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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/4/2009 8:53:13 AM
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SurpassingPeace
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I wanted to say something about the lack of sleep. To be blunt, you just have to learn to deal with it. You sleep when you can. For me, my second baby was harder because I couldn't sleep when he did because of Hannah. You learn to seriously, seriously, (did I mention seriously) lower your expectations, go into survival mode (food, clothes, sleep), and you walk around in this half out of it momma twilight place. I know it is horrible. It is one of the reasons that I question having a third because I am so destroyed by lack of sleep.
It does get better. For me, it really takes 6 months to get back to our new normal and get into a rhythm. I don't like saying it but it is true. Almost to the day of Logan turning 6 months , I turned to my husband and said, I feel better than I have in so long. Each day, week, month, gets better but 6 months is the "magic" time for me.
Sharon, please, please, please be careful with doing to much. If you don't let your incision heal properly, it can cause so much damage later on. I am full of scar tissue because I would not take it easy with my first. I learned it for the second but sadly the damage is done. The scar tissue may cause me a lot of problems later on in life. You will get your life back. I promise. Please don't rush it.
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/4/2009 10:43:24 AM
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sharonjef2007
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Oh trust me, not a lot has gotten done around here! I did go to church this past Sunday and left Derrek home with my husband. But, I really needed the break. My mom comes in this afternoon and Ray goes back to work tomorrow. So, I'll still have some help for the next couple of weeks. I guess surgery wise, I'm just surprised that it seems to be healing as well and as fast as it is. And, I wonder how much of my tiredness is sleep deprivation, hormone changes and my body recovering from the surgery.
Last night I started running a fever...not sure what that was all about. It did break last night (I sweated like a pig) and it has not come back this morning. I'll be sure to keep an eye on it. I had Ray look at my incision, and nothing seems to be infected there or anything. I figure it it were a real infection, the fever would not have broken so easily.
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/4/2009 10:49:47 AM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
I had Ray look at my incision, and nothing seems to be infected there or anything.
Has your "loss" increased at all, got brighter red, have you passed any clots?
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sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/4/2009 3:29:40 PM
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sharonjef2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
I had Ray look at my incision, and nothing seems to be infected there or anything.
Has your "loss" increased at all, got brighter red, have you passed any clots?
Nope, it hasstopped actually.
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 2:13:47 PM
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sharonjef2007
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Ok...so how do you deal with the baby blues? Last night and this morning was TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 2:29:15 PM
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SurpassingPeace
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Eat as well as you can, sleep whenever the baby sleeps (I know everyone says this but it really is that important), get fresh air, get some time to yourself (even just an hour), and if it lasts more than a few days I would really talk to my doctor. Baby blues can turn into full post partum depression. It is very serious and should not be downplayed. My sister had severe post partum depression on her 2nd of four. It isn't something to play around with.
I found this to be much easier with my seond than I did my first. The first was so overwhelming. There came a time that I was absolutely convinced that my child would never sleep more than two hours. I guess I thought I would be comforting her in the middle of the night at college. The second was better because I had a much better understanding of what "this is only a season" meant. I basically threw everything to the wind and just sat on the couch. I read books to my dd and nursed my son. Dinner was pizza and microwaved veggies. Anytime someone said, oh can I do something, I sent them off to do a load of laundry. Oh, I did shower every day. Put on some clothes like yoga pants and a tshirt, and usually put on a little makeup because that made me feel human. Make sure to keep up with some of your personal grooming because otherwise it can just be more depressing.
Above all, Just Hang In There. There is a light at the end of this crazy tunnel. One day very soon your precious baby will laugh out loud at the sight of you and the rest just sort of melts away.
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 2:32:34 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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Yes, and the "baby blues" are only supposed to last about 2 weeks after the birth, so anything lasting much longer then that I would talk to your OB about.
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I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money- you can keep "the change."
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 3:21:28 PM
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sharonjef2007
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Well, I haven't really noticed it until the past couple of days. And, like I said, last night was really bad. I had to go and wake up Ray and hand Derrek off to him while I started sobbing uncontrollably. No sleep in 24ish hours will do it to you I guess. I have tried to sleep when he does, but then I lay down and can't get to sleep. By the time I'm sort of dozing off, he wakes up.
Ray and my mom took care of the baby this morning though and I got 6ish hours of uninterrupted sleep. I still feel pretty weepy today, but at least I'm feeling in control. I was quickly losing control last night and it was scary.
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 3:35:11 PM
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Krislynx
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If you think sleep deprivation is driving it, can you put on music and try snuggling up with him on the couch and getting some sleep that way? I find if it is too quiet during the day (and at night sometimes) I can't shut my mind down enough to sleep. And he might sleep a little better or longer if you are holding him. He might not, but I doubt it would make him sleep less. And don't be afraid to call your doc if you need to. No shame in needing help!
Kris
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 3:41:26 PM
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clag4christ
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
Yes, and the "baby blues" are only supposed to last about 2 weeks after the birth, so anything lasting much longer then that I would talk to your OB about.
After the initial hormone drop with Jac I still felt myself even though I was at a normal 'even-keel' hormonally, if the girls were acting up feeling a bit overwhelmed and wanting to cry. Though I wouldn't classify that as so much 'baby blues' but just my hormones going back to normal.
After Hannah came home from the hospital, I was trying to do too much and I wasn't napping when she was sleeping so I pretty much had a break down three days after we came home. I was crying for like 3 hours...the next day my eyes were so puffy I could barely see out of them! I had to really remind myself that I was new at parenting, that I was going to make mistakes and that I *NEEDED* to nap when she did....which was pretty hard to do in the beginning with pumping and using the shield, ime...since all that just stressed me out more.
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 5:10:58 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Krislynx
And he might sleep a little better or longer if you are holding him. He might not, but I doubt it would make him sleep less.
By all means try this, but don't worry if it doesn't work for you. I couldn't sleep at all with Jonathan anywhere near me; I needed to be away from him if I was to sleep properly.
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"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 5:27:12 PM
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SurpassingPeace
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I am all for cosleeping. I would still be napping with Logan if he would. It was a great way to get rest for both us while Hannah. However, please don't nap on the sofa with him. The cushions are too cushy and a baby can get trapped. A friend of mine fell asleep with her 6 month old and he slipped between her and the couch and he suffocated. A bed is great because it is a firm surface.
Sorry, I know that is the last thing you want to hear right now but I don't anyone to go through what my poor friend has too.
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 7:23:39 PM
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manda59
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Sharon, it basically comes down to finding out what works for you and your family.
For some it's co-sleeping, for some it's not.
Right now, just find whatever way works for you of getting some sleep. I was almost totally sleep deprived for the first 6-8 weeks with my ds. He didn't sleep well either day or night, so sleeping when he slept was not an option. I got breaks on Saturdays and Sundays when my dh was home and could take him out and leave me to sleep, but the rest of the time I just got by somehow, holding onto my sanity by a thread (and a very thin thread at that!)
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"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/6/2009 11:08:58 PM
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sharonjef2007
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Well, I still feel like I got run over by a mac truck....hopefully tonight will be better. As for cosleeping......I don't trust it and we can't do it in our bed since we sleep in a full sized bed and there is just enough room for me and Ray. So, I'm sleeping on the pull out sofa right now and my husband is in the bedroom. He has a very stressful job and has to be somewhat rested for it.
I'm just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad my mommy is here right now! I'll have her for another week and a half.
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/7/2009 6:10:56 AM
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manda59
Posts: 8214
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
As for cosleeping......I don't trust it and we can't do it in our bed since we sleep in a full sized bed and there is just enough room for me and Ray.
Have you tried cosleeping for Derrek's naps in the day? I think the ladies here meant daytime too, not just at nighttime and there'd be more room in the bed when Ray wasn't there.
Also, it is really worth while having a lay down when Derrek naps, even if you don't sleep. Just taking the weight off your feet (and wound), closing your eyes and resting, even just for a little while, can be helpful, even if you don't actually sleep.
< Message edited by manda59 -- 11/7/2009 6:18:50 AM >
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"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/7/2009 7:50:12 AM
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SurpassingPeace
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We didn't cosleep at night. My husband was not comfortable with it and I respect that. Logan and I just napped together. I laid on my side and nursed him with my arm under his head. I did not do this when I was on narcotics for pain, only after. During the day, I slept lightly enough that if he moved, it woke me up. But I got to rest! The importance of rest hit home very hard with my little miss 18 month old into everything and my precious acid reflux baby. Even if you don't sleep you rest. I would even just lie there and do some light reading. I think, personally, that those daily naps really helped Logan and I bond. He was such a difficult baby because he was sick. Those times were precious.
I am so glad you are getting sleep. Six hours is amazing. I didn't get 6 hours, or 4 hours really, until Logan was maybe 3 months. With my daughter, it was much longer. I thought I would go mental.
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Karen
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/7/2009 1:07:25 PM
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W.O.F.
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I really ditto the chest sleeping.....it was a real lifesaver both with my first (who was a horrid sleeper) and with my 5th...who couldn't rest easy when laid down due to braces on her hips due to dual hip dysplasia.....
Recliners are wonderful.....and on your chest is the one area a baby is safe sleeping on their tummy.....
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/7/2009 2:15:51 PM
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Krislynx
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I only slept with Josh at night a handful of times. Most of them involved traveling and congestion. The only time all 3 of us shared a bed he was 6 months old and we had a king-size bed in a hotel room - Mark had the comforter and the far side of the bed, I had a sheet, thin blanket and Josh on top of it propped on my arm. Otherwise if I took him to bed with me at night (very rare) Mark would put him in the cradle when he came to bed. All naps were (and still are) snuggled together on the couch. I don't suggest keeping the habit until 2.5 though!
Kris
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/8/2009 3:42:16 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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We did a ton of chest sleeping in the beginning. Especially since it was the ONLY way she would sleep for about the first 6 weeks. We coslept in bed until around 12 weeks when DD decided she preferred sleeping in her own crib, and she's been there pretty much since then.
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Ryanne- trying hard to be my husband's girlfriend and my daughter's mother.
I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money- you can keep "the change."
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RE: Post Partum support thread! - 11/8/2009 4:37:14 PM
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northstar
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I ditto the chest sleeping too. That was the only way dd would sleep for the first few days, so I propped myself up on pillows and let her sleep on my chest. Having felt like I was going mad from sleep deprivation with ds, I learned from experience that for me I needed to do whatever was necessary to get some sleep. And it worked! I had more energy with two children under two years old, than I did when I just had the one. 
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