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how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids presence?

 
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how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids presence? - 10/27/2009 10:12:06 AM   
amarachiudensi

 

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I am in a dilemma right now. With three kids (ages 7,4,3), it's quite impossible (or so it seems) to keep my kids from witnessing the constant quarrels that ensues almost every morning before my husband goes out to work and each evening as he comes in from work or worse still, all day long during the weekends that he is at home.
Economic dilemma, work stress, nuclear family problems etc all constitutes
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RE: how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids pre... - 10/27/2009 10:18:56 AM   
3cappuccinosmom


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You can choose the time and the place for dealing with disagreements.

You can choose not to participate in quarrelling in front of the kids. It's a matter of controlling yourself, and refraining from either making snippy comments, or responding to snippy comments from him.

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The Ballad of Bad Biruk
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RE: how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids pre... - 10/27/2009 10:27:55 AM   
Liveloved

 

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I don't know that you can avoid disagreements with your husband. Nor do I think it healthy. Children benefit from seeing their parents live love to one another in the midst of these types of disagreements.

I'm not speaking of fighting here. But to not see something the same is something that happens. Live truthfully and honestly before your children. You can disagree but keep deep issues and discussion for your private time, alone with your spouse.

Learn to recognize the 'trigger points' that tend to set you off and don't let the enemy draw you into these types of pointless discussions. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He will fight these battles for you in the heavenlies. Bless you!

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Liveloved
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RE: how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids pre... - 10/27/2009 11:26:52 AM   
deermousie


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This is so tough. I know it's harder to do it than say it, but here it is: don't respond. No one can have a fight on their own. Refuse to speak.

I agree with 3Capp about setting an "appointment" to talk.

It's so hard when one spouse is not fulfilling their role and maybe is "fighting dirty." Your job is to react in truth and love inspite of the provocation.

I am praying for you and your family today. (((HUgs)))

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RE: how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids pre... - 10/27/2009 7:01:15 PM   
creationtalk

 

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I've been in a similar situation with my xh...he would come over to my house and start a fight with me in front of my son...or start a fight with me when I came to pick up my son...or call me at work and start a fight with me.

I finally started refusing to be drawn into the fight. I would tell him I was not going to argue with him, this was not a good time and if he wanted to discuss this with me then we could set a time when our son is not present. His reaction often left my son asking why his daddy was so mean to me...but at least my son did not have to see his parent fight.
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RE: how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids pre... - 10/27/2009 9:35:49 PM   
bolt.

 

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There is a difference between "disagreeing" and "having a disagreement" (code for a quarrel, argument or heated debate). There is no harm in children hearing their parents respectfully disagree with one another.

Try this:

"It's going to snow tonight."
"I disagree."
"No. It's going to snow."
"I heard you, I just don't agree."
"The weather said it's going to snow."
"I don't have a problem with you thinking so. If you really want to talk about it, we can go upstairs."

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RE: how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids pre... - 10/28/2009 6:06:35 AM   
Anon101


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I just tell my husband "not now" and look at our son and tell him we will address this later. He sometimes complies and sometimes doesn't. If your spouse is mad at you enough, they will follow you into another room where you to can go at it. I say that only because that is what I do if my husband continues. I just walk into another room where our son can't hear. My husband follows me and then continues. At least it isn't in front of our son.
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RE: how can I avoid disagreement with hubby in kids pre... - 10/28/2009 2:36:51 PM   
3cappuccinosmom


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I love bolt's example.

I would add, though, that while it is *fine* to have disagreeing feelings about something, it is not always necessary to express them, especially about petty things.

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Moo

The Ballad of Bad Biruk
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