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ORIGINAL by hnt:
You can't control the world, but you certainly should learn to control the way you react to it - temptation or not.

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It makes me very sad to hear the attitudes of some of the ladies here towards what God tells us is right and what men struggle with.

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ORIGINAL: htn
No one is saying modesty isn't not in the bible, and that is not right. No one said that. Not one time did I read that in this thread.

For me personally? Some of the generalizations about women's dress and men's visual struggles drive me nuts as well. I don't know how many times I have gone out dressed in a way that is pleasing to God, and felt 'eyes' upon me. Heck I remember feeling that from time to time even as a child, and I don't see where that is talked about NEAR as much as modesty is.

When you spend almost your entire time on how men struggle, and then bring modesty into the discussion to use as a hammer - which if you can't admit happens I can't help you there. I can tell you it happens, and generalizations are normally what is used to make the point. It seems others have felt that as well - that ALSO is not right and disrespectful to not acknowledge this on the same level!

In life there are always going to be temptations. You can't get around it - they will always be there. Resistance to temptations is where the rubber meets the road. That is where you see the character of the person, and NO that doesn't mean they have to be perfect. I haven't met on person on earth that is. If we can't admit that even if you covered a woman head to toe in a flour sack that some men (not all of course) wouldn't get tempted anyway? lol we are kidding ourselves!

Do we hear as many sermons on how men can handle themselves differently so women don't feel uncomfortable about KNOWING there are eyes on them? I don't know about you, but that maybe one of the most uncomfortable feelings for me. It makes me feel like a piece of meat. The excuse given? They are 'visual'. That's an excuse, and lessons on self control should be applied instead. I don't dress like a loose woman, and lack of self control is a reality for alot people in general. It needs to be spoken about more, because human nature will use 'modesty' as excuse for lack of self control if no one calls them on it. Sounds like a few here on the thread have. GOOD for THEM!

Its the issue of generalizations that are used as excuses for lack of self control that no one wants to go near! You can walk into any mall or store that is filled the rafters with unchristian immodest woman, and telling me the luring was because they caused them to stumble as opposed to just leaving? To me people give others to many excuses, and blame shift to make it easier for them to deal with.

You can't control the world, but you certainly should learn to control the way you react to it - temptation or not. The devil is whom places temptation out there, and yet to many people claim the devil made them do it instead of owning the fact they FELL in by choice!

I'm know there are women out there that dress to tempt on purpose, but we also have to admit there are men that lust on purpose as well. Where are all the sermons on that? For me personally those men and women have issues within themselves that need to be addressed. There are also young people that haven't even grasped this is wrong yet. What is going on their world?

In history men and women that were in 'proper' societies were kept separate for reasons. In the ladies case? It was out of protection due to men of no character. Did human nature change since then? Is it always just the women now? We all know attitudes toward sexuality have changed for the secular world, and yet in church you hope and pray we keep the the values God would wish us to. That doesn't erase the danger of women with men involved changed due to society's attitudes changing. Do we teach our men how to cope with this change, or do we ask women to lock themselves in the house like the Muslims do?

Its a two way street, and harping to much on one part? Isn't going to make the other half feel better. We don't seem to wish to talk about that at all. We love to point out the low cut shirts, but when we start to talk about the wandering eyes in the same way? I know I would feel safer and more secure myself.

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ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga

And how this sword passes both ways, cutting deep! The men need to take care of themselves in both their thoughts and dress, and we women need to do the same.