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When someone thinks you should public school - 10/31/2009 9:26:55 PM
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milby
Posts: 7
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Once again someone offended us with a comment about us homeschooling our kids. This time it was from someone at church. We are tired of defending our decision so I have come up with an idea and would like advice from other homeschoolers.
How about having a pre typed letter addressed to "So you think I should let the government teach my kids"? that we could mail to (or just hand them a copy) whenever someone questions our decision and freely gives their opinion about why they think we should send our kids to public school.
So if you were to write a letter explaining why you homeschool how would it go?
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/1/2009 1:05:43 AM
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cynthia
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From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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I think if a person asks a reasonable question I will answer it, but if a person is rude, then I choose not to answer a fool according to his folly. Writing a letter and passing it out to fools isn't going to do any good. Our answers should be based on what good they might do rather than simply letting people have it or trying to justify a decsion that is none of their business to question in the first place.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/1/2009 1:58:34 AM
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RJR_fan
Posts: 1168
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From: RTP, in sunny NC USA
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Visit John Taylor Gatto's web site. I'm reading his book The Underground History of American Education to my girls (11 and 13) now. This veteran teacher, who spent 30 years in the trenches, frequently refers to public education as "forced schooling" or "compulsion schooling."
Imagine a product so wretched, so inferior, that its purveyors can't even GIVE it away -- folks must be FORCED to buy it!
ANYHOW. Spend some time with Gatto, and you'll have ready answers. Ultimately, though, "success is the best revenge." God's favor and blessing rest upon home school families, the kids enjoy each other's company, can interact easily with various ages, and are simply a lot more fun to be around than the "lord of the flies" pack animals! Just mind your own business very well, and the results will speak for themselves.
_____________________________
Blogging my way through the Turkish New Testament
Meet my beloved mentor, RJR
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/1/2009 8:08:27 AM
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butterfly_doll
Posts: 17
Joined: 10/9/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cynthia
I think if a person asks a reasonable question I will answer it, but if a person is rude, then I choose not to answer a fool according to his folly. Writing a letter and passing it out to fools isn't going to do any good. Our answers should be based on what good they might do rather than simply letting people have it or trying to justify a decsion that is none of their business to question in the first place.
I agree ... but I know it is annoying to have people question your decisions. Our wonderful boys have never been to public school. They are all smart, friendly and well mannered. They enjoy the activites they are involved in. We get many compliments on their behavior, but we still get pressure from family members to "consider public school." That may have less to do with the boys and more to do with me though. I think they are disappointed that they helped me pay for college and instead of making more money, I am working part time from home and homeschooling. 
We also get questions from strangers if they see us with the boys out during school hours. Even the seemingly harmless comment/quesion, "no school today, eh?" is annoying, LOL. I had hoped that folks would embrace the fact that we're taking responsibility for our kids' education, but, some people are just offended at the idea. Some that we've come across include parents who feel guilty for not homeschooling and retired school teachers. Even if you don't come right out and say it, it feels to some people like your choice to educate your own child IS making a statement, or commentary on their choices or profession.
That being said, I would be careful about writing or saying anything that comes off as insulting the public school option, and stick to the facts about homeschooling. There are numerous studies on the HSLDA website about the benefits and successes of homeschooling (one of which I HAVE actually printed out to possibly give to a person who I feel honestly wants to learn more about homeschooling), but I haven't met such a person yet.
For anyone else, please remember that you don't really owe them any explanation at all! You can just say, "We are confident that this is the right decision for OUR family." Or " Thank you for your concern, but we are happy with our life and pleased with our children's progress" or something to that effect.
< Message edited by butterfly_doll -- 11/1/2009 2:57:07 PM >
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/1/2009 10:14:55 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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From: The EMPIRE state!
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I agree with the others. i probably would have a short answer prepared. something like:
" I think that your your kids should go to public school."
To which I might very well reply, "And that is why God gave them to me."
_____________________________
"You can" makes no difference. "You will" changes the world.
~BillyBob Jones in Grey soon to be authored by Caleb (12) for NaNoWriMo
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/1/2009 9:03:47 PM
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creationtalk
Posts: 475
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I don't usually worry about what other people think. There's no point in getting upset...doesn't hurt them a bit, but it is very hard on you.
Because I am confident that I am doing the right thing with my son, even though it is very difficult, I do not care what others say. Interestingly, I have had very few people we meet criticize us. I also do not see a question about why my son is not in school during regular school hours as anything of concern. People are curious and sometimes they just want to make conversation. My son is very personable and bright, and he attracts comments.
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/1/2009 9:52:23 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7008
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From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
My son is very personable and bright, and he attracts comments.
That was a great post, but I especially like the way you describe your son. How sweet.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/2/2009 3:07:41 PM
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cmom4
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I completely understand your feathers being ruffled by some of the comments that we can hear as homeschoolers. I have hs-ed for 7 yrs now and I can honestly say that from year one to year 3 the mindset of people has changed dramatically. I receive almost all positive feedback from curious people, but perhaps because it has become increasingly popular in my area and everyone knows someone who is doing it.
If you are more alone in your area of the country it can be harder on you to defend your decision.
Although it may be temporarily satisfying to hand someone a letter that addresses all of your thoughts, it would be perceived as more of an unfriendly reaction I fear. --assuming they would even take the time to read it.
Perhaps instead when someone questions you --you know, in a way that they aren't really trying to understand you but are more curious as to this "new breed of humanity" (that is what they make us feel like sometimes, right?!) you can be ready with a friendly smile and tone of voice and ask, "Oh, do you have a question about homeschooling that you would like me to answer for you?" If you are able to do this without any anger you will be presenting yourself as a friendly homeschooling mother willing to share the fruit of your labor! And when someone asks you merely out of a rude curiosity, "Shouldn't you be in school now kids?" you can respond with, "We homeschool. Are you curious about it? I can answer any questions you may have." That will either shut them up (oops, was that rude?  ) or they will come up with a genuine question pretty quick!
Happy Homeschooling
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/3/2009 10:49:57 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1653
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From: an ignoble beginning
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My response has always been "why...what exactly can they learn in public school that I am cannot teach them at home?"
That usually ends the discussion.
When kids ask me why mine can't go to public school...I simply ask them "what did you learn this week?".....most of the time they can tell me who got in fights, etc....I ask them..."no..what did you learn in class?" they stumble around and I say "that is why my kids don't go to school.....because I believe that there are more important things to learn than who got into what fight with whom and who got expelled."
I only answer OLDER kids with that ...or ones who I KNOW their parents put them up to asking.....otherwise I simply tell them that it is my choice...just like it is their parents' choice to not homeschool them.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/3/2009 11:04:39 PM
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sen10tious
Posts: 233
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I'd skip the letter.
Whoever told you that has been listening to whatever the devil has been whispering in their ear. They surely did not get that idea from reading scripture!
Hordes of people really do believe that certified government professionals ought to be indoctrinating your children.
Such people are springs without water and mists driven by a storm.
Jesus never went around defending himself to the Romans. He didn't even try to convert the Pharisees. One or two are recorded coming to seek him out, and he gave them his full attention then; but His basic attitude was that they were whited sepulchers.
It is time for you to toughen up. Do you think the person who said that was your mission field? If you do, then invite them over to see how homeschooling works. If you don't think that person was your mission field, but was just being used as an agent of the devil to steal your joy, then say, "Have a nice day." They will know that they have been insulted, but you won't have said anything insulting that you will regret. They will have to walk away when you refuse to discuss it.
_____________________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/7/2009 4:34:21 AM
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locomom
Posts: 28
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I'd wouldn't give it much thought unless someone was being unkind to your child. We all do what we believe is best for our family. The whole decision is between you, your husband, and God. I got to the point where I was relieved I only had to be part of the decision for my family and not for anyone else. If you really want to respond you could smile and say something like, "It's so interesting to watch God call each of his people different ways."
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/7/2009 8:04:05 AM
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stellaluna
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Why do you even care?
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/7/2009 8:15:20 AM
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SurpassingPeace
Posts: 816
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I am not sure why it bothers you so much. We make many parenting decisions that are not popular with one person or other. I don't really care. Our parenting deicsions are between us and God. What other people think doesn't factor into it.
_____________________________
Karen
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/7/2009 8:25:43 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1653
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From: an ignoble beginning
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One thing that I DO often answer them, with a chuckle, is "I think you should homeschool....". I then laugh again...they usually chuckle as well...and that ends the conversation on a positive note and it usually does not come up again.
Like many of the posters here said...it really comes down to believing in what you are doing...and learning to let those comments, etc slide. They hurt. They do...but you can choose to let them fester, or just say "you know what...unsolicited advice is always going to be there..and I KNOW I am doing what I am supposed to be doing...." and let it go.
It is not about toughening up....God forbid that you ever toughen your heart up...it is about learning to let it go....being confident that you are doing what God has told you to do...and just letting the rest go.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/7/2009 9:56:31 AM
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TXRedhead
Posts: 156
Joined: 4/28/2009
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I think if you want to engage them at all, you should just fall back on the Socratic Method and turn the tables on them. When they say, "I think you should send your kids to public school," you ask, "Why do you think that?"
After that, keep everything you say in the form of a question. Force them to defend THEIR beliefs. There's no reason why you should be forced to defend yours.
A good stumper question is always, "Why would you say that?" or "What makes you say that?"
Most people who engage in argument don't come well-prepared. They spout off talking points they've read or heard, but they aren't in any position to defend them.
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/7/2009 2:39:22 PM
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SurpassingPeace
Posts: 816
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I want to change my answer. I want to say what TXRedhead said. But since I can't, or it least it would be plagarism if I tried to pass it off as my own, I will just say "Ditto". That was also Christs method. He would often ask questions rather than answer. Good stuff.
_____________________________
Karen
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/7/2009 8:18:54 PM
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ctpruitt
Posts: 399
Joined: 4/25/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RJR_fan
Visit John Taylor Gatto's web site. I'm reading his book The Underground History of American Education to my girls (11 and 13) now. This veteran teacher, who spent 30 years in the trenches, frequently refers to public education as "forced schooling" or "compulsion schooling."
Imagine a product so wretched, so inferior, that its purveyors can't even GIVE it away -- folks must be FORCED to buy it!
ANYHOW. Spend some time with Gatto, and you'll have ready answers. Ultimately, though, "success is the best revenge." God's favor and blessing rest upon home school families, the kids enjoy each other's company, can interact easily with various ages, and are simply a lot more fun to be around than the "lord of the flies" pack animals! Just mind your own business very well, and the results will speak for themselves.
Let me state a few things here:
(1) As far as the OP goes, tell’em the kids are yours. Not theirs. If you want to home-school them, you can.
Having said that, here are a few points that some posters need to hear:
(1) Don’t make blanket statements like “certified government professionals” and use it as tho those officials are somehow agents of Satan. I know five families at my church who home-school their kids (one is my cousin). Oddly enough, they are “certified government professionals”; all 5 husbands are public school teachers.
Is that not ironic? The system you condemn is the very one that provides their living and funds individual ministries they all do. All five are as outstanding Christian men as any man who has home-schooled children.
(2) As much as this may surprise people, “God’s favor” is on all His children…home-schooled or not. That remark is in very poor taste.
(3) Now here’s something that will surprise you: I am all for “forced education”. If the parents don’t won’t to send their kids to public school…fine; but they had better be home-schooling them in some way. My grandmother told me once (and I posted this somewhere) that when she was a kid, people were not required to go to any kind of school…public or home. She also told me that there was very little in the way of home-schooling because in most families (like her grandfather’s) neither parents could read or write. The first “public” school she ever saw was
was sponsored by a local church who got teacher to run it. It was one of those “every grade in the same room” deals. The building is still standing ten miles from where I am at. The county school was not built until 1955.
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/8/2009 2:05:17 AM
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Kath
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quote:
So if you were to write a letter explaining why you homeschool how would it go?
Please make sure when one replies to the thread, one keeps to the topic. I have quoted it for you above.
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/8/2009 8:57:02 AM
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JuliaHop
Posts: 286
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
How about having a pre typed letter addressed to "So you think I should let the government teach my kids"? that we could mail to (or just hand them a copy) whenever someone questions our decision and freely gives their opinion about why they think we should send our kids to public school.
I don't think that such a letter would be helpful.
If I were to write a "blanket" letter, I would include information concerning the pros of home education, not the cons of any other system. Use information that educates and gives a testimony, not one that attacks.
_____________________________
For God so loved the World, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
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RE: When someone thinks you should public school - 11/10/2009 10:59:28 AM
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allisonbrett
Posts: 837
Joined: 5/29/2008
From: A bit north of the Big Chicken
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I guess if you wrote a letter just to have on hand (just in case) it may help you organize your thoughts and help you decide on a straight-forward reply when those questions do arise. I guess you could list the pros and benefits as well as the stats on how much more advanced, etc. You could also explain how you get to choose through thousands of curriculum in each subject to choose which works best for your children's learning style instead of having to go along with what the county/city choose for every ___ grader.
Personally I don't think a letter for most would work but it may help you find quick responses to those annoying questions. But then there may be times when others continue badgering about the subject and having something written may not be such a bad thing.
_____________________________
Allison
A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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