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A Family At A Headlock - 11/2/2009 10:39:09 AM
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Ngale
Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline
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Need your prayers, I have to describe some details to let you know what to pray for. Sorry for my poor English. Speaking a little, it might be better not writing at all, but something makes me to do.
My situation is highly knotted, and it's impossible for me to puzzle out. I even hardly know what to start telling from. So, excuse me for the rumbling thoughts. Let me commence somehow.
I get about 390 euro a month. 255 euro are spent for rent a flat, 120 euro are spent for the bank credit. Of course, the remainder of 15 euro is nothing for the rest needs. Now our daughter is 6 months old. She needs nutrition and "pampers", vitamins and some medicines everyday, and I don't say "toys" and whatsoever. So, I look for an extra income.
There are two problems for that. The first is to find a way for earning money, the second is lack of time for doing extra work, when found. This forces me to slightly neglect my duties at the direct work, putting off till one day in future, but it has been collected too much of this. Besides, I have to spend at least 2 hours to buy and bring home food, spring water, things like that, and go to work again till late evening, sometimes till deep night or early morning. At nights, if I'm home, I nurse the daughter to let my wife sleep a bit. Naturally, I almost lose my powers when the morning begins, and so I cannot act in a proper way at work, then I have no time to complete my task, and it's left for future and so on. This means that one day my chief may say "Thank you and good bye". But however I agree to do extra job again due to no other way. What is worse, sometimes I'm forced to keep my secondary affairs in secret, since some of them should be done in the daytime, and I simply leave my direct work, what actually means fraud. When our child was born, I was forced to come home 2 or 3 times a day. After a couple of weeks my director showed me a list with my presence and absence at work, day by day, minute by minute. I answered nothing, but my wife's mother came and stayed with us for 3 months to help out. Then my wife's father came for a week to see the baby and they went back.
I have neither money nor time to start my own small business like assembling computers, repairing ovens, installing video and security systems or whatever else.
I don't have a posibility to find another high-paid work due to some reasons. For instance, business trips are not acceptable, because there's nobody to go and buy a piece of bread for my wife, and she cannot do it herself with a baby. Our baby is outdoors to take the fresh air, just 2 or 3 times a week with me only, 20 minutes usually, because I cannot spend longer time.
I'm tight. How could this happen? There is nobody to blame for it. I am the most guilty person. And there is a worse problem than just described above.
I divorced 6 years ago. The flat and all the things have been kept with my previous wife and son, who is now married himself. Then I married the present wife. We moved to the city where my relatives live. As my mother was religious, I assured my wife, that my mother and aunt are very kind women, moreover, they are christians, and this means more than just to be kind. I thought, although I'm a sinner, but my mother will understand and accept the situation with wisdom.
But everything went in another way. As so as my wife is much younger than me, my mother and aunt suspected my wife of taking her mind to get somewhat goods from them and me, like a flat. They could not believe she loves me, and they could not tell this directly open, face to face, but composed sly questions and provocations instead. My wife's parents had a house and a flat, and we lived in the flat before going here, and her parents proposed us to stay. Her parents atheists were very kind with me, not like my mother christian. Of course, this was extremely offensive to my wife.
As a result, we rent a flat, and my mother doesn't know where. We don't communicate at all. A few times, my mother came to my work to talk, and I told her that they have hurted my wife for nothing, and the first step must be asking her pardon. When mother asked "How? I don't know where you live", I replied that God would make a chance, because personally I cannot see how to approach to my wife with this harming subject.
And it happened so! They met casually on the street, in presence of a crowd of people. But for some reason my mother didn't say "sorry", and started asking strange questions and blaming. It seemed to be the final breaking-off, but a year or so later my mother took her mind to give us some money as excuses. Nothing "better" she could do. My wife considered this as they wanted to buy her.
Now we have a seldom day in peace. Because each time I'm doing something wrong, my wife mentions my mother, and word by word, we quarrel finishing with the obscene language and even more. She says the only good way is if I die. And it's true! Because in this case she may come back to her parents. Some days later we reconcile and she loves me but just till my next fault.
And yet I believe God is close. We couldn't get a baby for some years and tried medical examination, but nothing was discovered. Then we stopped investigations due to lack of money, and 2 years later my wife got pregnant. As I said, 6 monts ago our daughter appeared in this world. This is a nice wonder with cheerful or serious and searching look. She is as beautiful as nobody around.
Up to now, living wage was found by hook or by crook. Each month I give money to the owner of the flat and think: "Where should I find next?". I even tried driving taxi, but each time I tried to go, something happened to cancel it. This month I didn't succeed to complete extra work, and besides, we got additional expences for baby chair and other stuff. On top of everything, my wife got flu and I was supposed to miss 3 days of working both legally and extra. I'm feeling as a heart-break is coming up.
But a few days ago I took a collegue into my car to drop him and the equipment to the work place. On the way, I stopped and went out to visit a technical store. He stayed in. That time another car jammed mine, and my collegue was a witness. As far as the initiator of the accident had no time and same was with me, I took money and now I've got exactly enough to pay for the flat.
God is close.
Then what do I want? I don't know. I'm tired. I'm ill. I need glasses to work and shoose to walk, because water comes in. My wife needs a coat. My heart and soul hurt, because I cannot be glad of thinking that my mother is going to hell and maybe me, too. I can't mention my son and I don't call him, because this will make a conflict. I heard as my wife and her mother tried to guess whom our daughter goes after. They looked over their close and far relatives discussing almost every day and I looked at my baby's face and knew that 90 percent of all this looks like my mother's face and like mine. And I kept silence. Five monts later, my wife acknowledged this with some regret. But my mother still has not seen her granddaughter. And we have nobody to stay with the child while my wife is washing or to walk with the girl, or just buy an apple while I'm working.
So, that's it. And I don't know what is right to ask for. Maybe, for my wife's parents? They did not show an intention to meet my mother. They live in another country, and cannot come often. I don't know whether they feel disgust for christianity now, but my wife's sister married muslim. And my wife says that's better. Should I live? Should we divorce? I don't want to die, and I'm very boring without my half. How can we survive? What will I tell to this creature, when she will be able to put questions? We are afraid to think of her future. My wife cries. I kept all this in my heart all the last years, but it's difficult to stand anymore.
I pray to God to find out. Let me get a permanent income. Let us have our own home. Let us be saved. Let us come to peace. But I can't imagine what and how to do. That is why I told so much - because I need both prayer and advice.
Thank you.
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/2/2009 1:36:56 PM
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Keabird
Posts: 662
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Hi, do you go to a Christian church? Is there an older Christian pastor/minister you could share this with?
Father God, please help this man in whatever way is needed. The practical needs are obvious Lord, but he also needs to learn how to truly walk with You, to be assured that his name is written in the Lamb's book of life. Please show him how to walk in your ways Lord. I ask You Lord to lead mature, loving and wise Christians to him and his family Lord, who can offer wisdom and practical help, along with spiritual advice.
Please help this family Lord. I ask in Jesus Name
amen
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/2/2009 2:32:04 PM
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prayn4u
Posts: 4773
Joined: 1/12/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Keabird
Hi, do you go to a Christian church? Is there an older Christian pastor/minister you could share this with?
Father God, please help this man in whatever way is needed. The practical needs are obvious Lord, but he also needs to learn how to truly walk with You, to be assured that his name is written in the Lamb's book of life. Please show him how to walk in your ways Lord. I ask You Lord to lead mature, loving and wise Christians to him and his family Lord, who can offer wisdom and practical help, along with spiritual advice.
Please help this family Lord. I ask in Jesus Name
amen
Our Father, I am agreeing in prayer with Keabird as we lift Ngale and his family up to You. When our life appears tangled and puzzled, I am thankful that we can trust in You. Thank You for this man recognizing that You are close and that He can trust You with his and his family's lives. Please come to their rescue and draw them to You. May You Goodness shine brightly before these family members who do not know You. In the name of Jesus the Messiah I pray, may Your Will be done. To GOD be the glory. Amen.
_____________________________
~ Rejoice in hope ~ be patient in tribulation ~ be constant in prayer ~ Romans 12:12 ESV
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/2/2009 7:01:47 PM
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marstacy
Posts: 3688
Joined: 10/2/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: prayn4u
quote:
ORIGINAL: Keabird
Hi, do you go to a Christian church? Is there an older Christian pastor/minister you could share this with?
Father God, please help this man in whatever way is needed. The practical needs are obvious Lord, but he also needs to learn how to truly walk with You, to be assured that his name is written in the Lamb's book of life. Please show him how to walk in your ways Lord. I ask You Lord to lead mature, loving and wise Christians to him and his family Lord, who can offer wisdom and practical help, along with spiritual advice.
Please help this family Lord. I ask in Jesus Name
amen
Our Father, I am agreeing in prayer with Keabird as we lift Ngale and his family up to You. When our life appears tangled and puzzled, I am thankful that we can trust in You. Thank You for this man recognizing that You are close and that He can trust You with his and his family's lives. Please come to their rescue and draw them to You. May You Goodness shine brightly before these family members who do not know You. In the name of Jesus the Messiah I pray, may Your Will be done. To GOD be the glory. Amen.
Father,
Let the prayers of Keabird and prayn4u be mine, too. I pray that You will hear and
answer in ways that are for Your glory.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
_____________________________
Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/2/2009 7:03:50 PM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10819
Status: offline
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Praying.
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/3/2009 6:04:17 AM
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Ngale
Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline
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Thank you all.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Keabird
Hi, do you go to a Christian church? Is there an older Christian pastor/minister you could share this with?
Although my grandfather and grandmother were Christians (and mom became later), I did not even fulfilly know that Jesus is real God. There were periods when I was an atheist, when believed in "something", when considered the Bible to be as same as other ancient religious books.
Mom moved here earlier, I didn't see her for 6 years. During this time she changed the denomination because of her sister, with opinion that there's no difference. When we came and discovered that my mom and aunt and others exhibit too strange behaviour to be Ñhristians, and the same was observed in their church, then I looked for another one.
And such a church was found, called Separated or Unregistered Baptists (IUC ECB). We liked the teaching, divine service, relations etc. After a while we confessed. My wife was happy like a child. She waited for christening with impatience. We told my relatives to come, too.
But soon we observed not Christian behaviour in the church. Please don't think they eat children or make such a kind of terror. Just we saw some strange things, which are to be accepted in the world, not in church. For instance, our church got humanitarian aid. In the separate room, they put bags with clothes and everybody took something. But later we learned that this process was not announced, and one old sister, who was in the neighboring room, did not know about it and did not get anything. Shame.
Sermons with much of own words and human opinions, with fulmination against other denominations were obnoxious. Preaching equality but paying more attention to a person with money in his pocket seemed like craftiness. One brother who lives over 20 years with Christ, is not allowed to preach without arguments what is wrong, and the pastor proposed me to preach, though I'm nobody. Thank God, I did not do. One sister was unchurched for she divorced but I believe nobody learned the situation. Now she is in the official baptist church.
It was a lot of such details. Our belief was destroyed. The choice was either to keep silence like others or manifest as the New Testament says. The first way was not acceptable for us, and I could not dare to realize the second one, because this might break others' belief. Who am I to blame a pastor? And who is going to hear me and correct his life? We tried to go to another place, but we could not feel that presence of Holy Spirit as we did in the beginning. We did not go any more and now we are unchurched there.
Day by day, we lost christian life and one day I told to my wife that I would not pray before dinner. How can I pray as I were a head of the family, if I'm not?
quote:
Is there an older Christian
My mother must be an older Christian, by the way. But my wife will listen to just whom she respects. If one showed any slyness or seaching for his own aim, or injustice, one lost her trust forever.
I know what a pastor can say. But the problem is the same. My wife is not even going to ask anybody. Our pastor, when asked, told us to maintain relations with my relatives. But this is against what the New Testament says.
"A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject; "(Titus, 3:10)
"Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him." (Luke 17:3)
We have got a family from our church and we suppose them to be friends of ours. But for their peace we did not communicate for 2 years. Recently we met, and they told that the situation in the church is much worse than it was 3 years ago. Now they sometimes miss divine service because they cannot stand what is going on there, and they stay at home and pray with children like a home church.
We cannot get an advice from them, because their daughter-in-law quarrelled with them, took their son and left with no exact explanation. As you see, it's the other side of the same coin.
The only way is to change myself. I must become a lamb. Whatever happens, whatever is said, whoever is mentioned - despite all of this I must keep peace of mind. If I did so, we would not meet such problems. I must just love and believe.
How?
Jesus, give me powers. And bring me to Your Church.
< Message edited by Ngale -- 11/3/2009 11:18:54 AM >
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/3/2009 9:56:21 AM
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sparkleingsnow
Posts: 5054
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: offline
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Dear Father, I ask that You would draw this man and his family into a close relationship with You. That he would seek to follow You abouve all things. That You would help him with work and rest and meet every need Lord. Bless this family in every way that You know is best, and may they know that comes from You. In Jesus name we ask. Amen
_____________________________
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalms 18:2
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/3/2009 11:03:40 AM
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Ngale
Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2009
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Thank you. Your words touch my heart, although these are not words of my native language.
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/3/2009 1:38:50 PM
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Keabird
Posts: 662
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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Hi again, when I say "older Christian" I do mean someone who is mature in the faith, that you respect. I don't mean someone who is older in age, although such a person might be older in age.
There are no perfect churches, but there are many churches around that are supportive with sound teaching. I wonder if you and your wife should just keep going to a few different ones until you find one that meets your spiritual needs? I believe there is a place on this forum also that helps people find good churches in their area. Maybe someone can point you to the right link for that. Anyway I will pray about it.
Father God, please lead this man and his family to a place of fellowship where the people have a good understanding of the Bible, preach it and teach it, and try to live it. I pray it would be a place where they will be welcomed with the love of Jesus and open arms, where they will be able to grow and share, and be strengthened and encouraged. Lord, none of us are perfect in churches. We don't always get it right. Forgive for that Lord, and bear with us - help us to bear with each other, and as Ngale says, to be like lambs, lambs who will follow You, the true Shepherd. I pray in Jesus Name
amen
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/3/2009 8:09:53 PM
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Ngale
Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline
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Thank you much.
"Older Christians" - yes, I've got it as you mean.
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/3/2009 9:42:55 PM
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peaceofGod
Posts: 10733
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Now in TX
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sparkleingsnow
Dear Father, I ask that You would draw this man and his family into a close relationship with You. That he would seek to follow You abouve all things. That You would help him with work and rest and meet every need Lord. Bless this family in every way that You know is best, and may they know that comes from You. In Jesus name we ask. Amen
Amen.
This is my prayer, too.
_____________________________
Php 4:6...with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Blog: Dissed?
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/4/2009 7:10:31 AM
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Ngale
Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline
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Thank you for your prayer and moral care.
I looked over some other requests and found that my situation looks as I'm doing well, in comparison with those. So, I don't even understand why God should devote attention to my family instead of hurrying to meet other needies. But since He said "Come to Me everybody" and "Pray for each other", I go ahead with my troubles.
I've mentioned about our friend family above. They also have a soul pain caused by the broken relationships. Their son has cancelled studying in higher school and was nearly to quit with suicide. But then he met a girl, found sence of life and got married. The problem is that his wife quarrelled with her husband's parents and made him move to her mother's home, although the accomodation conditions are worse there. Most likely that she put pressure upon her husband not to see his parents, and not to call them.
Now the young pair is about to become parents very soon. Our friends, when talked, say that they have a little hope to be informed as the child will be born. They don't know the reason. Please pray for their daughter-in-law to become softer, and for that I could find the words to advice them because I see the problem just from the other side, mean me and my mother. Perhaps, God has flung us together to teach us.
This is their elder son. They also have an elder daughter, who works and feels good. Both of them confessed in the same church, in which we did, but then disappointed, maybe because of the same cases, happened in the church, which I've written about.
Please pray Jesus to find them.
Please pray for the church to be purified, because if 5 persons of about 35 have quit, 2 more are near taking a decision to quit, and some more know that the things go in a wrong way, then what this could mean? And yet this information is old, now it may already be 8 instead of 5, 4 instead of 2, and so on.
This is the more so sorrowful, as the pastor had been prisoned for the faith in Christ formerly. Why doesn't he see?
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RE: A Family At A Headlock - 11/4/2009 2:49:06 PM
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prayn4u
Posts: 4773
Joined: 1/12/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ngale
Thank you for your prayer and moral care.
I looked over some other requests and found that my situation looks as I'm doing well, in comparison with those. So, I don't even understand why God should devote attention to my family instead of hurrying to meet other needies. But since He said "Come to Me everybody" and "Pray for each other", I go ahead with my troubles.
I've mentioned about our friend family above. They also have a soul pain caused by the broken relationships. Their son has cancelled studying in higher school and was nearly to quit with suicide. But then he met a girl, found sence of life and got married. The problem is that his wife quarrelled with her husband's parents and made him move to her mother's home, although the accomodation conditions are worse there. Most likely that she put pressure upon her husband not to see his parents, and not to call them.
Now the young pair is about to become parents very soon. Our friends, when talked, say that they have a little hope to be informed as the child will be born. They don't know the reason. Please pray for their daughter-in-law to become softer, and for that I could find the words to advice them because I see the problem just from the other side, mean me and my mother. Perhaps, God has flung us together to teach us.
This is their elder son. They also have an elder daughter, who works and feels good. Both of them confessed in the same church, in which we did, but then disappointed, maybe because of the same cases, happened in the church, which I've written about.
Please pray Jesus to find them.
Please pray for the church to be purified, because if 5 persons of about 35 have quit, 2 more are near taking a decision to quit, and some more know that the things go in a wrong way, then what this could mean? And yet this information is old, now it may already be 8 instead of 5, 4 instead of 2, and so on.
This is the more so sorrowful, as the pastor had been prisoned for the faith in Christ formerly. Why doesn't he see?
Our Father, I am in agreement and lift up Ngale's prayer requests. Thank You, Father, for this forum where we can come and join together in prayer supporting our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. In the name of Jesus the Messiah I pray, may Your Will be done. To GOD be the glory. Amen.
_____________________________
~ Rejoice in hope ~ be patient in tribulation ~ be constant in prayer ~ Romans 12:12 ESV
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