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What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/4/2009 4:39:58 PM
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Fritzpw_Admin
Posts: 8042
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: New Jersey
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quote:
When We Are Called to Silence
JoJo Tabares - The Old Schoolhouse
They say silence is golden. Your mother probably told you that if you didn't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all. Benjamin Franklin said, "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." What a great saying! What can the sound of silence contribute to your effective communication? Plenty!
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: . . . a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7)
The Lord shares with us that there is a time to speak up, but there is also a time to be silent. These times occur more often than you might think! There are four main reasons to "keep silence."
1. We are called to silence when we might hurt someone's feelings. Some things must be said, but other things only serve to anger, inflame, upset, or frustrate others. Ask yourself if there is a higher purpose to the words you plan to utter. If not, it is quite possible that you would be most eloquent in silence. Remember that not every comment requires a response! Some things are better left unsaid.
"Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips." (Psalm 141:3)
"Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference." -Author Unknown
2. We are called to silence when all the facts are not yet in. It is a human foible that we love to seem as if we know things. Sharing information with the "Know Nots" somehow makes us feel privileged. Occasionally we find that what we know isn't truth at all. That's why Snopes.com is so popular. If you have only part of the story, one side of the issue, or have not corroborated your facts, God may be calling you to silence to keep you from unwittingly speaking gossip or deceit.
"Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile." (Psalm 34:13)
"Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor; I am the Lord." (Leviticus 19:16)
"Tis better to be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt."—Abraham Lincoln
Read the rest of When We Are Called to Silence
What topics do you have to just swallow and keep silent on?
_____________________________
Fred "Fritz" Alberti
Director of Social Media
fritz@salemwebnetwork.com
Read today's Bible verse from my favorite online Bible
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/4/2009 5:49:16 PM
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Grace71
Posts: 137
Joined: 7/6/2009
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Preacher bashing, since the web sure isn't the most reliable source of info, and said info may come from someone who simply has a different theology.
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/4/2009 5:50:24 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 4194
Joined: 12/30/2007
From: Inside my head
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The topics upon which I'm not 100% sure of my facts.
_____________________________
Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion.
What have we to fear?
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/4/2009 6:19:28 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 10990
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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There are SOOOO many topics I bite my fingers on. I don't even START.
Some are hot buttons for me; others I have an opinion, but feel like I should remain neutral since they're areas in which I'm doing heavy moderation.
_____________________________
LibriVox: acoustical liberation of books in the public domain
(Avatar: Turkeys are all saying "Moo")
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/4/2009 6:35:53 PM
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LCannon
Posts: 1121
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Lebanon, OR
Status: online
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If 'the issue' is only to my or a particular factions agenda generally it's not even worth the debate and quickly turns into an argument.
_____________________________
'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' (Joshua 1:5)
''Let the very worst thing come to pass[and]even there,
especially there; His hand will hold.' -Elisabeth Elliot-
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/5/2009 5:36:29 AM
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armydude
Posts: 12882
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: NC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace71
Preacher bashing, since the web sure isn't the most reliable source of info, and said info may come from someone who simply has a different theology.
I agree.
_____________________________
As much as it's possible, learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/5/2009 5:59:57 AM
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LedZeppelin
Posts: 9
Joined: 10/30/2009
Status: offline
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There are many topics I'm silent on but depending on the company I'm in.
In general, unless I'm in the company of someone whom I detest, I don't talk about politics or religion. I've had so much hardline religious fundamentalism shoved down my throat to last me a lifetime. And I cannot stand most politics-left or right wing.
I don't also talk about the environment. I find that environmentalism is fast becoming the new religion. I've been openly opposed for eg, because I choose to drive a V8 car. Yeah, it's no good for the environmnent. It's my choice and nobody's business what car I drive. I also let my cats out at night to freely roam. Yeah, that's bad for the environment. Again, my business, no one elses. I find people these days are becoming incredibly pesky about the environment and shoving enviromental doctrinces down everyones throat. So I refuse to engage in any conversation about the environment.
I also don't like to talk about WW2. I'm sick to death of all the one sided conversations and the complete absence of accountability of crimes committed by non Axis forces. We all know the atrocities committed by the Nazis-most people however don't realise that Stalin for eg, killed far more people than Hitler. Give credit where credit is due and infamy where infamy is due, I say. And if you say anything, you come across as a Nazi sympathiser. So I refuse to talk about WW2.
I absolutely refuse to ever assist a woman in need also and won't even discuss helping a woman in need. Now I know that sounds strange. But in my last church, there was such a big deal about all this business of men and women being separated that I am still uncomfortable when with a woman alone. I once offered my female pastor a lift. You should have seen the reaction. You'd think I asked her to meet me in a penthouse room. So, I never offer women lifts if they need for eg. And I refuse them such requests if I'm asked. Blame that on my last church. In fact, I once was driving late at night on a highway in an isolated rural area when I noticed a car stranded. I pulled over and as I was walking towards the car, I noticed a woman and a younger girl, ( I assumed her daughter). I turned around and went back to my car and drove off.
Because I will never be accused again of being "loose" just because I (used to) have no problems being in the company of a woman not my wife alone. So if a woman is talking about needing someone to help her or give her a lift, I clam up.
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/5/2009 1:04:37 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 5603
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
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Online I keep silent about several topics that I have no problem with offline when I can see the person, reach out to them, observe their tone and body language and it's more of a dialog rather than tit-for-tat for proving oneself "correct."
some of those might be:
Christians and Psychology
Church structure (elders, deacons, etc.)
Women in ministry
_____________________________
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
~Erma Bombeck
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/5/2009 5:14:30 PM
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10SNE1?
Posts: 219
Joined: 4/19/2005
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Different topics for different crowds:
On here, anything that is discussed in a "One-Stop Thread". But not One-Stop Threads themselves....I think those are stupid. 
With a certain friend, his church/Pastor. A rather controversial fellow and, while this friend is generally a great "iron sharping iron" debate partner,I have recently come to the conclusion that, on this issue, he just brings no ability to not make things personal and go on the defensive. It just never ends well, feelings are hurt, apologies are needed... So I simply don't bring it up.
In real life at my church( with the laity, not the staff)....many non-salvation oriented doctrinal issues. Eschatology, psst doinkdom women in leadership, infant baptism, young earth creationism. Many parents really seem to think that my thoughts on beginnings and endings are more important than my present day commitment to model "love God, love people" to their children.
I also refuse to engage in almost all discussions of a political nature with most other believers...although this one probably doesn't count because I have found that keeping silent on this topic tends to madden people almost as much as saying what they don't want to hear. 
Then there is the fluid category: The stuff that some days I keep quiet about because I just not in the mood and other days I throughly enjoy tossing these comment into the mix just to spice up a boring day. Thoughts such as:
Beth Moore gets on my nerves. I prefer the 70s station to K-Love. My kids all dated and are doing fine, thankyouverymuch. If we all need to be in a mid-size group and a small group...maybe we should just go back to smaller churches and have more money to send to feed the orphans. Seriously, we are still talking about people wearing jeans to church?? 
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/9/2009 12:11:02 PM
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BelleWeather
Posts: 725
Joined: 7/29/2009
From: New York City
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 10SNE1?
Different topics for different crowds:
On here, anything that is discussed in a "One-Stop Thread". But not One-Stop Threads themselves....I think those are stupid.
With a certain friend, his church/Pastor. A rather controversial fellow and, while this friend is generally a great "iron sharping iron" debate partner,I have recently come to the conclusion that, on this issue, he just brings no ability to not make things personal and go on the defensive. It just never ends well, feelings are hurt, apologies are needed... So I simply don't bring it up.
In real life at my church( with the laity, not the staff)....many non-salvation oriented doctrinal issues. Eschatology, psst doinkdom women in leadership, infant baptism, young earth creationism. Many parents really seem to think that my thoughts on beginnings and endings are more important than my present day commitment to model "love God, love people" to their children.
I also refuse to engage in almost all discussions of a political nature with most other believers...although this one probably doesn't count because I have found that keeping silent on this topic tends to madden people almost as much as saying what they don't want to hear.
Then there is the fluid category: The stuff that some days I keep quiet about because I just not in the mood and other days I thoroughly enjoy tossing these comment into the mix just to spice up a boring day. Thoughts such as:
Beth Moore gets on my nerves. I prefer the 70s station to K-Love. My kids all dated and are doing fine, thankyouverymuch. If we all need to be in a mid-size group and a small group...maybe we should just go back to smaller churches and have more money to send to feed the orphans. Seriously, we are still talking about people wearing jeans to church??
10SNE1?--Hilarious <and so very true>
One-Stop folders--New posts go in and nothing comes out, like a topical black-hole.
Current Events--why are people so abject to others having a differing opinion or other information? Too many threads turn into duelling conspiracy theories (no facts or links, thank you very much!), and need placing in the "Conspiracy" sub.
The Catholic Discussion Index--Should be called the Protestant vs Catholic Death Match, much like VH1s "Celebrity Death Match." The continuous level of comtempt from some posters is very disturbing, and rather surprising. In any other thread, mods would be reminding everyone the TOS, or removing the offending posts. A lack of monitoring of threads that generate conflagration, turn into tacit agreement by the powers-that-be: completely unintended but implied.
I'm trying to keep my posts civil, fact-based, loving, and a little interesting. I probably irritate plenty of posters because of my English language short-comings, horrific punctuation (I'm honestly trying to do better), colloquialisms, and curiousity in All-Things-American.
It is a very difficult job to keep a forum this size running smoothly. I deeply appreiciate the administration and mods diligence, understanding, and infinite patience.
_____________________________
We think we fathom the depths
when we are just skimming the surface with our finger.
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/9/2009 8:58:15 PM
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lemon_sorbet
Posts: 30
Joined: 11/6/2009
Status: offline
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Pretty much the only thing I CANNOT discuss is abortion  . I've tried, I've attempted civility, but I just can't do it. If you ever feel marginalized as an evangelical christian, try being a pro-life atheist/feminist. Trust me, there aren't that many of us out there!
_____________________________
Q. Why are we violent but not illiterate? A. Because we are taught to read." -David Allan
I'm an ex-christian! :D
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/9/2009 9:00:00 PM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10819
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
The topics upon which I'm not 100% sure of my facts.
That leaves me out of a whole lot of topics.
_____________________________
Thank you Veterans.
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/9/2009 9:05:49 PM
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rawr.ben
Posts: 2746
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: online
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I pretty much just run in with my guns-a-blazing into any topic.
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rawr.ben
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/10/2009 12:56:27 PM
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allisonbrett
Posts: 837
Joined: 5/29/2008
From: A bit north of the Big Chicken
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I have learned not to speak of politics and obama with my father; avoid any discussion of money and/or finances, church, religion or faith of any kind much less Christ or salvaiton with my step-mother; no talk of faith, the economy, science or global warming with my brother; no talk of being a respsonible man, husband and father by getting a job to support his family to my BIL who has not held a job in 10 years but is waiting to go be a missionary. There are others that I have witnessed to in the past that I've learned don't buy the BIble as God's inspired Word.
For the most part I have learned not to say anything to anybody. I used to be quite a vocal person having an opinion and sharing it all the while trying to be respectful and considerate of other people's opinions and viewpoints. There were times when I was outspoken on various topics: abortion, welfare, our legal system, politics, the liberal far left, cheating spouces and those that preached God's word but living a doublt life, etc. Now I don't talk to anyone unless needed and have very little to say. (other than my meager suggestions or advice in a few threads). I've learned that for the most part no one really cares what any of us think. As my husband says, "opinions are like "hind ends" we all have one and they all stink." Therefore, I avoid most topics and enjoy the quiet.
_____________________________
Allison
A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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RE: What Topics do you have to remain silent on? - 11/10/2009 1:31:10 PM
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mrf084
Posts: 247
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
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I remain a complete sceptic when it comes to my total understanding of any issue so remain willing to discuss all that I've had some experience with, some that I've had a little, and none that I'm am clueless about. That doesn't mean I won't drop in and listen. God can speak through any of us at anytime.
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