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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 1:33:27 PM
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BlessedMamaofmany
Posts: 1709
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Just north of nowhere
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I would NEVER say anything to someone who had only one child. I have friends who had one child (she's pregnant with #2!!! WOO HOO) and once we became good enough friends I asked if they wanted to have more children or were choosing not to. I asked out of genuine curiosity and not in a ''why haven't you had another child yet? What's wrong with you?" type way. It's just as rude and inappropriate to comment on someone's ''lack'' of kids as it is to comment on someone's ''excess'' of kids.
What do I think of those who choose only one child?
I think that's between them and God. Anything else I think about it is irrelevant. That's the fact. It's between them and God.
Sandy
_____________________________
Atheism: The belief that there was nothing, nothing happened to nothing, then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything, then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself into self-replicating bits that then turned into dinosaurs
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 2:09:09 PM
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WanderingLamb
Posts: 275
Joined: 11/10/2005
From: Western WA, USA
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I get that comment, "Boy you've got your hands full!" and I just respond, "Yep!" cuz I really do! (I have an 8 year old girl, a boy who's almost 3, and an 18-month old boy). Then maybe I tell them about my sister who had her 5 kids in 10 years!
< Message edited by WanderingLamb -- 11/6/2009 2:15:10 PM >
_____________________________
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I'm being brainwashed.
Romans 12:2
Ephesians 5:26
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 2:09:58 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 2645
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From: The EMPIRE state!
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The only thing that I think about when it comes to people with one child is how fleeting childhood is. Especially when they are going through different things like first teeth, starting school, first over nighter, camping trip, becoming a teen, starting high school, graduation, etc. The nice thing about having a lot of children is that you can enjoy all these things more than once, and we have longer to enjoy the childhood years. I find that my heart just aches for those with just one child (or two, close together) because I know that it would be very hard if it were me. IT just causes me to be more supportive when I have friends going through that.
< Message edited by Ellie-Mae -- 11/6/2009 2:17:05 PM >
_____________________________
"You can" makes no difference. "You will" changes the world.
~BillyBob Jones in Grey soon to be authored by Caleb (12) for NaNoWriMo
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 2:11:11 PM
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WanderingLamb
Posts: 275
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From: Western WA, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
The only thing that I think about when it comes to people is how fleeting childhood is. Especially when they are going through different things like first teeth, starting school, first over nighter, camping trip, becoming a teen, starting high school, graduation, etc. The nice thing about having a lot of children is that you can enjoy all these things more than once, and we have longer to enjoy the childhood years. I find that my heart just aches for those with just one child (or two, close together) because I know that it would be very hard if it were me. IT just causes me to be more supportive when I have friends going through that.
True, true!
_____________________________
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I'm being brainwashed.
Romans 12:2
Ephesians 5:26
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 2:44:08 PM
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Zhi
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Someone once asked my mother, who was holding my third sister (infant) while pregnant with my fourth sister, with my second sister and I toddling around her legs, "So how many kids did you plan to have?"
Mom just smiled and said, "One."
(It's true, they only planned the timing on me...)
I have two, and people ask me how many we plan on having anyway. :P I don't think it's family size, I think they just think it's an appropriate topic of random conversation, along the lines of "nice day, huh?" I generally say "two for now". That would of course change if I got pregnant, wouldn't it. ;)
Why, I dunno.
_____________________________
The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The engineer says the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 2:59:40 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3363
Joined: 4/12/2005
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My mom and dad both came from families identical to Sandy's. Five kids in 7 years, 2 girls, then 2 boys, then a baby girl.
I did once have a guy tell me "Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but let me give you some advice. Stop at two kids." He said it in front of his third child. The boy was a toddler, so maybe he didn't understand. But seriously....
One of my hubby's coworkers said that after 2 kids they used birth control, but didn't take "heroic measures" in his words. After the third kid, they took "heroic measures".
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 3:00:31 PM
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WanderingLamb
Posts: 275
Joined: 11/10/2005
From: Western WA, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zhi
Someone once asked my mother, who was holding my third sister (infant) while pregnant with my fourth sister, with my second sister and I toddling around her legs, "So how many kids did you plan to have?"
Mom just smiled and said, "One."
(It's true, they only planned the timing on me...)
I have two, and people ask me how many we plan on having anyway. :P I don't think it's family size, I think they just think it's an appropriate topic of random conversation, along the lines of "nice day, huh?" I generally say "two for now". That would of course change if I got pregnant, wouldn't it. ;)
Why, I dunno.
ha ha Good one!
I only planned to have zero! Then my daughter came along...then my first son...our second one is the only one we planned to have!
_____________________________
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I'm being brainwashed.
Romans 12:2
Ephesians 5:26
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 3:08:15 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3363
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
I find that my heart just aches for those with just one child (or two, close together) because I know that it would be very hard if it were me.
I had 2 in 21 months, and I am pretty sure we're done. I wasn't sure when my daughter was born, but I'm really, really sure now. I told dH I wanted to wait until her first birthday before we took permanent measures.
But you don't have to feel bad for me. A third child would be very hard for me to handle, and I look forward to joys and challenges of older children.
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 3:35:40 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 2645
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From: The EMPIRE state!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
I find that my heart just aches for those with just one child (or two, close together) because I know that it would be very hard if it were me.
I had 2 in 21 months, and I am pretty sure we're done. I wasn't sure when my daughter was born, but I'm really, really sure now. I told dH I wanted to wait until her first birthday before we took permanent measures.
But you don't have to feel bad for me. A third child would be very hard for me to handle, and I look forward to joys and challenges of older children.
But when they graduate, go to college, or whatever or if you find that you miss some aspect of thier childhood that is now in the past. I would cry with you. But I would never tell you that you should have had more. I just love childhood whether or not it is my kids or someone elses kids. I would be happy to have 20 kids if that was God's plan for us. I love all the different stages of my children's childhood. I do realize that some people don't feel the same way and seem to just go with the flow of time without much difficulty. I am not one of those people though.
I have a friend that just sent her daughter off to college. I have always een amazed that she didn't have more kids because the just LOVE children. They poured their lives into their daughter. The mom was so emotional during the last summer before college. They are very content with their decision. It just hurts when they hit those different mile stones. I pray for them often because I love them and ache with them.
_____________________________
"You can" makes no difference. "You will" changes the world.
~BillyBob Jones in Grey soon to be authored by Caleb (12) for NaNoWriMo
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 6:05:18 PM
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Narcil
Posts: 50
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: San Diego, CA
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My wife and I have six boys, and we get the "are you done yet?" comment, and the "you do know how those things are made, right?" comment all the time.
When asked if we're done I always just look at the person and say, "No," to which they always say, "Oh, you're going for a girl, right?" To which I always respond, "Not really." Then comes the interesting part - if the questioner is a woman they kind of laugh nervously and don't know what to say, if the questioner is a man he nearly always says, "Hey, that's great!" I've found that men generally seem to be far more supportive of other people having lots of children.
When asked if I know how babies are made I always have to fight the temptation to say, "Yes, would like me to explain it to you? It's a lot of fun."
_____________________________
"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all. But whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess." - Martin Luther
My blog: Here
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 6:06:06 PM
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kohls356
Posts: 642
Joined: 8/22/2007
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I enjoyed each phase of childhood when my children were going through them. I didn't mind getting up in the middle of the night and the potty training etc. that goes with having little ones, but I don't miss it and would not want to be doing that again. I will have a moment of looking back and think how sweet it was and for a split second be a little nostaligic, but I am not crying about it. I have one in her second year of college and two in high school. I am looking forward to the next phases of them getting married and starting their own families.
I don't mean this in a snarky way but I hope there aren't people feeling sorry for me because I didn't have more children to experience the same phases more times than 3. I would feel bad that someone was sad for me when I am completely happy with our family.
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 8:29:58 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1652
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
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I still like my very modest, very quiet Mennonite friend's response to being asked in the mall by a stranger "Are these all yours? You do know what causes that right?"
Her response "Yes...and we happen to enjoy it very much..and often."
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 8:53:04 PM
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Krislynx
Posts: 667
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quote:
ORIGINAL: W.O.F.
I still like my very modest, very quiet Mennonite friend's response to being asked in the mall by a stranger "Are these all yours? You do know what causes that right?"
Her response "Yes...and we happen to enjoy it very much..and often."
I'd love to have seen that stranger's face! Not the answer people expect, especially not from a nice, quiet Mennonite lady.
Kris
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 9:31:37 PM
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NotDoneYet
Posts: 209
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Virginia
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I must be the odd duck out...I truly wish I had more. I birthed 3, and have raised in some form or another 11 kids total. I would have LOVED to have had more children. But, life is what happens when you're making other plans. We are discussing doing foster care (teens) when the boys finally grow up and move out.
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Remember, normal is just a setting on the dryer!
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 9:56:57 PM
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Homegrownkids
Posts: 887
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we happen to have a man in our church that when the opportunity arrises he tells my husband that one of us should get fixed. I think it is rude but just don't know what to tell him. He is the type of guy that is always "right".
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God heals!
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RE: What do you say about your family size? - 11/6/2009 9:59:58 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2625
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Tell him you don't need to get "fixed" because you are not "broken."
I don't even have a problem with tubals or vascectomies, but the term "getting fixed" annoys me. We are not dogs and cats.
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Wizard's rule #1 .People can be stupid and willfully deceived (that's from the book, not the show)..slightly edited for CW
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