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a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/11/2009 9:55:12 AM
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Paytonzane
Posts: 5
Joined: 11/11/2009
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Listen...i just recently told my dad about a pornography issue i have, and he said it might be a good idea to come on this site and talk to others about it....
i need advice....encouragement...ANYTHING USEFUL!!!!!!
< Message edited by Paytonzane -- 11/12/2009 5:37:07 PM >
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/11/2009 10:02:22 AM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 10998
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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Moving this from Xtreme Teens to Men Only.
Thanks!
Tricia
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/11/2009 10:30:40 AM
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PastorSteveMT
Posts: 109
Joined: 5/27/2009
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You should be able to find a lot of information in several of the porn threads already but I'll state mine again.
Get a porn filter/accountability software such as Safe-Eyes. It's like $49 a year. And it's imporant that you get a software that has accountability reporting. A filter alone is often not usefull as I have personal experience with. There is just something that changes in you when you know that someone is litterally seeing everything you are doing online. It's a wonderful release actually.
Get accountability partners in your life. With the software, you assign people as your partners and they can view your history at any time, but also have people you can talk to helps for sure.
Let me tell you, I first looked at porn when I was about 7 or 8 years old and it has been a down fall of mine ever since. But never, since my late teens and adult life have I experienced the sense of victory that comes with accountability. Since installing safe eyes, praise the Lord I've been clean and the desire for it has deminished greatly. It's hard to explain. I won't be so cavalier as to state that I have total victory, because the temptation is still there from time to time. Plus, if I claim victory, to me I would be putting my guard down and I don't want to do that.
This is something that I'm not sure anyone can really get lifelong victory from without help (although I'm sure there are a few exceptions) when it has been a big part of your life through teen and adulthood, so you need all the help you can get.
God bless you brother. Don't wait and hope you will beat it. You won't. Get the help you need. Get the filters and software you need. Get accountability. And GET IN THE WORD. Getting closer to God has helped the craving of it deminish greatly.
< Message edited by PastorSteveMT -- 11/11/2009 10:37:18 AM >
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/11/2009 10:40:00 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 3808
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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Hi Payton, welcome to the forums.
Tell us a little about your self. It may help with the specifics.
I applaud you for the humility in talking to your dad. That was a HUGE first step in the right direction.
First off, remember that no matter if you fall or not, God does not reject you. He may discipline you but He has promised to always be there for us: "I will never leave you or forsake you" Jesus told us all.
Secondly, you need another guy to ask you hard questions (which you need to answer truthfully) on a frequent basis and hold you accountable to your commitment to extract yourself from this addiction. (porn can be as addictive as cocaine)
Thirdly, you did not get to this point in a day, so don't expect that you will be instantly liberated from this mess. God does do that sometimes, but not very often. Take it a day at a time, step by step. Don't beat yourself up (too badly anyway) if/when you slip up. Just repent again and keep going. DON'T GIVE UP!!!
_____________________________
Avatar is my daughter Laura and SIL David on their wedding 9/20/09 ====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/11/2009 12:08:02 PM
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Paytonzane
Posts: 5
Joined: 11/11/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
Hi Payton, welcome to the forums.
Tell us a little about your self. It may help with the specifics.
I applaud you for the humility in talking to your dad. That was a HUGE first step in the right direction.
First off, remember that no matter if you fall or not, God does not reject you. He may discipline you but He has promised to always be there for us: "I will never leave you or forsake you" Jesus told us all.
Secondly, you need another guy to ask you hard questions (which you need to answer truthfully) on a frequent basis and hold you accountable to your commitment to extract yourself from this addiction. (porn can be as addictive as cocaine)
Thirdly, you did not get to this point in a day, so don't expect that you will be instantly liberated from this mess. God does do that sometimes, but not very often. Take it a day at a time, step by step. Don't beat yourself up (too badly anyway) if/when you slip up. Just repent again and keep going. DON'T GIVE UP!!!
well, im thirteen, i spend a lot of time on the computer, which is where ive been getting the stuff from....my dad said he will set up a filter so i cant look at it anymore, so im covered their......ive been in porn for a long while now, and i tried quiting a few months back, but by the next week i was back to porn, and i had lied to myself "its a guy thing, as long as i dont have sex with anyone im fine" but id forgoten about lust.....i just went to a retreat call the "love, sex, and dating retreat" at a place called "Look up lodge" in SC, and they talked about it their and i decided to tell my dad then when i got home. Im gonna talk to my pastor and see if he can help some too......
well, thats my story so far, besides the fact my dad said it would be a good idea to come on this forum and talk about it to others......
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/11/2009 4:00:38 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 3808
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: offline
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Good steps.
Have you talked to your dad about the masturbation issue yet? After all, porn is never JUST porn, now is it?
_____________________________
Avatar is my daughter Laura and SIL David on their wedding 9/20/09 ====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/12/2009 5:30:18 PM
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Paytonzane
Posts: 5
Joined: 11/11/2009
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i think he knows, but ill ask him about it when i get a chance
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TobyMac and Andrew Peterson=WIN!!!!!!!!!!!
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/12/2009 7:56:28 PM
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Microbio
Posts: 10
Joined: 11/10/2009
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Romans 12
New International Version
Living Sacrifices
1) Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2) Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
watch this video. If My Words Abide in You - John Piper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOkLP6VHtWk
< Message edited by Microbio -- 11/12/2009 8:09:49 PM >
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/12/2009 8:00:21 PM
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Microbio
Posts: 10
Joined: 11/10/2009
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May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3: 16-19
Fight your sin...for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. 1 John 5:4-5
Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.
Many people, when they hear an expression in the Bible like, "Abide in Christ," do not readily understand what it means. If a person abides in his house, he stays there. If one abides by the decision of the judge, he obeys the judge. In John 15:7, the phrase would mean to "remain stable" or "fixed in one�s state."
In John 15:7, Jesus is saying, if we live as He does by keeping His words, then our prayers will certainly be answered. If we say we abide in Him, we also ought to live in the same manner as Jesus lived or walked (1 John 2:6). Jesus was constantly doing things that were pleasing in the Father�s sight (John 8:29). When we live this Way, we are assured of having our prayers answered (1 John 3:22).
Living to please the Father daily is easy and pleasant (Matt. 11:30). It does not take a great deal of intelligence, but we must have the attitude of a child to live God�s Way of life (Matt. 18:4; Mark 10:15; Luke 18:17; 1 Cor. 1:26-28).
God-fearing parents would train their children not to swear, lie, steal or cheat. Instead, they would train their children to get involved in doing good things and to continue to do good, overcoming evil by doing good. God wants the same (Rom. 12:21). Our heavenly Father wants us to do the same so He can bless us instead of send curses on us daily (Heb. 12:5-11; Acts 3:26).
We are, by nature, children of wrath (Eph. 2:3). But we come out from under the wrath of God when we become obedient to Christ (John 3:36). Unless we are abiding in Christ daily by practicing righteousness for God, we are all being held captive to do Satan�s will (2 Tim. 2:26). If we are not abiding in Christ, we are doing Satan�s will. But if we are overcoming evil by doing God�s Will daily on earth as it is constantly being done in heaven, we are abiding in Christ (Matt. 6:10). Doing God�s Will is doing good works and this is how we abide in Christ (John 9:31; 1 John 2:17).
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/13/2009 9:12:38 AM
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Tarox
Posts: 274
Joined: 2/18/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Paytonzane
well, im thirteen, i spend a lot of time on the computer, which is where ive been getting the stuff from....my dad said he will set up a filter so i cant look at it anymore, so im covered their......ive been in porn for a long while now, and i tried quiting a few months back, but by the next week i was back to porn, and i had lied to myself "its a guy thing, as long as i dont have sex with anyone im fine" but id forgoten about lust.....i just went to a retreat call the "love, sex, and dating retreat" at a place called "Look up lodge" in SC, and they talked about it their and i decided to tell my dad then when i got home. Im gonna talk to my pastor and see if he can help some too......
well, thats my story so far, besides the fact my dad said it would be a good idea to come on this forum and talk about it to others......
All the advice they've given you so far is spot on. You're in a great position to beat this.
My wife and I got married recently, after making it through dating/engagement without having sex, and after I'd been fighting with porn for years. There may be times when it won't seem like it, but this fight is winnable.
And there will be times when you won't feel like it, but man, you ROCK. Holy cow! You told your DAD! That's amazing man! Imagine what that situation is like for God: you're stuck in sin, but you choose to turn to your father, the biological representation of God's role in your life, you chose to deal with it Biblically and seek help instead of keeping up the sin because of how it feels. I wish I could throw you a party man. Obedience, trust, turning away from sin... those are things that God loves for us to do and be. He has blessed you with the capacity to do that, and I'm so glad he did.
You sin, and that stinks, and you definitely need to stay committed to stoping. Never think you're good enough to beat it by yourself. But some of the most dangerous things about porn are the isolation, the beating yourself up, the way it can just make you hate yourself so much. I just want you to know that when that sneaks in, you have the right to be real with yourself and rejoice at how God has made you and blessed you. He loves you and who you are the same way he loves Jesus, and that's serious. Go brother! Don't let it take another moment of your time and run! If you fall, remember how much He loves to see you stand up and keep going.
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/14/2009 1:27:51 PM
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terryjohn
Posts: 315
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
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A brave man will trust in his own will to beat that which is more than flesh and blood. Literally, we do not war against flesh and blood. Here I am convinced that sin is more than works of evil but in reality is in the motivation for such works. Not surprisingly Christ says even if you look upon a woman with lust in your heart you are guilty of adultery. Even if you are single and not married.
The issue as with the solution is not in will power for Christ says that we shall be set free through the renewing or our minds and all this is a consequence of knowing the truth or more importantly knowing Christ.
Now if a man can starve himself to death for some foolish reason, he may well think he can resist lust, but it will be a long and painful struggle. Here however, I am a believer in the power of the truth in redeeming men from the curse.
The first thing I want to tell you is that, when I was young, I fell in love with a beautiful christian girl, I was not a christian, and my love for her changed my life. I never spoke to her, never wanted to married her and she never knew of my love for her, but I could never have dishonoured her and my love for her by lusting after her. This love I then found in Chirst and here is the power to be set free for Christ himself says, if you love me you will keep my commandments or do as I have commanded. That is it is not thourgh sheer will power that we resist evil but through our love that we cannot begin to contemplate those things that would be our shame.
It may well appear wise in setting up barriers to fence sin out but the problem is not out there but within us.
Let your mind then be transformed by the love of Christ. The problem with porn is that we men simply do not love women enough for if we did we could not defile ourselves and tolerate women being dishonoured in such ways.
Fall in love and be transformed and you will be set free to love your sisters in Christ as Christ himself has loved them.
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/17/2009 11:02:01 AM
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rayofson
Posts: 10247
Joined: 4/11/2005
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No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
1 Corinthians 10:13
_____________________________
Please don't feed the Ogre.
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RE: a problem i have(GUYS ONLY PLEASE!!!) - 11/17/2009 3:49:47 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2363
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
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Since there is a already an ongoing discussion about this topic HERE I am closing this thread.
Please do not reply to this message within the Community.
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trainfan
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Disappoints are inevitable, discouragment is a choice.
Dr. Charles Stanley.
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