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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/6/2008 1:21:51 AM
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PinkCarnations
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Melissa- There have been women talking about the election in the kicka thread who have the same fears. I don't like how the election went either. Every time I've been afraid, I've somehow been reminded that God is still on the throne.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/6/2008 5:43:45 AM
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agapetos
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Maggie ~ re your son...
I know that it must seem hard for him to not be able to work full time but... encourage him to remember that this company did want him despite him being ill and wanted to help him ~ this company won't be the only one in the world like that, but it shows that he's not unemployable (which is the way many people with mental health problems feel and/or are treated). Also, it's good that he's been able to recognise his limitations at this time. Again, there are many who would expect to be able to do such and such because they did it before.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/6/2008 5:45:14 AM
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PinkCarnations
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Good points aga. Nice to see ya around.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/7/2008 11:45:14 AM
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PinkCarnations
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I go see my pdoc in a few hours. I'm not looking forward to it. The first thing she usually does is have me get on the scale. I have not been obeying my diet these last few weeks. My niece and my sister have both had birthdays and I've used that as an excuse to eat and eat and eat -- the wrong things. I don't want to see the numbers and I don't want to hear her lecture me about how I need to loose weight.
Two months ago I was at 201.5 and last month I was at 191. I hope I didn't break the 200 mark again. My goal is to be down to 140 by my 45th birthday, which will be January 2010. I realize that only breaks down to less than 5 lbs a month, but I figure that if I set my goals too high, then I'll be setting myself up for disappointment. Also, if there are months where I do obey my diet and I either don't loose anything or I gain.
I go see my therapist on Monday. I have "homework" to give her. I may give it to her today since she is in the same building as my pdoc. That way she'll have a chance to read it before our session, if she so chooses. She also wants me to bring in some of the short stories that I've written. She says that I am much better able to express myself with writing than with talking. That is true most of the time.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/7/2008 2:18:30 PM
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MyCatSmokey2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Roberta_
I go see my pdoc in a few hours. I'm not looking forward to it. The first thing she usually does is have me get on the scale. I have not been obeying my diet these last few weeks. My niece and my sister have both had birthdays and I've used that as an excuse to eat and eat and eat -- the wrong things. I don't want to see the numbers and I don't want to hear her lecture me about how I need to loose weight.
Two months ago I was at 201.5 and last month I was at 191. I hope I didn't break the 200 mark again. My goal is to be down to 140 by my 45th birthday, which will be January 2010. I realize that only breaks down to less than 5 lbs a month, but I figure that if I set my goals too high, then I'll be setting myself up for disappointment. Also, if there are months where I do obey my diet and I either don't loose anything or I gain.
I go see my therapist on Monday. I have "homework" to give her. I may give it to her today since she is in the same building as my pdoc. That way she'll have a chance to read it before our session, if she so chooses. She also wants me to bring in some of the short stories that I've written. She says that I am much better able to express myself with writing than with talking. That is true most of the time.
Roberta, you sound like you could be my twin! We're about the same age, we battle weight problems and we both write better than we speak. We also see a pdoc and therapist for psych issues. I wonder if we're related somehow? 
Seriously though, I totally understand the weight issue, because I'm battling it myself. I've been hovering around 200 lbs for about six months or more, sometimes going under it and usually am over it. Right now, I'm battling seasonal affective disorder, which makes me want to eat more high sugar/carb foods and feel like I don't care anymore about my weight. Last night, I was even asking God about why was I even born, seeing all the trouble I've had in my life? I feel like such a failure with my weight loss efforts, it just seems like too much to handle right now.
To make it worse, an unemployed relative will be staying with us during the holiday season and it gets very stressful when she's around. I get very stressed out during the holiday season anyway and when company is here, it gets worse. My elderly relative's worsening health issues only add to the stress. 
I saw my therapist yesterday and will be seeing my pdoc on Monday to talk with her about these issues and get my meds adjusted again, since these moods swings have been getting worse these past few months. Please pray for me to be able to articulate to my pdoc the need for medication adjustment WITHOUT going into the hospital, as my family needs me to be at home right now. If she recommends a partial/day hospitalization program, where I attend group therapy during the day and go home at night, that'll be okay.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2008 2:23:03 AM
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PinkCarnations
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Melissa - I think we could be twins! I wonder if we should ask our moms if it's possible. 
I do understand much of where you're coming from, especially about the weight and staying out of the hospital.
I posted how my day went in my blog.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2008 8:14:15 AM
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MrsTracy72
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Roberta, You got homework? What did your T give to you? I have a workbook and one thing that is helping me, is that while most of the questions are things that I need to think through and decide for myself, there are alot of self evaluations and I have my hubby do those too not only so that I can have a different perspective, but so that I know what he is thinking and seeing, and we can deal with that together.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2008 7:31:59 PM
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PinkCarnations
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Tracy - that is basically what these forms are.
Even though the doctor's visit was overall good, something has set in. There is a medication that I became addicted to. She was slowly weaning me off of it. Yesterday she cut my prescription in half. The next step is that I will be off of them for good. That won't happen for a few months yet. This is a good thing. However, today I've had time to think about how I feel about being with out the medication. The best word to describe how I feel is TERRIFIED!
Yesterday I was excited about it. Today I've cried and paced about it. Maybe I'll journal about it and dedicate a short story to the med.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2008 11:19:03 PM
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desert_rose
Posts: 533
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Roberta and Melissa - I could be your younger sister, since I have weight issues, write better than I speak and I'm 39.
I've been reading and praying about all of you. I just haven't been posting since it's continued being more of the same. Things at home have escalated though and I can clearly see what my providers have been saying about my husband, his behaviors, my PTSD and my mood stability. What happened was I intercepted all past due medical bills during last month and ended up re-reporting him to the Social Security Office of the Investigator General (OIG)because there were almost $1000 in bills, most dating to AT LEAST July, 2 in collections and one going all the way to JANUARY. Plus there's a newspaper bill in collections, a cable bill in collections and the cell phone and land line bills are both constantly a month behind. A designated payee is NOT supposed to be damaging my credit. He's also not supposed to have the trustee account attached to PayPal or be using it to buy hundreds of dollars in ham radio gear for himself. So the OIG reopened the investigation he'd presumed closed and he's been a problem because finding this out seriously peeved him. He's done something - twice - that I now know can be reported. Plus next week I see my pdoc and tdoc about documenting my mood and (again) documenting for Social Security that I don't need a payee. I'll also be working with my tdoc to find a place to go that doesn't require me to provide everything for myself (including my own food like the last shelter did). If I'm lucky, I'll also make the legal clinic this week. It's just been so hard doing anything since he monitors my calls (at least who I call & who calls me), where I go and he tightly controls my money (including anything I get outside my SSDI, such as payment for doing surveys)... And this to various degrees has been going on for YEARS. So even I'm tired of this.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2008 11:21:44 PM
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PinkCarnations
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((((WIC)))) still praying for you!
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2008 9:32:16 AM
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magdaleine
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{{{{{{{{womaninchrist}}}}}}}} Good for you for standing up to his abuse!
Limulus, how are you doing?
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/11/2008 5:55:36 AM
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PinkCarnations
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I met with my therapist today. It was not a pleasant meeting. I came face to face with some things that I really didn't want to deal with.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 9:41:25 AM
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Limulus
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Doing really really bad emotionally. My friend that I let back into my life hurt me beyond words can say. I am attempting to find a new therapist and someone who specializes in diagnosing bipolar. I had a recent encounter while on vacation with a very good psychiatrist, however, he does not work in my home town.
So I am asking prayer for the following:
-for God to give me peace (I am hurting so much)
-for the encouragement to resist falling back into alcohol
-for the encouragement to be active in my church and the celebrate recovery group
-that God would help me to continually forgive and to not be bitter
-that God would keep abusive people out of my life or something along those lines (God knows)
-the strength to make it through this day :(
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 9:43:07 AM
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Limulus
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quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
{{{{{{{{womaninchrist}}}}}}}} Good for you for standing up to his abuse!
Limulus, how are you doing?
Having a rough time. :(
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 10:53:37 AM
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-Justyna-
Posts: 1922
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: Northampton, U.K.
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Hello, I am sort of new here on the board and this is my first time on this thread. I must say I thank God for it and I am having a great time reading all the comments here. It has really encouraged me. I was diagnosed with major depression about 6 years ago in which case I started taking Porzac. I was only 21 then and I believe that year was hard for me because there was a lot going on in my life at the time. It was a spiritual attach on me from the enemy really looking back on it. At any rate I stopped taking the medications becasue I did not believe that Christians should be on meds. Boy was I wrong. It has been a very interesting past 6 years. God has really shown me that medication is for His children if we really do need them. Much of the past few years I have gone untreated and I have been doing okay with Gods help and grace. However, at the end of 2006 I had another major depression espisode and I had to go to the hospital. I have been taking medications since but I am afraid they have misdiagnosed me. Please pray Gods hand on all this. Some doctors have said I had bipolar ( I dont believe this is the case) some have called me schizoid affective disorder (This does not sound like me either). It has been a long and painful battle. I have been getting treated in America where I live but am in the United Kingdom at the present moment and have seen a doctor here. He wants to see all of my charts and give me a second opinon. Please pray I can release my records from America and get them over her to the U.K. to be evaluated again. The doctor did say that just from what I told him, it sounds like I had AGGITATED DEPRESSON...being something TRIGGERED an episode that had me spiral down. Whatever the case, I am praying this time things will be different. I now believe in medication and do not look down upon people who take them. My undergraduate degree is in Psychology so I understand the basics. Please pray the doctors can diagnois me properly and give me the correct medications..better yet please pray God would heal me completley of all depression and all illnesses.
On top of all this I have experienced major weight gain from the wrong medications I have been taking. The new doctor is getting me off of them but its been like 40lbs in the past two years or so. Thats a lot if you ask me. It only depresses me more.
Overall I am doing okay and very hopeful God will put and end to this misery I have faced the past 7 years or so. Please pray and thank you for your support. I really need it. This is hard to talk about and hard to deal with. I will be around =)
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 10:59:42 AM
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PinkCarnations
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Hi all.consuming.fire and welcome to the boards! I'm glad you found us.
Lim- still praying for you.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 11:47:41 AM
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-Justyna-
Posts: 1922
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: Northampton, U.K.
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Hi, and thank you for the welcome =). Yes I am trying to put the pieces of my life together again and its hard. I am glad I dont have to do it alone and have the support of this board and of course of God. I just really want to get it all right this time and get to the root of the matter. Living life without being treated is really hard and I really want to right medication to make me feel better. I wonder if I am ever going to be whole again the way I was BEFORE my first episode. I pray to God that I can be. I long for that time when I did not have to worry about all this. I long to be ME again....I really want them to get the medication right becasue waiting and waiting and being misdiagnosed it a long painful struggle. Its been so long since I felt like the old me...I want God to restore all that the enemy took from me.
Thank you for your suppor. =)
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 1:59:51 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4862
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Limulus, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Being hurt by a friend is beyond painful. I remember the day I got an e-mail from a friend. It was full of hate, condemnation and poison. I wanted to die, it hurt so much, and called a suicide line for help because I could not deal with the pain. {{{{{{{{Limulus}}}}}}}}
quote:
On top of all this I have experienced major weight gain from the wrong medications I have been taking. The new doctor is getting me off of them but its been like 40lbs in the past two years or so. Thats a lot if you ask me. It only depresses me more. I can empathize with that. I've been gaining weight like crazy, lately, and it really affects my attitude toward myself.
quote:
I wonder if I am ever going to be whole again the way I was BEFORE my first episode. I think one of the important things in mental health is to accept where we are at the moment. The "good old days" may never return and, truthfully, if we're dealing with the baggage surrounding our mental illnesses, when we are better, things should be different than before we were aware of our mental health problems. If we're always living in the past of how things used to be, we can't enjoy what we do have today, and we might miss a lot of good things about tomorrow because we're so busy looking at the past. I do hope you get some answers.
Edited to fix the hug.
< Message edited by magdaleine -- 11/13/2008 2:54:23 PM >
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 2:07:43 PM
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PinkCarnations
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quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
quote:
I wonder if I am ever going to be whole again the way I was BEFORE my first episode. I think one of the important things in mental health is to accept where we are at the moment. The "good old days" may never return and, truthfully, if we're dealing with the baggage surrounding our mental illnesses, when we are better, things should be different than before we were aware of our mental health problems. If we're always living in the past of how things used to be, we can't enjoy what we do have today, and we might miss a lot of good things about tomorrow because we're so busy looking at the past. I do hope you get some answers.
the good old days weren't always as good as we thought they were.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 9:04:55 PM
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MyCatSmokey2006
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all.consuming.fire, I can relate to what you're saying, having traveled down that road myself. I'm still learning not to live in the past and focus on the present. I was 19 going on 20 when I was first diagnosed with Major depression and was close to my state's drinking age. When I found out that I couldn't drink alcohol with my psych meds, I said to myself, well, I'm at the legal drinking age and if I can't drink alcohol with these meds, then I don't need the meds. It took me a long time to learn that I needed the meds more than the alcohol. I've been alcohol-free for 15 years this October, so I'm praising God!
As for the weight gain, that's how I got to over 300 lbs, with the Seraquel and other meds. I've lost weight since then, but still struggle with self-esteem issues. I'm just taking it one day at a time, trusting in God all the way.
I'll pray for you to get the medical records you need to get properly diagnosed and help dealing with symptoms. I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt, so I know a little of what you're going through. Just keep praying to God everyday and trust in Him!
Limulus, praying for you as you go through the rough times.
Roberta, magdaleine, womaninchrist and agapatos, how are you all doing?
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Comment on my blog at My Cat Post
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/13/2008 10:50:04 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4862
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Thanks for asking, Melissa. Agapetos wrote in her blog that she's ordered a new computer and should be back online more frequently in a couple of weeks.
I'm not sure how I'm doing. Yesterday I told my doctor I was doing well, but I slept pretty much all day today (and all last night) and think I won't have any trouble sleeping tonight either.
My second son's girlfriend is visiting from Germany for a month and staying with us. I'm really enjoying her time here. I feel no pressure of any sort to have the house a certain way or to be constantly fixing meals, so she's easy to have here. Plus, it has meant that there's been more activity in the house. Her best friend is often over and the two girls and my boys (three of them) have been doing a lot together. I absolutely love being in the midst of my boys enjoying themselves. Her presence has also helped my third son who's rather fragile at the moment with some severe mental health issues.
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