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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 10/31/2009 10:00:02 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16754
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Hello Everyone! Its been a little while since I've been here, but not too long though.
Maggie, I really hope that things go better for you and your son!
About my week: I was in bad shape on Monday and had gone to group on Monday night. I was quite rattled. By Tuesday morning, I had an anxiety attack and had to garner up the muster to even call in sick for work! 
Later that day, my work called saying that they were swamped and if I was feeling better if I could come in? I was feeling a little bit better and did just that. It did not help me in the long run though. By Thursday I was so short fused one of my coworkers asked me what was wrong? I then went into a rant about being stressed out and not even being able to have a sick day.
That night I was very worn out, but still made it to my cell group. A couple of people asked me if I was ok? And I was saying something to the effect that I would be ok. By the end of the night I was feeling much better, but that did not stop at least one other really wanting me to have group prayer because of how I looked when I first walked in.
By yesterday I was feeling quite a bit better but still had to work some today as well. I am feeling a little anxious right now too, but I do know that I will be ok, God provides.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 10/31/2009 10:01:40 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16754
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Oh yeah, btw, I learned Thursday night after Bible study that my father was admitted to the hospital as well.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 10/31/2009 10:04:58 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16754
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Thank you Melissa!
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 10/31/2009 10:22:09 PM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10819
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Well, I made it through the day. I decided to stick around and help with clean-up. We had so many stay after and help that we were home by 8:30ish. I was put in charge of the inflatables. There were three of them. The only one that I really had to watch out for was the sports one. That one the kids didn't actually go inside of, they just hit, kicked or threw balls at it. Most of the kids obeyed the rules. The ones who didn't only had to be reminded once.
DD is part of JAG (Jesus and Gloves.) They did Who I Am by Casting Crowns. THIS VIDEO is not our church, but it gives an idea of how it comes out with the white gloves and black lights. Pretty cool. Also, we aren't nearly as practiced as the group on youtube. I think our kids did very well considering that it was their first time performing it and they've only had 3 or so rehearsals. I did take a half hour break to go watch the performance.
Mentally I'm doing OK, but MY FEET HURT!!!!
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 10/31/2009 10:26:25 PM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10819
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Mike, I'm glad that you were able to call in sick when you needed too. Would they have given you a problem if you had refused to go in later in the day? I'm also glad to hear about the prayer. I'm sorry to hear about your father. I hope it's not too serious.
Melissa, good for you for standing your ground about the candy.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 10/31/2009 11:21:09 PM
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Bountiful
Posts: 794
Joined: 12/15/2008
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Melissa (without the cat) - My heart goes out to you. It's so hard when you are missing a loved one.
quote:
The whole session was like being in another country where we're not speaking the same language. He can't have a good relationship with me because I didn't help clean the house for the art sho or because I'm on my computer when he wants to talk (even though I drop what I'm doing to interact with him), and so on. So the discussion became about conflict resolution instead of simple relating. I sobbed through the entire time. It was truly a mess. One thing the psychologist pointed out to him was that when he clams up in anger, that divides instead of unites and though it's easier to just shut down, what he needs to do is engage with me in resolving the problem.
Maggie, it's really not uncommon when people who live together don't seem to speak the same language. I'm glad the tears came. Annoying, but healing.
quote:
He's seeing him again on Tuesday and will be at the office tomorrow (on Saturday!--does the guy never go home?) if we need to call him. So that's good.
Maybe somebody needs to get the doctor a doctor  (sorry, just my attempt at a little humor).
Wow! Things can really go from one extreme to another with Ds3 can't they? That's the nature of the illness, I guess. But I can understand how terribly draining it must be on you. You just barely get yourself tuned in to one thing and you have to make a complete change of direction mid-stream.
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I had a hard time going to sleep last night too--eventually cried myself to sleep. In addition to all the stress, etc., I think pms is kicking in which is probably making everything seem bigger than it really is.
Boy, it just keeps coming  .
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I stayed upstairs for the entire day--sleeping for a nice chunk of it. I was ready to go downstairs before the event was over but when I heard the voices down there, I decided I didn't want to be there. One guest (who we don't really know) seems to have made this the event of his day. He's been here for seven or eight hours (depending on whose account you listen to). He lives a number of hours away from the city, so I'm guessing that he drove in just for this and figures he may as well make a day of it. In connection to that, he's eaten way more than his share of the food that's been laid out, probably because this will be his only "meal" of the day. He's also been cornering all the other guests and engaging them in conversation. When he leaves, I'll feel free to go downstairs.
My goodness. Maybe God sent him to be a sort of comic relief on this hectic day 
Is all this art your husband's creation?
Melissa (with the cat) - You have sure been working hard on your yard the last while. You surely don't need to worry about exercise. Good idea to hide away from the trick or treaters.
Welcome Ginny; good to see you here.
Roberta, I'm glad you enjoyed the church/community party. No wonder your feet hurt! But it was sure nice that so many pitched in to help clean up after it was over.
Sorry you've had such a tough week Mike. Hope your dad is doing better soon.
Hi Harvey, agapetos, Manda, and Elizabeth.
Remember to put your clocks back an hour tonight. I love this time change; DO NOT like the one in the spring.
Blessings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 12:24:55 AM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/17/2009
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I had forgotten all about the time change, so thank you for the reminder. I suppose the worse that could have happened would have been that I would have made it to church in time for sunday school  .
I thank all of you for thinking of me on this day. I am actually looking forward to October being over with. It is a stressful month for me. It starts out well enough, my oldest son's birthday is the 6th and my youngest boy's birthday is the 5th. It kinda goes down hill from there though. October 17th is my deceased nephew's birthday. The 26th would have been my parents 65th wedding anniversary. Then today would have been mom's 84th birthday. As you can imagine, it is a difficult month. However, I did make it through today fairly well. I debated half the day whether or not I would go to the cemetary. I chose not to. But, not really because it is difficult to go to my mom's grave. More so because Matthew (nephew) is buried beside her. I posted last night that I don'treally grieve for mom, and that is true. Matthew is an entirely different story. He was more like my son than my nephew. I never expected him to die at such an early age to suicide. His death is the one I have a hard time dealing with. You would think after six years, I could come to terms. I don't know if I ever really will accept it.
Blessings to everyone. Thank you all for your kind words, they are appreciated more than you know.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 1:02:12 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4864
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
Can he delete posts from his blog? Probably. Why? I'm not understanding why it's so important to "prove" he's suicidal. We didn't have to last time. He'd be going to the same facility.
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Maggie, glad to hear that your son is doing better. Praying for you and your family. Thanks, Melissa.
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Except for two small snack size bars, I've stayed out of it. Good for you! I can't have chocolate so that solved that problem.
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Maggie, I really hope that things go better for you and your son! Thanks, Mike.
{{{{{{{{{{Mike}}}}}}}}} I'm sorry you've had such a difficult week.
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DD is part of JAG (Jesus and Gloves.) They did Who I Am by Casting Crowns. THIS VIDEO is not our church, but it gives an idea of how it comes out with the white gloves and black lights. That was cool! Thanks for sharing. I'm glad the event went well. My feet would be killing me.
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Maggie, it's really not uncommon when people who live together don't seem to speak the same language. True.
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I'm glad the tears came. Annoying, but healing. Would have been more healing had they not kept me from sleeping for a good part of the night! And they'd have been more welcome had I been alone in the house and been able to make all the noise I wanted with them. As it was, dh was beside me, sleeping and he's the last one I want to know when I'm crying.
quote:
Wow! Things can really go from one extreme to another with Ds3 can't they? That's the nature of the illness, I guess. But I can understand how terribly draining it must be on you. You just barely get yourself tuned in to one thing and you have to make a complete change of direction mid-stream. Let's say I'm earning my title of Mom. Yeah, we had days of sleeplessness, then days of non-stop sleeping and then a couple days of suicidal ideation and at least one attempt. I need a boring life for a while.
The man who wouldn't leave? He's coming back tomorrow. Oh joy!
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Is all this art your husband's creation? Yes, he paints using watercolours.
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Remember to put your clocks back an hour tonight. Thanks for the reminder!
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I did make it through today fairly well. I'm glad.
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Matthew is an entirely different story. He was more like my son than my nephew. I never expected him to die at such an early age to suicide. His death is the one I have a hard time dealing with. You would think after six years, I could come to terms. I don't know if I ever really will accept it. {{{{{{{{{Melissa}}}}}}}}}}}} Suicide is hard for those who remain.
Harvie, if I've misspelled your name, I'm sorry.
Well, I should be in bed but I just spent the last couple of hours zoning out in a Rummikub game online with some friends. We spent the entire time laughing, which I really needed. Despite having slept all afternoon, I don't think I'll have trouble sleeping tonight. I need to clean up my messes before going to bed. I've been polishing up the leftover artshow food--crackers, antepasto, brie, cranberry goat cheese and punch. Yummy stuff, all!
Poor dh was soooo tired by the end of the day. He invited the last two people remaining to stay for dinner. Not sure why he did that, except that we really like them. We've known the guy since he was a little kid in 1980--he'd been one of the Vietnamese boat people and we became very good friends with the entire family. But if dh was so tired, he should have not invited anyone to stay. So, what did he do? As soon as he was finished eating, and before one of our guests had finished, he was already collecting the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. Then he disappeared! Leaving us stranded--not that that was necessarily a bad thing but I think everyone else had had enough of entertaining and I didn't really want any. And the couple didn't want to leave until dh came back so they could properly say good-bye.
Did I mention all the chairs that have been stacked into our bedroom to make room downstairs? They're blocking the closet so whatever I wear to church in the morning is going to have to be something that I have lying about. I hope I can find something clean enough.
Hope you are all getting a good night's sleep.
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Maggie
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 10:04:31 AM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10819
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Good morning everyone! Maggie, if you go to my facebook page, you can see a video of how our church did with JAM, but the person who did it didn't get the JAG part of it done.
I'm off to church only because I have to meet a friend there, otherwise I'd just hang out here or read a book or enjoy the sunshine. I'm extremely tired today. When church is over, I may take a nap.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 12:01:25 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 569
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
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quote:
I debated half the day whether or not I would go to the cemetary. I chose not to. But, not really because it is difficult to go to my mom's grave. More so because Matthew (nephew) is buried beside her. I posted last night that I don'treally grieve for mom, and that is true. Matthew is an entirely different story. He was more like my son than my nephew. I never expected him to die at such an early age to suicide. His death is the one I have a hard time dealing with. You would think after six years, I could come to terms. I don't know if I ever really will accept it.
((Melissa)) It's hard enough to lose people older people who die peacefully. I'm sorry you had to deal with the loss of your nephew in such a way.
Mike, I'm sorry your employer couldn't allow you a single much-needed sick day. I hope your father's health improves.
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Well, I should be in bed but I just spent the last couple of hours zoning out in a Rummikub game online with some friends. We spent the entire time laughing, which I really needed.
It sounds as if you did need that, Maggie.
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The man who wouldn't leave? He's coming back tomorrow. Oh joy!
Can he be informed that the family has other plans?
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I don't think you need to 'prove' that he's suicidal, but I do think that his writings can show those involved in his care how he has been thinking. I know that I can often write things (when I'm at home) far better than I can sit and explain to someone (in an appointment) what is going through my mind.
Agree - I know that my mind sometimes goes blank when I get to the dr's office. It's been a long time since I've done this, but I used to bring written status updates/journals to my therapists office.
I am having difficulty adjusting to life here. Somehow, before my extended trip to NY, I didn't realize how much I disliked it here. Now I know. I also know it's my duty to be here, though, so I'll have to get used to it.
I posted a while back that I don't want anything from dh. I now realize that that isn't true. I've told him I really can't accept the way things are. He has laid out a plan for change that will take at least a year to even start and that will proceed at a pace that works for him. If I don't like it, I'm welcome to get on a plane and leave. I realize he's ill and is trying to protect himself from getting sicker. I have difficulty sympathizing, though, because he has been unwilling to seek any treatment that has any likelihood of being effective. He is supposed to see a new doctor next week, but he has scheduled cosmetic dental surgery for the day before the appointment, so I know he probably won't be able to keep the appointment. If he does keep it, he probably won't take the treatment seriously. And scheduling the cosmetic procedure for the day immediately prior just shows where it is on his list of priorities.
I can see from the prior paragraph that I need to get my attitude back in order. Somehow that was easier before I went to NY. I don't really know what changed.
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Elizabeth
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 12:17:36 PM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10819
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Praying for you Elizabeth. It sounds like you have a lot to process.
I made it to church. Stayed for about 3 minutes. Panic set in and I took off.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 12:26:39 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 569
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
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quote:
I made it to church. Stayed for about 3 minutes. Panic set in and I took off.
((Roberta))
Thanks for the prayers.
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Elizabeth
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 12:33:20 PM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10819
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Today was supposed to be my first day officially off of the klonopin. I'm not at all to be happy to still be taking it.
[edited by moderator]
< Message edited by Ps103 -- 11/1/2009 4:04:45 PM >
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 12:36:49 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 569
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From: Los Angeles
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Are you going to wait until you can get in to see a pdoc in January before stopping entirely?
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Elizabeth
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 12:56:11 PM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10819
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I don't know. I really don't want to wait that long.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 12:58:11 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 9776
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PinkCarnations
Today was supposed to be my first day officially off of the klonopin. I'm not at all to be happy to still be taking it.
I can understand your being unhappy about continuing to take it... but...
Roberta, people can set goals and targets for themselves about anything they want to achieve in their life (not just coming off their medication). The problem is they get very disappointed and angry when they set those goals and targets in stone (as you have). Life so often gets in the way of our goals and targets.
I have a friend who was planning on going into the church (to become an ordained minister). Her children were all at school and things were set in place. Then she found out she was expecting another baby. Not sure what her plans are now, but certainly they have changed.
My old pastor applied for college (to become a minister) and he, his wife, his church all were in agreement that the year he applied was the right time. He was turned down and told to reapply the following year. Everyone was in shock. The plans (when to start having a family) that he and his wife had were all going to have to change. However, a year later, he was accepted and changes in the course meant that he would qualify at the same time he would have had he started the previous year.
We can't always see what God's plan is for us. Perhaps we sometimes never can see what it is for us (because we can be terribly blind sometimes!).
Perhaps what you need to recognise is how far you have come over the past few years. You've taken some huge steps towards your own recovery. Even over the past 6 months or so, you've gone through a great deal (I'm thinking of your moving back to IN primarily). The recent death of your neighbour is also going to be affecting you emotionally.
It is good and (I believe right) to have goals and targets. We have to make sure that we allow for some flexibility in them and their timing though. There are just 2 months of this year left and then you'll be able to see the psychiatrist and with his (her?) support take the last step to getting off the meds.
< Message edited by agapetos -- 11/1/2009 8:27:30 PM >
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Stovie, Stovie, what am I going to do with you!
Maggie
September 09
My blog
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 4:05:48 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4864
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
I don't think you need to 'prove' that he's suicidal, but I do think that his writings can show those involved in his care how he has been thinking. Oh! Okay. Thanks for explaining.
quote:
I am having difficulty adjusting to life here. Somehow, before my extended trip to NY, I didn't realize how much I disliked it here. Now I know. I also know it's my duty to be here, though, so I'll have to get used to it....
I can see from the prior paragraph that I need to get my attitude back in order. Somehow that was easier before I went to NY. I don't really know what changed. Often we need to get out of a certain situation before we can see it objectively. It sounds to me like that's what happened when you went to New York. Now you're back and the vision gets clouded again. {{{{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}}}}
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I made it to church. Stayed for about 3 minutes. Panic set in and I took off. I've done that--not recently but I remember the period of time when I simply couldn't handle being there, even though I loved all the people.
Good post, Stovie!
I'm holed up in my bedroom again. It doesn't sound all that busy downstairs and I think I'm tired enough to sleep again (I think I slept from 8:00 this morning till about 1:00 this afternoon). Not sure how long I can resist.
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Maggie
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 8:11:32 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 9776
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From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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Roberta, just a thought, but do you think that your panic attack this morning had anything to do with the fact you decided to stop taking your medication for at least one day (not sure how many days you missed, your post said you were going to give it a try for a day or so)?
I know that I'm not on a lot of medication right now, but when I was, and forgot to take it, I'd know about it a few days later. I wonder if that's what has happened with you this morning?
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Stovie, Stovie, what am I going to do with you!
Maggie
September 09
My blog
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/1/2009 9:15:06 PM
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manda59
Posts: 8231
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PinkCarnations
I made it to church. Stayed for about 3 minutes. Panic set in and I took off.
Roberta,
I was just wondering why you took off instead of just perhaps going to the ladies loo and waiting till it passed (doing some deep breathing, focussing on one particular object, or whatever other coping mechanisms you've been taught), or going to sit in your car for a while and then going back in, or even grabbing someone for prayer?
Are you ashamed of your panic attacks perhaps? Because, if you are, there's no need. You're not the first person to have a panic attack, and you won't be the last either.
Perhaps next time you could try sticking around and doing something different, rather than what you've always done before. Sometimes it takes trying something new to beat it.
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"It is a serious stellar day when I agree with both Ruth and Manda." Surpassing Peace, November 2009
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