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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/1/2008 4:57:56 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5607
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From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
Maybe I wasn't as clear as I could have been, but my intention was just that it CAN happen and if Denim is feeling worse than before she restarted meds or getting a totally different reaction than she usually does to other versions or generics of Wellbutrin, it's worth contacting the prescribing doc - instead of letting it go on for weeks like my DH did. In theory it's something that shouldn't happen, but as my husband and I prove with our histories, for whatever reason it still does SOMETIMES and thus IF it does, it should be brought to the doc's attention. I totally agree, Roberta should speak with someone sooner rather than later, it was simply the fact that the discussion was moving into specific medications that was causing me concern.
I know that you and I have discussed reactions to meds before (though it seems like a long time ago) and we've both suffered weird reactions. Just because we suffer from them though doesn't mean that everyone will ~ and I know you weren't saying this, but some people will read 'Oh, she reacted that way, I'm going to react that way too!' and won't even try the meds ~ when it may perfectly well for them.
quote:
I'm hoping it does clear things up, I'm having one of my neuro days and that means sometimes I know or think I know what I'm saying and what comes out may - or may not - say anything clearly. I'm sorry you're not feeling on top form. I hope things pick up for you. Like Roberta, you've had your share of stress recently.
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Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/1/2008 5:45:36 PM
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DenimDiva
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I think we've all had our share of stresses lately.
I think that I will be signing off because I have to go to work (and I'm running late). I have made a decision that when I come to this thread (every time there is a new post) that I will pray for the people who've posted before me.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/1/2008 11:39:17 PM
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womaninchrist
Posts: 438
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quote:
I think we've all had our share of stresses lately.
I think that about says it all. Seems like at least most (if not all of us) have been stuck on a run where if it ain't one thing it's another.
Tomorrow, I hope to make some useful phone calls during - of all times - when DH is having a cardiac catherization. They're unsure but they suspect either he needs another stent or some work on his existing stent. But he insists we're "doing better" and is trying to weasel out of seeing a pdoc or tdoc. I put my foot down today. I told him a few things (out of the long list) that NEVER should have happened, that weren't allowed again, and that he needs to find out why he keeps reverting to said behaviors and stop it permanently or he's going to lose me permanently as I leave for my own safety (which I'm still planning to do anyway since he's making such a point of not keeping his word).
But on the bright side, I got two loads of laundry done and got mostly caught up on dishes. However, my body is making quite a point of that was too much for one day. My fever and I are going to bed soon.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/2/2008 7:31:57 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 740
Joined: 12/29/2006
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Hi everybody!! Sorry I haven't posted as much in here. My problems usually seem pretty mild compared to everybody else and so sometimes it is easier just not to post. I am generally around the board, just don't get into this thread everyday.
My update for today - today was not a good day. Even though people tell me that I seem to be happier and doing good, I can still generally tell on the inside that it is a fine balance and it won't take much to send me back into full depression. I had an issue with a student today and while it was nothing major, it did frustrate and upset me. Mainly because he ended up in the office and they called his father to talk with him before everything was said and done and that then looks bad on me. If I can't control my students and help them choose a better attitude and the office then has to call the father at work to deal with the child.... that reflects bad on me. I already have several other situations that are reflecting bad on me indirectly - I didn't need another one. So all said and done, I left school feeling more depressed than I have in a while. I am sure that it is a combination of things - homesickness, the knowledge that I will leave everybody here in 10 weeks (that is both happy and sad for me), physically not doing as well, and the fact that I am feeling again that I am bad teacher and wondering why I do this. My students are not helping me out much as they keep comparing me to all of the other teachers in the school and why I don't do all of the "fun" things that the other classes get to do. I also am not seeing very many signs that I have done a good job here- both academically with the students as well as spiritually and emotionally. Because I don't have any "fruit" to show for my work, it makes it harder. While my boss is not telling me that I am doing bad, he is also not saying much positive either (I have to remind myself though that encouragement is not one of his spiritual gifts - period.  ) All of this to say that I can tell that I am on the downward spiral into depression again and I don't like it.
I have been taking my medication faithfully and doing my devotions (3 days in a row!! That is a record for me over the past several months!!). I also didn't go out this evening when the rest of my housemates went out. I know that I needed several hours by myself as I have been around people for several weeks straight now. I love the fact that I have two new housemates for several weeks, but... for this introvert, it means two more people at the house that I have to deal with on a constant basis. So I have slept and spent lots of time on CW this evening - just relaxing. I have plenty of work I could/should be doing, but my mental health is more important than papers that need to be graded. I also have been getting some physical activity each day. Because there is now four of us in the house, we have to get a ride with a different person. To help out, we walk - usually about 1/2 mile - each morning to make it easier for them to pick us up. I realize that it is not a lot, but it is more than I would normally do- and it is every morning.
We were discussing reactions to medicines - I have about decided that I must have a random reaction to exercise. I have been walking almost every morning for the past 2 weeks. People always talk about feeling better after exercise and the endorphins it releases - I never feel that way. I am sure that some of it has to do with my asthma- I am working so hard to breath while walking that any extra energy I would be releasing is going to my lungs (doesn't matter if I take my inhaler though or not). But when people pick us up, I am tired and ready to stop for a while. I am enjoying getting to school earlier in the morning though. Having 10-15 mins to get myself organized in the morning has been very nice!!
Thanks for reading this!!! I have learned over the past year or so that being able to write out my thoughts/feeling helps to keep things in perspective. Plus, this way I can have somebody tell me that I am blowing things out of porportion or they actually make sense. Have a good evening!!
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/3/2008 1:53:31 AM
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DenimDiva
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Hi Beth- glad things are going well for you!
I have an appt. with my therapist tomorrow.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/3/2008 4:52:53 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 5607
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
Hi everybody!! Sorry I haven't posted as much in here. My problems usually seem pretty mild compared to everybody else and so sometimes it is easier just not to post. I am generally around the board, just don't get into this thread everyday. You may feel taht your problems aren't as major as everyone elses, but that makes them no less valid. There is no set requirement of how often you should post, it's whatever is best for you.
quote:
I never feel that way. (Regarding exercise). I've never really felt that way either ~ however it does help our physical health so it's important that we do it ~ and even if we don't get the 'feel good' factor, we can be pleased that we've done something!
Roberta ~ how are you feeling?
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/3/2008 11:55:09 AM
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DenimDiva
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From: CA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: agapetos
Roberta ~ how are you feeling?
Tired but good. How are you feeling?
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/3/2008 5:32:48 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 740
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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Does anybody else ever feel like they are in need of their own personal cheerleading section??? I am feeling even more down today. I did something wrong at school today and while it wasn't a big thing, it involved my boss and he reminded me in a low, sharp voice that I needed to do things differently. I just went and did it, but felt frustration with how things were handled and the fact that the reason why I was doing things wrong was because I end up being a babysiting service afterschool and can't get my own work done. After everything yesterday, I really didn't need another reminder that I am not perfect and that I just continue to give things to my boss to use against me when he feels out references for my job applications. (I have no choice but to use him though since I have to have so many professional references and since this is my first teaching position, I don't have enough as it is.) Again, I am probably blowing everything out of proportion and it is so hard to figure him out at times. However, usually he doesn't say anything unless there is a serious problem - and I expected to have to meet with him all day today about yesterday and nothing happened. So more than likely I was about the 5th person in a row who didn't do something correctly and he had had a day of it. But when emotionally I am already struggling with my position at the school and feeling like I am not doing a good job, I didn't need another mistake to add to the list of reasons for them to give me a bad reference. I just have no way of knowing what he is thinking since encouragement is not his gift and he rarely says that you are doing a good job - unless it is in a meeting where he has to list your strengths and weaknesses. And I am more sensitive to this since words of encouragment is my love language. I have yet to figure out what his love language is. I would like to since it would help our relationship. I could then see when he does express "love" and use that towards my encouragement instead of sitting here pretty much in tears because I am worried about what he thinks of me now.
I would even take some words of encouragment from people back home right now. It has been several months since I sent out a prayer letter (and I have a good reason for not having done so as I am waiting on word about something at school) but I have heard from very few people - not even close family and friends. About the only people I talk to from home is my imediate family and occassionaly my pastor. It is hard enough being on the mission field - but when you start to wonder if everybody back home has forgotten you, it becomes even more lonely and difficult. I just need to hear that "I see that you are trying and I appreciate that." Even that would be enough to get me through for a few more weeks.
The ironic thing is I spoke to the 3rd-6th graders last week in chapel about giving up and encouraging each other to stay strong in the race. I walked through "The Hall of Faith" in Heb. 11 and how all of those people kept going even when they didn't have anything except faith to go on. But then I look at my own life and I feel like I don't have that faith. I can't take another step right now. I don't know where I am going and I don't have the faith to keep going at the moment. Even knowing that all of those people have gone before me isn't giving me much strength right now.
I heard part of a sermon the other evening on Isa. 40 where the writer talks about soaring on wings of eagles, running and not growing weary and walking and not fainting. The preacher talked about the different ways that birds fly. They can fly like the hummingbird - flapping their wings really fast, but not getting anywhere (this is me right now!!!!!!!!), jumping off of something and then flapping occassionly - but eventually the bird ends up on the ground. The third way was the eagle - he finds the air stream and soars. When he loses that one, he finds another one and keeps soaring - the eagle doesn't have to do anything to stay there. God has already provided the way to stay in the air. I want to be the eagle- flying without having to work. Soaring about the problems and when that stream ends, allowing God to lead me to the next stream where I can soar again. However, I am the hummingbird working as hard as I can to simply stay in the air and I am getting nowhere. I am getting tired. I look at the eagle and I want to be like that, but I have no idea how to get there.
So as you can see, I know sort of where I need to be headed, but I have no idea how to get there. All I know is that I am slipping more and more each day/hour and this is not good. I need to live what I preach to my kids (I preached Phil. 4:8 to them today) but it seems to take more energy and strength than I have right now to think positive thoughts. I can't seem to find much to be positive about right now. Even 70 some more days in the country isn't helping much as it means I have lots I have to get done both here and to get ready to move back to the states. The main thing is that it is only 70 more days until I see my parents and siblings - I am excited about that!!!!!!!
Okay- I need to go finish getting ready. Today is one of my housemates' birthday and we are going out to celebrate. It is probably a good thing since I probably shouldn't be allowed to be by myself tonight with my thoughts the way they are. I meet with my prayer partner tomorrow and I will share some of this with her - obviously not the fact that I was frustrated with her husband today though Thanks for reading this!!! You are my encouragement right now. Even just writing all of this out has helped.
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/4/2008 4:49:10 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
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From: CA
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Beth- you are an awesome woman of God!!
We all make mistakes. We notice our mistakes more than others do and we remember them longer than others do.
((((((((hugs)))))))))
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/4/2008 10:22:49 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 740
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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Thanks Roberta!!!
Today was better overall. I met with my accountablity partner, though I ended up not sharing everything with her. The timing/setting just wasn't right for it. I did go to the young adults meeting tonight at church. I hadn't been since last June for various reasons and I was nervous about going tonight. However, I really enjoyed it and it was encouraging to me. I am going to have a relaxing weekend and work on recharging my introvert batteries. I had a quick recharge earlier in the week, but I need a full recharge to be able to keep going. Have a good weekend!!
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/7/2008 3:57:05 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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Just checking to see how everyone is doing?
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/7/2008 4:55:46 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 740
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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Hey everybody!!! My computer is causing me problems so I may not be around for a few days. I will try to check in when I can.
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/9/2008 1:02:41 AM
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womaninchrist
Posts: 438
Joined: 4/14/2005
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Hi. Sorry I haven't been around. My husband had a reaction to something - either a med given during his surgery or to an antibiotic his dentist gave him and/or to a new detergent. Plus he got an infection at his IV site. All that after his cardiac catherization that involved multiple angioplasties and anoher stent (had I mentioned this part before?). Plus I got sick. GI stuff is behaving, it's the fever and joint pains again - and they're bad. Saw a different doc who doesn't normally work at the clinic. Apparently, this fever and joint pains bit that the docs haven't been able to figure out is a rather textbook match to some autoimmune stuff and particularly to psoriatic and rheumatoid arthritis. So the doc did some of the initial blood work (like RA factor and ANA) and is requesting an ASAP referral to a rheumatologist. And yet again, my chart has been flagged for examples of things done wrong at the clinic.  On the bright side, I finally got the money from my Mom and Aunt today (now to just get to the bank to deposit it) and I've qualified for a good discount with a major supplier of dog equipment because of my self trained service dog (with the discount good for two years). So it's not ALL bad news, there's some very good news mixed in all the mess.
I hope all of you are well. I've been thinking and praying of the people here.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/11/2008 2:09:52 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1747
Joined: 2/28/2007
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Hi you guys! It has been a while since I have been here, but I have been having a very rough time lately. All this messing with my meds and the dosing along with other personal things was just a bit too much. Yesterday, I called my psych doc and begged him for help sleeping. He gave me a drug that I have been saying no to for a year but while on the phone with him, I was like "whatever, just make me sleep"
So I picked it up and I took the dosage he gave me. I ended up not sleeping anyway, and when I finally did fall asleep, I woke up early yesterday to incredible pain in my head and neck. I tried 4 times to get out of bed and couldn't do it. When I finally did get out of bed, I took the fastest shower in the world, but ended up getting very dizzy and fell. So I sent my kids over by my mom and spent the rest of the day on the couch.
I did call my doc who did see me yesterday afternoon, but told me just to make sure it didn't get worse and if it did go to into the ER. I also had talked to my Therapist on Wed. and she called me back Thursday morning. I told her how I felt and she told me to rest and that she would call and check in on me. That was nice of her.
I feel much better today eventhough I feel drained, but that is better than the pain. Now I know that if my gut tells me not to take something the doc tries to give me, then I won't.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/13/2008 12:32:44 AM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1747
Joined: 2/28/2007
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Thanks Beth, I did get to see my Therapist this last week and that was helpful. But like I said, we have alot going on. I really wish I could just completely quit my job and just do my L'Bri. I would but the kids I watch are not always here. One is only here on Monday's and Fridays. the other is here maybe twice a month, and the other one is 4 days a week, but off when the older kids are off of school. And I have had all of those kids since either birth, or when their siblings were born and they came along after. It is just hard to tell people you have become to know and be friends with that you are done with them. and I love those kids like they are my own. I just hate being tied down to other peoples kids.
But my mom used to be my back up and since she had her hip surgery, she can't, and I wouldn't expect her to, but I am now flying solo on this one so that means I can't make any doctors appointments until I get all of the parents schedules, or be sick or have things happen that make me unavailable.
Before my mom's surgery, I was working Thursday mornings in my daughters classroom, and then off to a really great bible study. I have made most of the mornings at my daughters school since the other kids are in preschool, but I have to pick them up a half an hour after my bible study starts, and it is a 30 minute drive to get there so I can't get back in time to get the kids from school.
I just feel so disconnected from everything like my church and family. I have been spending so much time in bed that my little one now asks me if I am feeling ok when I am out of bed. I know that isn't good and I am trying to change that. But you know how hard it can be.
Then I got sick so I stopped all meds. But my doc does know about that. I just don't want to add to the turmoil that is going on inside my head.
Anyway, I do hope you get some rest Beth. It sounds like you need it. But the school year is ending and soon you will have a vacation where you can refresh yourself. Just take lots of pictures before you leave.
Love ya!
Tracy
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/13/2008 6:26:55 AM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 740
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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Tracy- I am assuming that you watch the kids during the summer as well??? Sounds to me like you are going to need a vacation soon too. Since most of these kids are in preschool I am assuming that they will be in kindergarten next year?? Will it be half day or all-day??? I understand not wanting to leave these families without somebody to watch their children, but at the same time, you need to take care of yourself. I guess my first suggestion if you will be working through the summer is to choose a week now!!! and let your parents know that you will be taking that week off. That way they have a couple of months to find a different place for their kids for that week. Then that week that you are off is about you. Enjoy some time with your own kids. Sleep in, pamper yourself. Do your doctor appointments when it works for you. The problem with ministry is that Satan uses it to get us down. We become so busy "doing good for Christ" that we forget about ourselves. We become tired and unable to take care of ourselves, but Satan keeps telling us that this is a ministry and so we can't take time for ourselves. That is a lie. We are to love our neighbors as ourselves. If our neighbor was in our place and we saw it, we would do what we could to help. So... that may mean that we need to take some time to take care of ourselves if we don't have a neighbor that will do it. I am of course preaching back to myself here since I also need some time to rest and recharge my batteries. And I can't wait until school is out to do so either. So I am working on find times throughout the week where I can recharge my batteries- spiritually and emotionally. It may mean that I don't go out when everybody else goes out. It may mean that I become "selfish" for a time while at home to take care of myself. This body of mine is where Christ lives- it is his temple. If it is tired though and dirty because of all of the "clutter" that is in it, then it isn't a good place for Christ to be. We have to take some time for ourselves.
Hope everybody has a great day!!
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/14/2008 3:12:27 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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I haven't been wanting to write this post. I may regret writing it.
I went to a new pdoc on Friday. She's very nice. I confided in her something that I'd never told another living soul before. I struggle with alcoholism. I do not drink in front of other people, so not even those who live with me know of this struggle. I am not going to get into how I've kept this secret, but I will say that some of it was through lies, even on these boards. For that, I apologize and ask for your forgiveness. I am very sorry to those of you who I may have hurt by my deceit. There is no excuse for it.
I have also become addicted to one of my medications. I'm being weaned off of it. I'm not going to say which one, because not everyone has that problem with it.
My new pdoc and I talked about Celebrate Recovery and some of the options that I have there. I could switch in my CR group to the one for substance abuse. I could attend a different CR meeting on a different night that way I could go to the one I'm in now for women who've been abused and the other one for substance abuse. I could stay where I'm at with CR and attend AA-type meetings. She said that trying to tackle the two issues could be just what I need, or it could cause me undue stress. I have to decide for myself.
She also stressed what I already knew- the danger of mixing alcohol and meds.
I talked to my pastor on Friday. He said that both issues at once are a lot to take on, but they do run hand-in-hand, so it's not impossible. He's struggled with alcohol and drugs in the past, so he knows a good deal of what I'm up against. He said that I may want to try both for a few weeks and see how it goes. He knows my CR group leader's husband quite well. He suggested that I call my CR group leader for suggestions.
He also stressed what I already knew- the danger of mixing alcohol and meds.
I left a message for my CR group leader on Friday. She wasn't in and I knew that Monday (tomorrow) would be the earliest that I'd hear from her. I would like to hear her suggestions on the issue before I make up my mind.
I would like to erase Friday from the calendar completely. It was so painful to face that reality. I had to face it and tell others about it. I haven't had a drink since Wednesday. I'd love to tell you that I have no desire for a drink, but that would be a lie. I think I cried for about 24 hours straight.
I went to church this morning. I've always understood that we shouldn't take communion if we haven't forgiven someone. Right now I feel like I've been the biggest failure that God has ever had to deal with and like I've let Him and His people down. For that, I'm having a hard time forgiving myself.
It will be an uphill battle for me. However, I have my family, a caring church and Christ, who loves me in spite of myself.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/14/2008 5:51:13 AM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 740
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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(((((Roberta))))) Thank you for being willing to share all of that with us. I know it was difficult for you to confess all of that on Friday and to confess it to us. However, we serve a God who is able to forgive us for our sins against him, against others and against ourselves. You probably already have this passage memorized, but go back and read/study Psalm 51. I have been studying it some over the past several weeks and I have noticed that there are three sections to it. One - admitting that we have sinned (vs. 1-6). David admits that he has sinned since birth, but he admits that he has a problem- he has done wrong. Praise be to God that you are doing this. You have admitted that you have sinned. The second part is vs. 7-12 where David asks for forgiveness and a new start. "Create in me a new heart O,God." It is not enough to admit that we have sinned, but we have to ask for that forgiveness of Christ's death and sacrifice. The third part I had sort of always ignored until recently, but the last verses talk about teaching others the right way. Repentance means to turn away (literally180 degrees) and go the other direction. If you repent, you can not look back to where you have come from- you have to keep going ahead. But in going ahead, you are to teach others what was back there so they do not fall into the same trap. I love ver. 17 that talks about how God does not want our sacrifices of things. He wants a broken and contrite heart. God will not turn you way if you come with a broken and contrite heart.
Know that we love you and will be praying for you. You are right, it will be an uphill battle- life generally is. Put on the full armor of God daily so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes (Eph. 6:10-11 parph).
Even if you have these passages memorized, plese go back and read them again. Study them. God has given you the victory, but you will have to fight against Satan- but find your victory and strength in Christ. If you look for it in yourself, you will not find it.
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/14/2008 10:20:17 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 5607
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: online
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quote:
I talked to my pastor on Friday. He said that | | | |
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