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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/4/2009 12:00:21 PM
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mikesayen
Posts: 477
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1 Cor 7:15 “Not in bondage”
The only ‘exception clause’ for a Christian to divorce is said latter by Paul to the “rest” in 1 Cor 7:15 giving Christians permission to separate in “this case”, “If but the unbeliever separates, let be separated.” As long as the unbelievers were not willing to remain in the marriage, compared to the spouses where were in vs. 12-13. They have “not have-been-in-bondage” (Greek word meaning slavery or a continued state of bondage) for the responsibility to remain married in order to “save” them 1 Cor 7:16, but to let them go for ‘peace’ sake (all believers to live in peace whenever possible-“us”). Paul does not give permission of remarriage in this passage but only divorce. But immediately says after this, “But as God has distributed to each one as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches” and also speaks to be content in circumcision and slavery.
If you notice this whole chapter is dedicated to marriage. Paul was answering direct questions the Corinthians had about marriage (1 Cor 7:1) but because Paul is telling the believers who separated from the unbelievers to remain in the state they are in and realize God called them there, he then gets side tracked a little, but still on point, for Paul wants them to know as well that what ever place you are in life to remain for God called you in that situation or circumstance, also *(except if you can become free from slavery to serve the Lord better than do it). Paul latter speaks about permission for remarriage for the “man” in 1 Cor 7:27-28, and for the “woman” in verse 39.
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/5/2009 8:41:07 PM
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hnt
Posts: 660
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
I am divorced but I will tell you this.....even a "one time slap" would get a man out my door in a New York minute. One time is one time too many. There is never a good excuse for hitting. It is seldom one time either. The hitter SHOULD look worse, cause he, or she....is.
So, do you think my husband should have made me move out the one time I slapped him?
Yes I do personally. There is no excuse for slapping your spouse, and I should care less what gender it is. If a woman goes around slapping her husband she needs to leave until she can learn self control.
Its a personal decision on the other hand, and if the couple decides that is not something they want to happen then DON'T! They know the relationship better than I do, and I would hope they learned that keeping their hands OFF their spouse in that manner. If the husband wanted her to leave due to this? YES I think she should!
I personally would be afraid of my spouse if he slapped me. If he wouldn't leave - I would! For me - the fear factor would be present. That could be or not be with others in their relationships. lol I have no idea what his reaction would be if I hit him. Stunned I am sure, but I don't know about the fear! HEY I could be wrong there as well.
Something is terribly wrong if a spouse hits another. YES that mean even the first time! They need to separate and figure out some civil ways of handling things before returning. Slapping isn't civil to me.
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/5/2009 10:45:28 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hnt
quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
I am divorced but I will tell you this.....even a "one time slap" would get a man out my door in a New York minute. One time is one time too many. There is never a good excuse for hitting. It is seldom one time either. The hitter SHOULD look worse, cause he, or she....is.
So, do you think my husband should have made me move out the one time I slapped him?
Yes I do personally. There is no excuse for slapping your spouse, and I should care less what gender it is. If a woman goes around slapping her husband she needs to leave until she can learn self control.
Its a personal decision on the other hand, and if the couple decides that is not something they want to happen then DON'T! They know the relationship better than I do, and I would hope they learned that keeping their hands OFF their spouse in that manner. If the husband wanted her to leave due to this? YES I think she should!
I personally would be afraid of my spouse if he slapped me. If he wouldn't leave - I would! For me - the fear factor would be present. That could be or not be with others in their relationships. lol I have no idea what his reaction would be if I hit him. Stunned I am sure, but I don't know about the fear! HEY I could be wrong there as well.
Something is terribly wrong if a spouse hits another. YES that mean even the first time! They need to separate and figure out some civil ways of handling things before returning. Slapping isn't civil to me.
That is rather harsh in my opinion.She did it one time in many years of marriage. maybe she had good reason, we dont know. Of course it is never right to abuse in any way, but one slap, although wrong, is hardly the same as a spouse who repeatedly beats their spouse up.
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/5/2009 11:57:16 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano23
quote:
maybe she had good reason, we dont know.
 What would be a "good reason"?
if anyone deely hurts another, the other may feel like slapping them. no one is saying that it is right, but then if I did something terrible to my husband then maybe I would deserve a little slap.I am talking about serious things such as being unfaithful or similiar (by he way he has never hit me and neither did my first husband).
< Message edited by herestoresmysoul -- 8/6/2009 11:58:41 AM >
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/6/2009 5:02:44 AM
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hnt
Posts: 660
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano23
quote:
maybe she had good reason, we dont know.
What would be a "good reason"?
if anyone deely hurts another, the other may feel like slapping them. no one is saying that it is right, but then if I did something terrible to my husband then maybe I would deserve a little slap. (by he way he has never hit me and neither did my first husband).
Sorry, but no one deserves a little slap. I don't care if you are a man, woman or little green people eaters.
We are to treat our spouses as Christ would have us treat them. Christ to me would NEVER justify anyone slapping another person in the manner in which you speak.
We all make DUMB mistakes in marriage. If we cross that line? We need a cooling off period if nothing else in order to get our priorities straight. If you - as a couple - feel separation isn't needed that is your choice. If you HIT your spouse - even a slap - and they wish you to leave? They have that right, and I don't care WHO you are! That's called consequences, and that doesn't mean the relationship is doomed.
No one has the right to slap another person in the fashion we are speaking of. If people think that is harsh so be it, but that doesn't change the truth. I'm sure this will send you over the top, but that includes hitting a wall, throwing items in a tantrum, etc.
I don't believe that gender has anything to do with this. That doesn't mean a couple can't grow past it either. People are way to black and white it seems to me at times. There is nothing wrong with a boundary. If you are THAT upset that you wish to HIT another person? Clue one - you get the heck out of dodge! If that means running around the block then do IT!
A gentleman doesn't have to put up with being slapping by a lady that is showing lack of self control. Asking her to leave isn't NOT being a gentleman. I don't buy it. If they make the decision NOT to have her leave? That's their choice!
That decision needs to be agreed upon by both, and not by manipulative comments, guilt trips, etc. If that isn't a red flag if they use that I don't know what is. lol goodness knows gender doesn't have the corner on the market in that area either! HUMANS in general can be real nasty when it comes to hitting below the belt.
Situations are custom, but the slap is over the top and I don't care WHO did it! Its NOT a gender deal - its the principal.
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/6/2009 6:35:22 AM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
Yes I do personally. There is no excuse for slapping your spouse, and I should care less what gender it is. If a woman goes around slapping her husband she needs to leave until she can learn self control.
Well I'm glad somebody takes gender equality seriously when the tables are turned.
You are right, I had no excuse. A man would have no excuse either.
I still think that a *one-time* incident (I did not "go around slapping him" ) is not grounds for immediate divorce, whoever was the slapper.
I asked the question because often "dump the jerk" is applied to men, even for one-time incidents, while women can slide by saying the man was emotionally abusive and deserved it, or that some different standard applies to women because men can do more physical damage if they want to.
I agree.
I never said anyone 'deserves' a slap, just that on rare occasions it may happen when one spouse has been deeply hurt. It certainly isnt any reason to immediatly leave in my opinion.Its like if our spouse may call us a name in anger, it isnt to be immediatly called 'emotional abuse' and be a reaosn to think of seperation. we ALL do things that we reegret and that we shoudnt have done, but I hardly think that one slap should be taken out of context in a long generally very good marriage.
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/6/2009 3:22:00 PM
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hnt
Posts: 660
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
Yes I do personally. There is no excuse for slapping your spouse, and I should care less what gender it is. If a woman goes around slapping her husband she needs to leave until she can learn self control.
Well I'm glad somebody takes gender equality seriously when the tables are turned.
You are right, I had no excuse. A man would have no excuse either.
I still think that a *one-time* incident (I did not "go around slapping him" ) is not grounds for immediate divorce, whoever was the slapper.
I asked the question because often "dump the jerk" is applied to men, even for one-time incidents, while women can slide by saying the man was emotionally abusive and deserved it, or that some different standard applies to women because men can do more physical damage if they want to.
I never said you went around slapping your husband, so I don't know what you eye ball icon is all about.  I never went down the divorce road in my comment either. Please don't add to what I have said.
If I were guessing those that tell others to 'ditch the jerk' without digging deeper (which isn't right either) may be speaking from the fear of the past. WHO KNOWS! I have seen double standards both directions.
I have seen the boys will be boys attitude, and what you do expect she is a women...you know they run their lives by emotion! as excuses not to deal with things as well. Right away they brush people with stereotypes, and they also refuse to dig for details.
Every circumstance is custom, and should be approached as so.
Divorce shouldn't be the first thing placed on the table by anyone. That's just NOT rational behavior.
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/6/2009 4:22:46 PM
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WilliamtheConqueror
Posts: 153
Joined: 7/31/2009
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Well it sounds as if a lot of posters on these threads slap one another (in the vernacular sense) by what they say back and forth on their posts. "Anything you can do I can do better. I can do anything better than you. Oh no you can't. Oh yes I can. Oh no you can't...." from Annie Get Your Gun.
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/6/2009 5:17:20 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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william glad I caught you. I am still wanting you to tell me why I am jealous as you said in an earlier post.
Hope you will reply this time.
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/9/2009 12:48:14 PM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 426
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
Status: offline
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Not sure if this has come up (I refuse to read through 47 pages) but what about this?
Your wife/husband tries to kill you or have you killed, do you divorce or separate?
Your wife/husband decides they want to have a sex change and go through with it despite your protests, do you divorce or separate?
I will just ask these two. Reason being that both have come up in the news media recently.
< Message edited by Child4Jesus -- 8/9/2009 1:03:20 PM >
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/9/2009 12:58:14 PM
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hnt
Posts: 660
Joined: 4/11/2005
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I don't see why people would question separation under what you wrote.
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/9/2009 7:03:21 PM
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mikesayen
Posts: 477
Joined: 12/17/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Child4Jesus
Not sure if this has come up (I refuse to read through 47 pages) but what about this?
Your wife/husband tries to kill you or have you killed, do you divorce or separate?
Your wife/husband decides they want to have a sex change and go through with it despite your protests, do you divorce or separate?
I will just ask these two. Reason being that both have come up in the news media recently.
There are the cases of "abominations" that would include a divorce.. such as marrying your mother, sister, brother's wife (as King Herod did in the Gospels) but this would not include "remarriage" if it is for a woman whose marriage was ok'd at frist then had a sex change. This is just a possible situaiton.. according to Lev. marriage laws they might demand a divorce. But for the reason besides sexual abominations, I agree a separation may be in order but a divorce is not nessesary. Stay unmarried unless the wife has committed sexual imorality in the marriage and or unlawfully married another man already. The woman is bound to the "law of the husband" 1 Cor 7:39 and Rom 7:2 therefore she must, as the Lord says "remain unmarried or reconcile with your husband" 1 Cor 7:10-11a.
michael
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/9/2009 7:44:29 PM
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mikesayen
Posts: 477
Joined: 12/17/2008
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Marriage is not a ‘contract’ but a “covenant”…
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia;
This article is about covenants in general. For more specific uses, see Covenant (disambiguation).
A covenant, in its most general sense, is a solemn promise to engage in or refrain from a specified action.
More specifically, a covenant, in contrast to a contract, is a one-way agreement whereby the covenanter is the only party bound by the promise. A covenant may have conditions and prerequisites that qualify the undertaking, including the acations of second or third parties, but there is no inherent agreement by such other parties to fulfill those requirements. Consequentially, the only party that can break a covenant is the covenanter.
Gal 3:15 it says, “Brethren, I speak in the manner of men: thought it is only a man’s covenant, yet if it is confirmed, no one annuls or adds to it” as to say, “and this I say, that the law (Covenant of Moses) which was four hundred and thirty years later, cannot annul the covenant that was confirmed before by God (Covenant with Abraham and his “seed”), in Christ, that it should make the promise of no effect.” What Paul is saying is although another covenant is made, it does not nullify the first covenant; nor can it be changed or altered (if there were no prerequisites written/said at the giving of the covenant).
In like manner when man divorces a woman, without the “permission of Moses” they are still bound to their covenant oaths to one another Matt 5:32 and Matt 19:9b. That is why it says in Mark 10:11 if you marry another woman (apart from sexual immorality) you commit adultery “against” your wife. God says a “Writ” or ‘Get’ of divorce Deut 24:1 is handed to the woman offender, and it nullifies the marriage making it “obsolete” Heb 8:11-13, Jer 3:8-9. Where God testifies concerning His wife Israel, “I am no longer her husband and she is no longer My wife” Hos 2:2. The Certificate of Divorce was not to allow the guilty woman to marry again, but to allow the man to put away his wife of ‘uncleanness’ to be able to take another in her place. In a similar way as Queen Esther took the place of Queen Vashti (Esther 1:19).
Divorce
Jesus said, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to divorce your wives” Matt 19:8. Moses allowed the Israelite men to divorce their wives because he saw their rage, unforgiveness, and sin in jealousy. When the “Law” came to man by Moses, sin abound, and the hearts of men grew cold, “I would not have known sin except through the law, for I would not have known covetousness unless the law had said, ‘You shall not covet’.” And “but sin, taking opportunity by the commandment produced in me all manner of evil desire” Rom 7:7-8 “and I died”.
“In the beginning…”
Jesus started off by speaking about divorce saying “He who made them at the beginning made them male and female” Matt 19:4. Jesus focus in speaking about divorce was the intent of marriage “in the beginning” Gen 1:1-26.
Jesus also spoke latter and said, “but from the beginning (divorce) was not so” Matt 19:8. No divorces were permitted of either the man or the women, from Adam all the way to Moses, for any reason. Even that of breaking of the marriage promises (for there were no conditions pre-written).
Moses never gave this written ‘permission’ to the woman (to put him out of his house) though he may have been guilty of ‘uncleanness.’ For the woman was made “for” and “from” the man 1 Cor 11:8-9 and given “authority” over her Num 30:5-6, 1 Cor 11:10 as the ‘head’. Although the woman is no longer under the authority of the husband after a divorce Num 30:9, and the marriage has been voided and made obsolete; according to the rules of Rom 7:1 since the woman was put “under man” Rom 7:2a in marriage (Gen 3:16) she becomes “bound” to a “law” to him as long as he lives Rom 7:1-2 and 1 Cor 7:39.
Therefore she commits adultery against the “law” of the husband if she were to marries another man if still married Rom 7:3 and if she has been divorced and decided to remarry another 1 Cor 7:39 (she does not commit adultery to the man directly if divorced but to the law of the husband only). The woman is only guilty of “sexual immorality” if she fornicates while in the ‘unmarried’ state Jer 3:11, but then becomes guilty of adultery if she marries another.
< Message edited by mikesayen -- 8/11/2009 12:38:41 AM >
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/15/2009 2:51:46 PM
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Binyamin
Posts: 6
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hnt
quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
I am divorced but I will tell you this.....even a "one time slap" would get a man out my door in a New York minute. One time is one time too many. There is never a good excuse for hitting. It is seldom one time either. The hitter SHOULD look worse, cause he, or she....is.
So, do you think my husband should have made me move out the one time I slapped him?
Yes I do personally. There is no excuse for slapping your spouse, and I should care less what gender it is. If a woman goes around slapping her husband she needs to leave until she can learn self control.
Its a personal decision on the other hand, and if the couple decides that is not something they want to happen then DON'T! They know the relationship better than I do, and I would hope they learned that keeping their hands OFF their spouse in that manner. If the husband wanted her to leave due to this? YES I think she should!
I personally would be afraid of my spouse if he slapped me. If he wouldn't leave - I would! For me - the fear factor would be present. That could be or not be with others in their relationships. lol I have no idea what his reaction would be if I hit him. Stunned I am sure, but I don't know about the fear! HEY I could be wrong there as well.
Something is terribly wrong if a spouse hits another. YES that mean even the first time! They need to separate and figure out some civil ways of handling things before returning. Slapping isn't civil to me.
What about verbal or psychological abuse?
Insults, put-downs, hostility, passive-aggression, withdrawal, neglect, humiliation and embarrassment, etc.
If someone did that to me, am I entitled to throw them out the door, or is psychological abuse tolerable, while physical abuse is not?
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/15/2009 3:09:51 PM
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benelchi
Posts: 4566
Joined: 9/14/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Binyamin
quote:
ORIGINAL: hnt
quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
I am divorced but I will tell you this.....even a "one time slap" would get a man out my door in a New York minute. One time is one time too many. There is never a good excuse for hitting. It is seldom one time either. The hitter SHOULD look worse, cause he, or she....is.
So, do you think my husband should have made me move out the one time I slapped him?
Yes I do personally. There is no excuse for slapping your spouse, and I should care less what gender it is. If a woman goes around slapping her husband she needs to leave until she can learn self control.
Its a personal decision on the other hand, and if the couple decides that is not something they want to happen then DON'T! They know the relationship better than I do, and I would hope they learned that keeping their hands OFF their spouse in that manner. If the husband wanted her to leave due to this? YES I think she should!
I personally would be afraid of my spouse if he slapped me. If he wouldn't leave - I would! For me - the fear factor would be present. That could be or not be with others in their relationships. lol I have no idea what his reaction would be if I hit him. Stunned I am sure, but I don't know about the fear! HEY I could be wrong there as well.
Something is terribly wrong if a spouse hits another. YES that mean even the first time! They need to separate and figure out some civil ways of handling things before returning. Slapping isn't civil to me.
What about verbal or psychological abuse?
Insults, put-downs, hostility, passive-aggression, withdrawal, neglect, humiliation and embarrassment, etc.
If someone did that to me, am I entitled to throw them out the door, or is psychological abuse tolerable, while physical abuse is not?
First, when these kinds of accusations are made it is important to have someone unbiased involved (like a counselor). While many times these things can be indications of a serious problem, often these are simply excuses used to excuse the pursuit of a divorce.
Second, remaining in a truly bad situation or divorcing are not the only options. If the situation is truly unlivable. A separation, with the intention of reconciliation, can be pursued while dealing with the problems that required separation in the first place.
_____________________________
אשת־חיל מי ימצא ורחק מפנינים מכרה
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/16/2009 8:59:32 AM
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Katie51
Posts: 227
Joined: 1/8/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: benelchi
quote:
ORIGINAL: Binyamin
quote:
ORIGINAL: hnt
quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
I am divorced but I will tell you this.....even a "one time slap" would get a man out my door in a New York minute. One time is one time too many. There is never a good excuse for hitting. It is seldom one time either. The hitter SHOULD look worse, cause he, or she....is.
So, do you think my husband should have made me move out the one time I slapped him?
Yes I do personally. There is no excuse for slapping your spouse, and I should care less what gender it is. If a woman goes around slapping her husband she needs to leave until she can learn self control.
Its a personal decision on the other hand, and if the couple decides that is not something they want to happen then DON'T! They know the relationship better than I do, and I would hope they learned that keeping their hands OFF their spouse in that manner. If the husband wanted her to leave due to this? YES I think she should!
I personally would be afraid of my spouse if he slapped me. If he wouldn't leave - I would! For me - the fear factor would be present. That could be or not be with others in their relationships. lol I have no idea what his reaction would be if I hit him. Stunned I am sure, but I don't know about the fear! HEY I could be wrong there as well.
Something is terribly wrong if a spouse hits another. YES that mean even the first time! They need to separate and figure out some civil ways of handling things before returning. Slapping isn't civil to me.
What about verbal or psychological abuse?
Insults, put-downs, hostility, passive-aggression, withdrawal, neglect, humiliation and embarrassment, etc.
If someone did that to me, am I entitled to throw them out the door, or is psychological abuse tolerable, while physical abuse is not?
First, when these kinds of accusations are made it is important to have someone unbiased involved (like a counselor). While many times these things can be indications of a serious problem, often these are simply excuses used to excuse the pursuit of a divorce.
Second, remaining in a truly bad situation or divorcing are not the only options. If the situation is truly unlivable. A separation, with the intention of reconciliation, can be pursued while dealing with the problems that required separation in the first place.
Passive agressive spouses are often quietly manipulative. They are pleasant and smiling around others and hideous at home. For counseling (the American answer to everything, if you can afford the outrageous fees) to work, it takes two. I am not really disagreeing with your answer however. I went to several counselors before my divorce. One spent a lot of time trying to convince me my spouse was bipolar (he isnt and you do not diagnose a person who isnt there! ...the other told me to listen to music and take bubble baths to relax!...Of course not all counselors are like that although most charge high fees. I've just found that counseling doesnt help everyone. If it helps anyone reading this then by all means continue going . I received more help from books I read and friends.
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/17/2009 12:51:44 AM
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mikesayen
Posts: 477
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Katie51
quote:
ORIGINAL: benelchi
quote:
ORIGINAL: Binyamin
quote:
ORIGINAL: hnt
quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
I am divorced but I will tell you this.....even a "one time slap" would get a man out my door in a New York minute. One time is one time too many. There is never a good excuse for hitting. It is seldom one time either. The hitter SHOULD look worse, cause he, or she....is.
So, do you think my husband should have made me move out the one time I slapped him?
Yes I do personally. There is no excuse for slapping your spouse, and I should care less what gender it is. If a woman goes around slapping her husband she needs to leave until she can learn self control.
Its a personal decision on the other hand, and if the couple decides that is not something they want to happen then DON'T! They know the relationship better than I do, and I would hope they learned that keeping their hands OFF their spouse in that manner. If the husband wanted her to leave due to this? YES I think she should!
I personally would be afraid of my spouse if he slapped me. If he wouldn't leave - I would! For me - the fear factor would be present. That could be or not be with others in their relationships. lol I have no idea what his reaction would be if I hit him. Stunned I am sure, but I don't know about the fear! HEY I could be wrong there as well.
Something is terribly wrong if a spouse hits another. YES that mean even the first time! They need to separate and figure out some civil ways of handling things before returning. Slapping isn't civil to me.
What about verbal or psychological abuse?
Insults, put-downs, hostility, passive-aggression, withdrawal, neglect, humiliation and embarrassment, etc.
If someone did that to me, am I entitled to throw them out the door, or is psychological abuse tolerable, while physical abuse is not?
First, when these kinds of accusations are made it is important to have someone unbiased involved (like a counselor). While many times these things can be indications of a serious problem, often these are simply excuses used to excuse the pursuit of a divorce.
Second, remaining in a truly bad situation or divorcing are not the only options. If the situation is truly unlivable. A separation, with the intention of reconciliation, can be pursued while dealing with the problems that required separation in the first place.
Passive agressive spouses are often quietly manipulative. They are pleasant and smiling around others and hideous at home. For counseling (the American answer to everything, if you can afford the outrageous fees) to work, it takes two. I am not really disagreeing with your answer however. I went to several counselors before my divorce. One spent a lot of time trying to convince me my spouse was bipolar (he isnt and you do not diagnose a person who isnt there! ...the other told me to listen to music and take bubble baths to relax!...Of course not all counselors are like that although most charge high fees. I've just found that counseling doesnt help everyone. If it helps anyone reading this then by all means continue going . I received more help from books I read and friends.
Paul said the "Lord" "charges" all Christian women not to separate from their husbands, and if you do separate "remain unmarried or reconcile with your husband". You are not to divorce your husband, but if you did you must remain unmarried if you are not able to reconcile with your husband. 1 Cor 7:10=11
There may be a time of taking time off, but Paul said do not do this except for a time of prayer and fasting by the both of you, so Satan will not temp you because of your lack of self control in this matter 1 Cor 7:3-7.
Do not divorce your husband
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/17/2009 9:17:33 AM
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Katie51
Posts: 227
Joined: 1/8/2009
Status: offline
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Passive agressive spouses are often quietly manipulative. They are pleasant and smiling around others and hideous at home. For counseling (the American answer to everything, if you can afford the outrageous fees) to work, it takes two. I am not really disagreeing with your answer however. I went to several counselors before my divorce. One spent a lot of time trying to convince me my spouse was bipolar (he isnt and you do not diagnose a person who isnt there! ...the other told me to listen to music and take bubble baths to relax!...Of course not all counselors are like that although most charge high fees. I've just found that counseling doesnt help everyone. If it helps anyone reading this then by all means continue going . I received more help from books I read and friends.
[/quote]
Paul said the "Lord" "charges" all Christian women not to separate from their husbands, and if you do separate "remain unmarried or reconcile with your husband". You are not to divorce your husband, but if you did you must remain unmarried if you are not able to reconcile with your husband. 1 Cor 7:10=11
There may be a time of taking time off, but Paul said do not do this except for a time of prayer and fasting by the both of you, so Satan will not temp you because of your lack of self control in this matter 1 Cor 7:3-7.
Do not divorce your husband
[/quote]
Too late. I already did. So you are saying I should have taken the verbal and emotional abuse, hiding of money from me, obnoxious behavior to my family, allowing our children to run wild etc etc....by staying married to him I would have broken other Biblical commandments,, like teach up a child in the way he should go....honor thy father and mother....what do you say to that? Instead of the usual two or three verses you quote (you can prove anything with that approach) I am wondering if you might actually answer. Doubt it. Why not separate, some say? I did. My husband couldnt have cared less. To protect myself physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and financially....and to protect the rest of my family I had to divorce him. Some times you cut off the one dead branch on the tree so the rest of the branches can flower and live.
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/17/2009 9:26:53 AM
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Katie51
Posts: 227
Joined: 1/8/2009
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question 1: what if staying with your husband causes you to break other Biblical commandments, like honor thy father and mother and raise up a child in the way he should go.
question 2: what if you separate and husband doesnt reconcile and by law, you must divorce or be held responsible for the huge debt he is running up . There are verses on good stewardship of the money God has given you.
Alas it is not so black and white as some would believe. [Edited By Admin]
< Message edited by Fritzpw_Admin -- 8/17/2009 12:19:51 PM >
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/17/2009 12:19:54 PM
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Fritzpw_Admin
Posts: 8033
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
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ADMIN'S NOTE :: ATTENTION PLEASE
To everyone,
I want to be very clear about something.
The purpose of this thread is to dicuss the TOPIC of divorce.
It is NOT for the purpose of discussing YOUR divorce.
I have found that people who post with statements like, "so because I divorced my spouse I am now forever a sinner and never to be forgiven?" are opening themselves up to being hurt or hurting someone else.
If you are not able to participate in this topic without discussing the experience of YOUR divorce then I must request that you stay out of the thread.
Posts which ignore this warning will be removed without warning and may result in other action in accordance with the Terms of Service.
Thank you for your attention, understanding, and cooperation.
Please do not reply to this message within the Community.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
Please do not send me PMs regarding this message.
_____________________________
Fred "Fritz" Alberti
Director of Social Media
fritz@salemwebnetwork.com
Read today's Bible verse from my favorite online Bible
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RE: Divorce - One Stop Thread - 8/17/2009 4:19:05 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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Katie
Mike has his opinions and fortunately most Christians do believe that a women is able to divorce their hsuband for seriious sin., such as serious abuse and sexual immorality. Dont let it get to you, it is only his opinion. I know a few women who were clearly led by God to divorce their husbands.
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My original question/response was to a poster who said one slap would mean a man was out the door. The end. 
