|
|
|
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 2:16:28 PM
|
|
|
Fritzpw_Admin
Posts: 7463
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
|
Please discuss the issues surrounding the topic of corporal punishment in child rearing.
_____________________________
Fritz
Community Manager
fritz@salemwebnetwork.com
Do you tweet? Follow me: Click Here
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 3:47:40 PM
|
|
|
Fritzpw_Admin
Posts: 7463
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
|
This thread is for all users on both sides of the debate.
This thread will be heavily moderated.
Users who attempt to circumvent my authority or who use the thread to air their grievances will be found in violation of the Terms of Service and subject to the consequences listed therein.
No other thread on spanking directed at both sides should be started.
_____________________________
Fritz
Community Manager
fritz@salemwebnetwork.com
Do you tweet? Follow me: Click Here
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:05:15 PM
|
|
|
Cherish4235
Posts: 8
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Fritzpw_Admin
This thread is for all users on both sides of the debate.
This thread will be heavily moderated.
Users who attempt to circumvent my authority or who use the thread to air their grievances will be found in violation of the Terms of Service and subject to the consequences listed therein.
No other thread on spanking directed at both sides should be started.
I don't know what the words circumvent or grievances mean, but I do know that I don't think I want to post in this thread ever again either.
I think everyone expressed their opinions well in the last thread. In other words, I guess enough has already been said regarding spanking.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:11:45 PM
|
|
|
Fritzpw_Admin
Posts: 7463
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
|
NewlywedMrs.Josh, I PMed you my response.
_____________________________
Fritz
Community Manager
fritz@salemwebnetwork.com
Do you tweet? Follow me: Click Here
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:12:39 PM
|
|
|
Jhud
Posts: 6781
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lake Wobegon
Status: offline
|
I would be interested in testimonies that go something like this:
"I was spanked by otherwise loving and supportive parents, and it ruined my life"
To me that would lend credence to the no spanking argument.
_____________________________
Jack
“I mean to live my life an obedient man, but obedient to God, subservient to the wisdom of my ancestors; never to the authority of political truths arrived at yesterday at the voting booth”
William F. Buckley Jr. 1925-200
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:21:55 PM
|
|
|
rainbowunicorn
Posts: 3
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: So Cal
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jhud
I would be interested in testimonies that go something like this:
"I was spanked by otherwise loving and supportive parents, and it ruined my life"
To me that would lend credence to the no spanking argument.
But how about the reverse? "I wasn't spanked by otherwise loving and supportive parents, and it ruined my life."
Is the critical issue the presence or lack of spanking or the presence or lack of being loving and supportive?
Lisa
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:25:32 PM
|
|
|
Sunnymom
Posts: 2802
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
I think it would help to define spanking. Too many times when folks think about spanking, they think about a kid getting yanked up by their elbow, and being swatted multiple times on the behind while the parent is yelling and turning three shades of red. That is a parents losing control and pitching a fit on their kids. That is not spanking, Biblical or otherwise.
I think Biblical chastisement includes the use of corporal punishment- the use of a rod, stick, switch, ruler, wooden spoon..... to inflict discomfort to the behind of a child who has exhibited rebellious behavior.
This chastisement should be fully expected by said child, who is aware of the rules of proper behavior, and has chosen to disobey.
Spanking is not the only form of punishment avaliable to the parent, but it can be every effective when done properly. I have seen it time and time again drive the foolishness from a child, as well as save their life- because children who are given mutliple chances to disobey also increase their chances of becoming road pizza. Children who are constantly 'reasoned with' expect explanations before compliance. There is nothing wrong with expecting instant, unquestioning obedience in children. It is a model for what God expects from us.
And as a parent who attempts to model how God deals with us, I also employ the use of natural consequences and the removal of privileges, as well as mercy and long-suffering. It is a prayerful balance.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:27:36 PM
|
|
|
rainbowunicorn
Posts: 3
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: So Cal
Status: offline
|
BTW, I have 3 children. I have spanked all three of them for varying reasons, mostly having to do with out and out defiance.
But we have to be really careful about how we use spanking on our two boys. The older one has autism and the younger one has Asperger Syndrome. Both of them have gone thru phases during which you could have literally beaten them to death and they would NOT have given in. And these phases occurred before we had diagnoses on our boys. So from our perspective, we were trying to raise two normal boys, just very strong-willed. But the autism caused them to become completely locked-in and unable to give up.
Lisa
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:27:47 PM
|
|
|
Sunnymom
Posts: 2802
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: rainbowunicorn
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jhud
I would be interested in testimonies that go something like this:
"I was spanked by otherwise loving and supportive parents, and it ruined my life"
To me that would lend credence to the no spanking argument.
But how about the reverse? "I wasn't spanked by otherwise loving and supportive parents, and it ruined my life."
Is the critical issue the presence or lack of spanking or the presence or lack of being loving and supportive?
Lisa
I wish my parents had spanked me for losing my temper- I was a married adult with a child before I learned to control my violent outbursts.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:29:17 PM
|
|
|
Jhud
Posts: 6781
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lake Wobegon
Status: offline
|
quote:
But how about the reverse? "I wasn't spanked by otherwise loving and supportive parents, and it ruined my life."
Is the critical issue the presence or lack of spanking or the presence or lack of being loving and supportive?
Either would be informative to that end; I think my reasoning is that it is one thing to say, "I'm raising my child this way currently because I believe such and such" and another to say, "I am the result of that philosophy and it works".
It's 'fruit' - or lack thereof, which I think is the ultimate test.
_____________________________
Jack
“I mean to live my life an obedient man, but obedient to God, subservient to the wisdom of my ancestors; never to the authority of political truths arrived at yesterday at the voting booth”
William F. Buckley Jr. 1925-200
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:50:56 PM
|
|
|
TammyIsBlessed
Posts: 1577
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Sunnymom
I think it would help to define spanking. Too many times when folks think about spanking, they think about a kid getting yanked up by their elbow, and being swatted multiple times on the behind while the parent is yelling and turning three shades of red. That is a parents losing control and pitching a fit on their kids. That is not spanking, Biblical or otherwise.
Well said.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 4:57:42 PM
|
|
|
gratefulforgrace
Posts: 622
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Near Spokane Washington
Status: offline
|
I don't really know what I think about spanking yet. My parents spanked me and I turned out great, IMHO 
I think the thing that scares me about spanking is that I'm sure when my child disobeyed I would already be somewhat angry. How do you make sure that you are spanking out of a real desire for correction and not anger?
_____________________________
“Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun." Ecclesiates 11:7 My blog
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 5:07:55 PM
|
|
|
PrincessDonna
Posts: 9342
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
|
Having planned consequences to different types of behavior also helps control the anger. At least it does for me. IOW, if you lie, you will be spanked x number of times. Period. If you hurl a toy across the room, you will sit out x number of minutes. Period. If you whine when you are told no, you are grounded from that thing (snack, friend's house, whatever it is) for x number of days. When consequences are preset, kids know what to expect and parents don't have to contemplate the proper punishment in the heat of the moment, at least not most of the time. Kids are good at coming up with things that you've never made a specific punishment for. 
_____________________________
<----We love you, Mom!!!
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.
~Psalm 13:5-6~
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 5:09:19 PM
|
|
|
Jhud
Posts: 6781
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lake Wobegon
Status: offline
|
quote:
I think the thing that scares me about spanking is that I'm sure when my child disobeyed I would already be somewhat angry. How do you make sure that you are spanking out of a real desire for correction and not anger?
I find lots of pratice helps.
_____________________________
Jack
“I mean to live my life an obedient man, but obedient to God, subservient to the wisdom of my ancestors; never to the authority of political truths arrived at yesterday at the voting booth”
William F. Buckley Jr. 1925-200
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 5:11:38 PM
|
|
|
Sunnymom
Posts: 2802
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
That's a good point Donna- it takes the pressure of off you (no inventing dire consequences on the spot), limits threatening("If you do that one more time!"), and the child understands the boundaries, fully aware of what will happen if they choose to disobey. Now all that the parent has to do is be consistent.
We have an "If-Then" chart, based on "The 21 Rules of This House". It covers everything, by incident or principle. I love it.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 5:14:14 PM
|
|
|
Sunnymom
Posts: 2802
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
Kids are good at coming up with things that you've never made a specific punishment for.
"But Mom, you never told me I wasn't allowed to jump off the roof of the garage!"
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: To Spank Or Not To Spank - One Stop Thread - 5/5/2005 5:22:40 PM
|
|
|
Sunnymom
Posts: 2802
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
Its a book by Gregg and Joshua Harris- you can get it here- cheap, I might add, for the use you will get out of it!
www.christianbook.com
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
| |
Forum Tools
Printable Version
