quote:

ORIGINAL: bolt.

It is possible to raise many children through very careful methods that do not involve corporal punishment. As a parent that knows those methods, it is important for me to at least try teaching methods other than physical pain as a deterrent. If a parent can't manage that, or if it is clearly not working, and if they have no one to teach them -- then yes, it is kinder to a child to spank them than to let them become increasingly undisciplined at the core.

That's what previous generations did, and rightly so, because they didn't have the understanding (or the luxury) of working with more humane (but effective) methods.

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

I think that after their child is about 4 or 5, even a spanking parent shouldn't need to spank, that there are far better and more effective alternatives (which also are far less likely to lead to resentment and self-hatred for the child).

quote:

ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

My kids get only swats as toddlers.

And they don't get true spanks that often.

However, there have been rare and short periods of time where one child might get spanked several days in a row. And that has happened after age 6 too. The usual reason for this is the child *will not* control his behavior (either intentionally or unintentionally hurting his siblings with a certain behavior, or reacting to gentle correction with anger or screaming towards parents), after warnings and other forms of discipline. This doesn't happen often (my kids are generally great kids ), but I have no problem with spanking after age 5 if the situation warrents it. For my kids, knowing that the punishment for certain behaviors will be swift, severe, and consistently applied means that those behaviors last a shorter time and the intervals between their slipups are much longer than if I use something else.

The last spanking I ever got, I was 9 years old. I totally deserved it, my parents had tried other discipline with no luck, and I have absolutely no problem with the fact that my dad paddled me for what I did. It worked, too, btw.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HEWM

I've seen that spanking usually occurs when a parent is stressed, tired, overwhelmed, distracted or just plain not interested in the child, seriously, there could also be an overzealous religious aspect. Using religion as a powertool.!!!!! What's up with wanting my child to look like a perfect model child in public? Isn't that just parent pride? What is more important than the child I have received into my home? Isn't the child a small piece of heaven loaned to me for a limited time? Nothing is the child's fault. That is a bold statement I know but I am convinced that a child's behaviour is subject to it's DNA, environment and role models. I remember being told to begin spanking my first child at 6 months old. Preposterous. A highly religious individual by whom I was also told to withhold affection from my child.

quote:

ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

I hope you are joking, justpassinby.

quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

and yet studies done at Harvard, and Princeton show that those families that do practice controlled spanking....have LESS abuse overall than those who do not practice spanking.

Sweden's teen crime rate has climbed steadily since the 1970's when they outlawed spanking of children....

and yes...the US did not ratify the convention of the child...because most Americans do not want their children belonging to the state anymore than they already do.

Some of the countries listed that have ratified the convention have some of the worst records of child abuse and human rights issues in the world (Thailand and India for example think nothing of trafficking children for sexual slavery....).

quote:

ORIGINAL: PDeverit





Studies from Harvard and Princeton? Which ones? I know of Harvard professors (such as Dr. Alvin Poussaint, director in Judge Baker Childrens' Center in Boston, and professor of psychiatry at Harvard), Harvard's Project Zero and studies from Princeton's Center For Research on Child Wellbeing suggest otherwise.

Did you mean the study done at the Biola University?

quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PDeverit





Studies from Harvard and Princeton? Which ones? I know of Harvard professors (such as Dr. Alvin Poussaint, director in Judge Baker Childrens' Center in Boston, and professor of psychiatry at Harvard), Harvard's Project Zero and studies from Princeton's Center For Research on Child Wellbeing suggest otherwise.

Did you mean the study done at the Biola University?

No....this was not done at Biola....

I will try to find it....I used to have a link to it. It was done by a psychologist and sociologist. They were shocked to find that spanking (in a controlled manner) actually reduced abuse..verbal as well as physical.


Here are some other quotes from various psychologist/sociologists that disagree with the "spanking is evil" theory:

"Almost everyone has been spanked as a kid, and they say, Well, I've been spanked, and I turned out OK,' and most of them have spanked their own kids," said University of New Hampshire sociologist Murray Straus, who has studied spanking since 1969.

University of California at Berkeley professor Diana Baumrind concludes that spanking isn't so bad.

"The short- and long-term consequences of corporal punishment is no more or less harmful than a mild scolding, time-out or other developmentally appropriate level and kind of punishment," said Baumrind, who conducted a long-term study following about 100 families over a dozen years.


here is a different paper than the one I was referring to: Corporal Punishment

I will continue to search for the paper I read three years ago...and get a link for it.