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RE: In My Father's House

 
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RE: In My Father's House - 5/22/2006 8:42:09 AM   
Ellie-Mae


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Just a little ramble:



Last week I tried to go jogging. I did rather well... for me. I jogged 3/8 of a mile and then limped for 1/8 of a mile. Then I made a note to myself: STRETCH FIRST! I was pretty proud of myself for being able to go that far. I thought of HisChosen the entire time. I don't know if she would have been proud of my efforts or laughed at my silliness. I find funny. I will try again, but have decided to wait until after the dance. I don't want to be limping during the production that I have coming up.

I am in a dance thing at the Colgate Chapel. This is the first time I have done any dance thing. I have practice tonight, dress rehersal tomorrow, and the real thing Wednesday. My knees have been in a lot of pain after each practice. I am a bit nervous about having them three days in a row. At least my hip is doing well.

The Dance is focusing on the bride of Christ. I have actual Bridal gown for part of it. It feels kind of weird, but it is also a lot of fun. I get to do TWO of the songs instead of just one because I did so well during the first practice.

I used to dream of doing this kind of stuff when I was little, but wasn't allowed at ps because they labled me as generally untalented in art, music, or dance. . What do they know? In the Christaian school, I didn't get to do much either. So I am so thrilled to get to do this with people that I enjoy being around and for something with a purpose. Can you tell that I am excited?

I hope that I can cover up my shakiness so it doesn't draw attention.


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Post #: 26
RE: In My Father's House - 7/4/2006 10:35:05 AM   
Ellie-Mae


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We have been incredibly and happily busy. I am never going to catch up, but there ae so many things that I want to share so I am going to just tell you stories as I think of them... in no particular order.

Something really cool happened Sunday. It was something that has never happened to us in all of our almost 14 years of marrage. We have always lived in the country or we didn't have kids so this has never happened to us before. I would read about it in the forums here. Sometimes it sounded really nice and other times I was glad that this never happened... But it DID finally happen this last Sunday!

A neighbor kid showed up at our door wanting to meet us and to play with our kids. We have never had neighbor kids before. Her parents bought the house across and down the road from us as a summer home (from what the little girl told us). It really suprised us because we have never met the parents before. They just sent her over to introduce herself and to see if she could play. She was really sweet. When it came time, I sent her home with a card inviting them over for a BBQ on Saturday so we could all meet them.

After she left we were talking about her, and Caleb, my missionary minded child, asked if she knew Jesus. I told him that I didn't know yet, but we would find out. He made my heart swell with a mother's pride. I am sure that God is also very pleased to know that He wasn't forgotten in the excitement.

Yesterday we saw the dad walking by with his little boy and thanked us for the invite and told us that he was going to talk to his wife and get back to us.

Today the little girl showed up at our house and asked if we had jumper cables because the battery in their car was dead. Russ gave her a ride back home, and got their car going for them.

They are going to bring watermelon to the BBQ!

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Post #: 27
RE: In My Father's House - 7/4/2006 1:09:59 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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My brother in law and his family were here this last weekend. I have two nieces C and M who are 10 and 9... and one nephew (N) who is 7. I was doing something in our van when one of them came up behind me and asked me a question. I answered without turning to see who it was. I backed out of the van and was suprised to find M standing behind me.

"Oh! I thought you were N!" I said to her.

M said to me without much thought, "I do sound a lot like N,... except for the whiny part."

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Post #: 28
RE: In My Father's House - 7/4/2006 9:20:05 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Russ does a lot of work around the house. He is very handy at plumbing, electrical, yard work, carpentry, painting,and automachanics. He has always worked very hard at keeping things running, fixed remodeled, painted or whatever needs to be done.

The problem is that he has trouble finding the things that he needs to do his projects. This is very frustrating when you KNOW that you do indeed have that item. This is especially sad when he has a great big work shop and sTILL can't find what he needs. I felt so bad for him.

A few weeks before Father's day, I had a really strong desire to do something special to bless my husband. I decided that it would be a great blessing to him if I could get his workshop cleaned and organized.

At first, I got my mom to help me, but after a while I had to have Russ help me so that we could sort out and organize his stuff. It wasn't long after that that Fred and David joined us in the cleaning. We were all enjoying it so much that we didn't even notice when it was suddenly suppertime. We had basically worked the whole day through and didn't even realize it.

Russ now has a wood working area, and then he had the other bench and wall divided up into plumbing, electrical, and automotive. There was one area left though. We decided to let Fred have it for his tools and such and told him that he could decorate his area however he wants. I am glad that we did that. We didn't realize the impact that would have on Fred. It seems to have given him the proof that he needed that he indeed is a part of our family here.

A week or two ago, David decided to extend the work bench and create another area for him at the end of Fred's area. Russ got him going on it, but I don't think that he helped much. David and Fred both went to work making that bench out of the scraps found in the new scrap bin. The added leg is thinner than what I would have chosen, the bench isn't level, the top is made of scrap plywood that was fit together. David and Fred are so proud of it. David loves it and so do I.

That whole project was such a success that even I was in awe of it. You can't plan family togetherness like that. It just sort of happends at the most unexpected times. I started that to bless Russ and ended up being blessed so much that my heart could barely contain it. Russ was blessed. David was Blessed. Fred was blessed. Everyone was blesseed by that day. God is so good.


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Post #: 29
RE: In My Father's House - 7/4/2006 9:30:00 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Today we celebrated Sarah's birthday she is five years old today. She is growing into such a pretty little girl. She is also talking so well now. It is so good to be able to hear the her thoughts that she has been longing to tell us and our hearts have been braking to hear.

One thing that brought me up short today though was when I was helping Sarah read her card from my mom. It was signed from Grandma... and no Grandpa. Of course I didn't expect to see my dad's name on it. He had nothing to do with the gift and propbably doesn't even know that it is Sarah's birthday today. It was just another reminder. It was a short reminder though, and soon replaced with the happiness of a beautiful five year old girl.


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Post #: 30
RE: In My Father's House - 7/5/2006 5:13:12 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Father's day was particularly hard for me this year... actually, knowing that it was coming was hard. Every so often my birthday falls on Father's Day. Those were really special days for my Dad and me. We would often go out to eat together when that happened.

This year though, my Dad doesn't want anything to do with me. He is very angry. From the time that I realized that it fell on my birthday, I dreaded my birthday/Father's day this year.

To keep my my mind off it, Russ took us camping in the Adirondacks. It was a really nice site. I would love to go back there, but Russ isn't as keen on it. He was pretty disappointed. He wanted to go on a long hike with the kids, but the ground was too muddy to be able to hike the trails.

We had a really nice campfire, and cooked the best hotdogs that we have ever had over the flames. We had s'mores.

We got to see many areas that we needed to work on with the kids to teach them to be more self motivated and self sufficient.

We taught the kids how to play kickball. Even Rebekah was getting the hang of it. We had a lot of fun.

We also got to feed the ducks. When I first took the kids over to feed them, the ducks were nowhere in sight. As soon as the duck saw us they swam over as fast as they could. After a while two little duck families joined us as well. They were very tame. A couple of the ducks were very territorial. at one point one of the male ducks made the mistake of biting the neck of a half grown baby. That momma duck really got haver him. There was a lot of splashing, fighting and quacking. Then she chased him for quite aways out, leaving a wake behind her.

We had a wonderful time. We almost left early, because it was raining in the morning and there was nothing to do. we weren't sure if the rain was going to let up, but it did and it turned out beautiful.

There was a chipmunk there who also was very tame. I called to it, and to my suprise, he worked his way over the little stream, came running up to about 6 inches from me, climbed up on a rock and looked me straight in the eyes. Oh, how I wished that I had had something to give him to eat.

The trip was a great bonding time. We all had a wonderful time and built wonderful memories.


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Post #: 31
RE: In My Father's House - 7/7/2006 7:33:08 AM   
Ellie-Mae


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A Broken Heart Over Something That Isn't Even Real


Does anyone remember that really thin plastice that they used to paint pictures on, and when they get old they become brittle and break apart very easily? Lately, I have been having visions of scenes of the things that I loved most about my childhood painted on these screen-like plastic things. I am finally able to look back over them, and they bring back happy feelings. But when ever I reach out to touch them, they just crumble and blow away. It is like they were never there. It is very disturbing because I want to keep them, but if I try, they crumble away like they were never there.

I told my victim's advocate about it, yesterday after recieving even more disturbing news. She told me that it is true. they never WERE there. A lot of what made up the good part of my childhood weren't based on reality, but the way I chose to see it in order to survive. The foundations that I thought that I had all those years weren't really there.

When I was 16, God ripped those fake foundations right from under my feet and I plummetted down a very dark hole. I was very angry with Him for the next year and a half. He gave me a better foundation . My feet are on frirm ground. I am cemented in Him. I knew that I came out of that stronger and better, but now I can see why that experience HAD to take place. That foundation was like the sand on the beach. It is still very painful to watch it being washed into the ocean,... or is it cleansing?

What I didn't tell my advocate was that as those faded, pale pictures crumbled and blew away, I was able to see a bright, warm, grassy meadow behind them that I didn't notice before because the pictures were in the way. When God brushes away the cheap immitations that we cling to, He replaces it with something that is that is real and best.

God has never let me down. He has always given me the very best. Why is it so painful then to have Him blow away the drivel from my life when I KNOW that He has already replaced it with things that are better than I could have imagines?


Luke 12:32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.


< Message edited by Ellie-Mae -- 7/7/2006 9:14:35 AM >


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Post #: 32
RE: In My Father's House - 7/10/2006 8:47:01 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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NOTE TO SELF:

On April fools day this year, I want to get a thick but short piece of rope and put it under the wheel of Aunt Shirley's wheelchair when she is backing up. When she has run over it I will then cry out, pretending that she rolled over my toe.


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Post #: 33
RE: In My Father's House - 7/10/2006 9:43:17 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Rebekah was just laying in bed talking to Hannah on her play phone.

< Message edited by Ellie-Mae -- 7/10/2006 9:50:11 PM >


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Post #: 34
RE: In My Father's House - 10/11/2006 12:03:12 AM   
Ellie-Mae


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It has been quite a while since the last time I have posted here. A lot has happened!

I won't try to catch you up on everything, but I will say that we have been going through adoption classes. It has been a really stretching experience for me. It is hard to have your future in someone else's hands, especially someone that is not completely on the same page as us. They could decide not to let us adopt just because of the way they interperet my past, our faith, or a number of other things. It seems very subjective.

But then...

I find myself asking myself whose hands we are really in. Sure, DSS gets to decide whether or not we can have more children, but God is in control. He has set us up for this. He has blessed so richly in so many ways that points to this end. We are in God's hands. pure and simple.

I should be ashamed for having such little faith that I worry so much. At the same time, I can't help but feel good about the fact that I can feel God stretching me as a person. I feel good to know that that my Father knows what I am capable of and He knows how to stretch me as a person without breaking me.

Thank you for helping me to become the best that I can be, and for forgiving me and being patient when I fall. Please, continue to help me to be the person that you made me to be and to do the things that you made me to do.

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Post #: 35
RE: In My Father's House - 10/11/2006 10:09:09 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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We went apple picking today. We drove to this area where the autumn leaves just lit the hills like a bouquet of flowers. The trees really did look like giant flowers.

The place that we normally pick apples at was closed. There was a late spring frost that ruined the apple crop. While it did make us feel better about our own apples (we thought they were nasty looking because we didn't spray them this year), but it was really sad. How awful for this family owned farm. We went to another farm. Their crop was so bad that they were selling u-pick apples for a dollar a bushel. I tooks almost an hour to fill one bushel, and the apples will only be good for apple sauce. It was sad, but we had fun.

Russ pulled over to the side of the road on the way home, and cut me some cat tails. I had him cut some extras that the kids and I are going to pick apart tomorrow. I will be decorating my bedroom with them. As I look at them though, I am thinking of getting more to decorate the kitchen with. They are just so pretty.

The kids are in bed sleeping. I am so happy. They were all asleep by 9, except for Caleb who will just lay there quietly until he is sleeping. This is awesome since we have been struggling with kids that won't settle down at night lately. I would hear them running around way past 10. It was getting rediculous. I am glad for the quiet and the peace of mind that comes with knowing that your children are tucked in for the night.

Good night.

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Post #: 36
RE: In My Father's House - 10/12/2006 10:15:18 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Timothy and Sarah have been doing these rememberance books as a part of their BJU curriculum. I wasn't very thrilled when we first started. I like them so much that today I have started all the other kids on them. I gave them each a notebook that has a place to write on each page and a place to draw a picture on each page. When I told them that they were going to be doing journals, they were less than happy. When I showed them the books and told them what the first topic was, that they were only to write two or three sentences, and that they were to draw and color a picture for it,... I couldn't believe how happy they were.

The first page was about our "Autumn Drive" and the second one they did was about "Apple Picking". They really enjoyed it and are looking forward to doing more. I am really happy to find something like this that they enjoy. Of coures, Sarah and Timothy got to do theirs, which they always enjoy. I write theirs, but they draw their own pictures. I wrote one up for Rebekah as well, and drew her pictures to color. She was so thrilled to be like the big kids. She did a great job of coloring the fall leaves.

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Post #: 37
RE: In My Father's House - 11/8/2006 6:11:06 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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We got a call a few weeks ago telling of us a little brother and sister that are availlable for adoption. We have been so busy preparing for them. So busy, that I have become rather stressed out.

Today I found a way to relax inside and out. Painting. I am painting a picture for the boys bedroom. Sorry the pic is so huge. I don't know how to make it smaller.

I am trying to decide now if I should make the second fish exactly like the first or paint it green where it is blue on the other fish. hmmmmm... What do you think?



< Message edited by Ellie-Mae -- 11/8/2006 6:21:01 PM >


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RE: In My Father's House - 11/8/2006 9:41:17 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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I am not as happy with the next fish, but the kids like it and that is what counts. I did make it mostly green. Now all I have left to do is that clam and the eyes.



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Post #: 39
RE: In My Father's House - 11/29/2006 6:21:04 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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We had our visit from the county people today, to have our safety inspection and home study done, or so we thought...

The placement person with the county seems dead set against us moving forward with adoption. There were a string of objections raised, starting with a misunderstanding about the kids educational situation, and moving to our willingness/unwillingness to cooperate with the local government school. We were not giving up on what we wanted to do, and indicated a willingness to work with the school system if it was really necessary.

When these things didn't end the coversation, what it came down to was: They are not willing to certify us for more than one child, and would only complete the home study and all if we were willing to go along with that restriction. The "Six Kid Rule" is a regulation that they are using at this point to try to halt our process. We intend to show legal evidence that the "Six Kid Rule" does not apply to our situation.

The county has chosen to disregard their "Six Kid Rule" in the past, and we were told plainly today that she has no intention of doing so in our case.

I am not sure what the real objection is to our adoption process, but the regulation is the ground on which they are standing in resistance at this point. Our friend in a neighboring county, (who has 15 kids and counting, many of them adopted through the same process we are working with) is getting us some case law to refer to, and we will be in touch with appropriate people at the county to make our case for that.

In the meantime, we'll go to the hearing coming up to try to get the judge at that end to get the process going from that end, which may have to wait until we get things pushed through here. Our actual advocate with the adoption agency assures us that we needn't worry about this as long as our friend in the neighboring county is on the case with us.

Post #: 40
RE: In My Father's House - 12/1/2006 5:16:35 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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I, Russ, had a fairly reasonable conversation today with the Deputy Commissioner of our county DSS. The law is clear that the "Six Kid Rule" does not apply to adoptive placements, and once I indicated that I had knowledge of the law, she has backed down to a position of: "We feel that your home would be overwhelmed by the placement of two more children there and the turmoil that would be caused by this, and so we do not want to recommend such a placement". Since there is no evidence for this, (and given that they place children with single, working mothers and so forth all the time, and we have five adults in the home, four of which are home all the time) I feel this is a smokescreen for religious discrimination.

I understand that they will recommend what they see fit, but I don't think they can refuse to complete the home study if we don't agree, which is where we stand right now.

We made an appointment with the Deputy Commissioner and the person in charge of placements, for after our trip, and we can hopefully work something out then. We are prepared to go to the state oversight level if need be.

Also, I do feel that someone who demonstrates religious discrimination should not work in such a role with the county. I don't really want to go to court about that, but I am more than willing to threaten it. Hopefully, though, we can get on the same page at this meeting and clear this all up.

Please pray for this meeting, and for DB and DG who may be stuck waiting for these people to come around.


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Post #: 41
RE: In My Father's House - 12/13/2006 12:59:06 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Our hearing and visit with the kids went remarkably well. The kids got along great with everyone, and we got along well with the kids and foster parents great. The judge and caseworkers seemed impressed with us and our willingness to travel to attend, so we have made a good impression on that end. The caseworker has been in touch with us since then to talk about things, and everyone seems cooperative and helpful.

On the other hand, we had our meeting with our county officials today. The person in charge of placements stated that she is very early in the process of assessing our home, but at the same time has already decided that she will not recommend us for more than one child, and there seems to be no negotiating that point.

The deputy commissioner, on the other hand, seemed to be making reasonable progress in the conversation until the other person spoke up. We may be able to work with the county if we can get this one individual out of the picture somehow. This individual, by already deciding part of the final outcome of this assessment, has clearly exhibited prejudice in the case, and I hope that we can get an unbiased person to review and assess our home.

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Post #: 42
RE: In My Father's House - 12/14/2006 1:21:54 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Timothy:

"Mommy, when we were at Grandma's house, I didn't see Great Grandma. I miss her. Where was she?"


For those who don't know... Great Grandma Penner died Monday night on December 11th. She passed away peacefully with family. God has been so good.

We will ALL miss her.

With all the adventures that she had and all the time that she has spent with family, the only regret that she died with was that she didn't learn to drive so she could see even more people even more often.


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Post #: 43
RE: In My Father's House - 2/8/2007 7:52:27 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Grandma getting frustrated with David: David! What did I just say?

David: I don't know. You weren't listening either?

We all busted out laughing. Maybe it was the stress of the day getting to us, but leave it to David to lay out the one-liners.

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Post #: 44
RE: In My Father's House - 3/19/2007 12:24:25 PM   
Ellie-Mae


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Aunt Shirley's beloved cat of 18 years was put to sleep today. She could no longer swallow and had an infection in her mouth. They sent her home in a little kitty casket. We will bury her under the crabapple tree and plant flowers over her in the spring.

Sarah gets it. She has been trying to comfort AS by making sure she is all right and with lots of kisses and hugs. This comes after many tears yesterday because Sarah was missing Great-Grandma. It is turning out to be a rough day.

I have a migraine again.

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Post #: 45
RE: In My Father's House - 3/27/2007 7:37:06 AM  1 votes
Ellie-Mae


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We are still working on the adoption. Things feel like they are getting close. We fing ourselves wandering around the house finding things to keep us busy with preparations. yesterday, Russ installed some new curtain rods on the girl's bunk beds.

I have been searching for months for a set of quilts for the girl's room that we could afford. I wanted them to match but not be the same. I could often find two that matched but not three. A very dear friend of mine expressed a desire to make quilts for money. Well, the short of the long is that she is now making me three quilts and I got to pick out what they would look like! I am so excited. I am going to do more after that for the boys room too. Eventually, I am going to get one for our bed too.

I wonder if God ever looks at these things and say, "Well. look at that! I just took care of two birds with one stone!" Actually, He has probably done more with this than we will ever know this side of heaven. My Father is like that: He loves to bless us.

Luke 12:32 Fear not. little flock; It is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

BTW: I can't help but choke back tears whenever I think of this verse because I know that my father desires to give DB and DG good things too. It brings Him pleasure to do it... and He will do it.

_____________________________

Please do not PM me about this message, discuss it at the water cooler, or include it in your church bulletins. If you have questions, please keep them to yourself. ~Kerrlaw

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Post #: 46
RE: In My Father's House - 4/23/2007 1:00:56 PM   
Ellie-Mae


Posts: 3791
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
Status: online
Today is a beautiful day.

We had testing on Saturday. I felt so bad because I forgot to give Timothy his meds before we left and he couldn't make it through the test. We will have to finish it later. David is done, but Caleb still has more.

Timothy wet his pants twice today, so we are off to a great start there,

Sarah and Rebekah just had baths. they were supposed to get one last night but they fell asleep before I got them in there. They are planning on going out and playing in the dirt pile after lunch.

We have been watching a set of creation videos that we got for Christmas. the kids have been glued to them. There is Science...

I want to plant tiger lillies after Russ gets home tonight. I also want to get out of here and go shopping, but I can't remember what it was that I needed. I will probably remember at the most inconvenient time.

I just remembered one thing... 7 pillows for the children's beds.

I have a lot of burn trash building up... was Russ planning to pick up new barrels after he got home today??

It is Monday again, in 15 minutes it will be time again to make phone calls to keep update and push things forward with the adoption. We make them every weekday for probably two months now. I am so tired of making phone calls. The nice thing now is that we occasionally get calls and emails from other people. Our county and the children's agency don't like to call people, return phone calls and that kind of thing.

_____________________________

Please do not PM me about this message, discuss it at the water cooler, or include it in your church bulletins. If you have questions, please keep them to yourself. ~Kerrlaw

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Post #: 47
RE: In My Father's House - 4/25/2007 9:23:15 AM   
Ellie-Mae


Posts: 3791
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
Status: online
Yesterday, I had a pretty lousy day with a pretty lousy ending. My mom's fingerprints finally were ok'ed by the FBI, but AS's fingerprints were rejected again as unreadable. That is pretty much the last thing that we need. The fingerprint lady is trying to figure out if there is something more that we can do.

My desk top computers are having problems which is really rare. i think that one just needs to have newer internet browsers loaded... when we get the time. The other computer was plugged into a strip that kept blinking off every time we turned around or even moved. Steel finally had had enough and is now a mess. That is the computer I am on now, but it is still not working up to par.

My laptop still hasn't gotten back from the factory and we are having problems with the seller. This is the first time that we have ever had problems with someone on ebay. It doesn't come at a very good time either.

People from church invited my in-laws to prayer meeting and promised to pray over them. It was supposed to be special. They (our church) had forgotten that this week they were having prayer meeting at another church and let us know at 4:30 that they will not be able to do what they promised.

We were given a like-new mattress that we put on Rebekah's bed. Russ was taking up a piece of ply-wood to put the mattress on and took out my Noah's ark collector's edition of salt and pepper shaker animals that AS gave me toward the beginning of my marriage. It meant a lot to me. More than half of them were shattered into tiny little pieces and the ark shelf needs repair. I probably won't bother to replace it.

This morning, Russ and I had breakfast together and were sitting rather quietly and feeling quite depressed. I was looking at my little animal survivors this morning. They were sitting on the table. Finally I told Russ that i keep looking at the some of them and thinking how much they must miss their husband or wives. Russ cheerfully said how their were several pairs that were still together. I told him that the