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worry.... - 6/8/2008 12:31:12 AM
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rose7711
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Joined: 6/8/2008
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I m dating a man with unstable job, we love each other v much,...
but same time, i m worrying about financial, and I always worry this kind of thing and health care etc. shall i move on with him or shall step back?
I know there r couples never worry, just love and have faith in future....
but i feel so weak right now
< Message edited by rose7711 -- 6/8/2008 1:07:07 AM >
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RE: worry.... - 6/8/2008 1:49:54 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1451
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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When I was in the hospital having a baby, the lady laboring in the next bed to me was in terrible pain. She and her husband were trying to figure out if they could afford an epidural (the pain medication that kills the pain from stomach to hips) but they had no insurance and really couldn't afford it and they knew it. They loved each other but the excruciating pain went on hour after hour.
Love and faith in the future doesn't put a roof over your head and fix a broken down car and feed hungry children and pay hospital bills.
It used to be that when a man wanted to marry, he went to the lady's father and proved to him that he was financially able to afford to support a family.
If your love isn't motivated to get a stable job so he can get married, I doubt he'll be motivated by a suffering wife.
I'd pull back and tell him to not discuss marriage until he's ready to be a husband and father, including having a career. Then decide how many years you're willing to wait while he prepares or procrastinates. I'd call this a deal breaker.
_____________________________
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RE: worry.... - 6/8/2008 4:45:29 PM
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NealIRC
Posts: 68
Joined: 5/30/2008
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The original poster didn't mention the word marriage, and although the 2nd poster did, I think the original poster implies that.
Marry for love, not for money.
Or, date for love, not for money.
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RE: worry.... - 6/8/2008 6:13:16 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 789
Joined: 11/28/2005
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Lots of places are experiencing poor economy - jobs slow, layoff, factories closing etc... that is the case where me and my hubby live (he's the only one working steadily. Things here are slow - gas in this part of Canada hit one dollar and forty cent a liter!
Why are you worried about health care if you and him are only dating?
Unnecessary worrying isn't healthy, nor does it do you any good.
I'm not saying to walk around blind to reality but just worrying about things that don't apply to you at the time is needless - like you worrying about your boyfriend
who's works a limited amount of time - you are dating! Don't get too ahead of the situation yet... get to know the man, watch how he handles serious matters - if he isn't about working when there's work to be had - then you know this man isn't someone you'd want to be getting serious with or even marrying!
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RE: worry.... - 6/8/2008 7:52:43 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3240
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
When I was in the hospital having a baby, the lady laboring in the next bed to me was in terrible pain. She and her husband were trying to figure out if they could afford an epidural (the pain medication that kills the pain from stomach to hips) but they had no insurance and really couldn't afford it and they knew it. They loved each other but the excruciating pain went on hour after hour.
Love and faith in the future doesn't put a roof over your head and fix a broken down car and feed hungry children and pay hospital bills.
It used to be that when a man wanted to marry, he went to the lady's father and proved to him that he was financially able to afford to support a family.
If your love isn't motivated to get a stable job so he can get married, I doubt he'll be motivated by a suffering wife.
I'd pull back and tell him to not discuss marriage until he's ready to be a husband and father, including having a career. Then decide how many years you're willing to wait while he prepares or procrastinates. I'd call this a deal breaker.
I agree with every word of this...great post, Deemousie!
< Message edited by Kat_D -- 6/8/2008 7:58:53 PM >
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: worry.... - 6/11/2008 6:21:44 PM
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preserved
Posts: 1058
Joined: 6/12/2007
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You have to ask yourself a question...Do you love the man for who he is and how he makes you happy or love the man who has an unstable job...Since the two of you are not married...you have the option to back out and move on to connect with someone who is more stable.
Love is not all about jobs....You dating him knowing that he was with an unstable job?
Based upon what you've written...think you need to back away and seek the man who has the stable job...forget about love?
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RE: worry.... - 6/11/2008 6:25:02 PM
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YZGUY
Posts: 263
Joined: 3/9/2008
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Is it the job that is unstable, or the man who is unstable in any job??? If it is the job, not to worry. If it is the man, think twice (but don't worry - it is not good for you.)
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RE: worry.... - 6/12/2008 10:26:52 PM
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frances67
Posts: 130
Joined: 10/17/2006
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I know where you are coming from. I have worked hard to get where I am today (with the Lord's help). I have been to college for six years and now have a good, not great, paying job. I am able to support myself and have done so for the last several years. I don't care if my future husband makes less than me or if he is unemployed (due to a reason that he has no control over such as a layoff, etc.) but I do want him to be trying. I have no intentions of even dating a guy who will not work or quits every job he gets just because he gets angry or does not like it. I hope that does not sound bad.
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RE: worry.... - 6/16/2008 11:07:52 PM
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plush
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if you love someone should you let them go if you cn't give them what they want
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RE: worry.... - 6/16/2008 11:34:15 PM
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loveleee
Posts: 69
Joined: 6/6/2008
From: Southern Gal
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When me and my hubby got married, the financial part was the last thing on our minds. We knew we were meant for each other and we trust God every day to lead us and to provide. and of course He has done just that. 
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