I feel so hopeless. I want to die and I don’t see any good or reason to keep trying. My life has always been miserable no matter how much I try. My husband is hateful, insults and calls me names, then gaslights me and literally denies it immediately after. I feel crazy. He makes me look like the bad guy and tells everyone our business, but only making it look like it’s all my fault. I can’t go on anymore. I give up.
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I’m so sorry you’re walking through such deep pain. What you’re describing is real, and no one deserves to be treated that way. Please don’t face this alone. If you ever feel you might act on these thoughts, I beg you to call or text 988 (the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). They’ll connect you with someone right away who truly cares and will listen without judgment.
Your life is precious to God. You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and He has not forgotten you, even in this darkness. What your husband says does not define you. God sees the truth. He knows your heart, your tears, your faith. Jesus came for the brokenhearted, for those who feel unseen and unloved, and He promises: “A bruised reed shall he not break” (Isaiah 42:3).
If you can, reach out to a pastor or a trusted friend who can walk beside you. You need and deserve support, safety, and compassion. There are also domestic abuse hotlines that can help you make a plan to protect yourself. Please consider calling 800-799-7233 (the National Domestic Violence Hotline).
For now, here’s a short prayer you might hold onto:
“Lord, when I feel lost and unseen, remind me that You are near. Wrap me in Your peace, guard my heart from despair, and help me see the hope You have for my life. Give me strength to endure this moment and courage to reach for help. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
You are not alone. There is always hope. God has not finished your story yet.
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Dear friend In Jesus. God understands your needs and loves you greatly. Your life has true meaning. Prayers that you find safety during your time of need. Redemption shall be yours. Love in Christ. Amen.
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I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
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You describe my father, and I also behaved that way for a little while. I asked for Jesus to show me how I could become a loving, understanding, and respectful person and to dispel the fog that filled my brain, and in doing so, he guided me to the keto diet. I had no idea as a man that my clouded mind would result in anger and resentment for others. I also had no idea food high in blood sugars destroys testosterone and brain chemistry.
I ask Jesus to walk alongside KJVbible, hold her hand, talk with her, and help build a unique relationship. As you walk, reach over and embrace her husband, and, like you did for me, help him recognize that, to be a man, he first needs to be your friend and accept your counsel and guidance. I ask you, Lord, to focus on behaviors that lead to shame and sin, which her husband then takes out on his wife. Lord, I ask you to break through these barriers and open up those pathways within both of them to repent and let go of the demons that are clouding them and denying them a loving and respectful marriage. I ask you, Lord, to expose the demons that are chained to their souls and who are calling out to more demons to ever burden them. I ask you, Lord, to cast off the demons and to bring the demonic practices in their lives and walks that seek to reinfect them.
I know, Lord, that you have a plan for all of us and will always be there when we cry out and reach for you. We need your help now to assist this lost soul who sees only escape; we ask you to make a way.
In Jesus’s loving name, I pray, amen.
It might be helpful to cultivate a small portion of your life in which you feel you have some control. For example, if you were to play tennis or jog, you might find a break from oppression. If you were to undertake some artistic endeavor such as art, music, writing drawing or sculpting, you also might find enough space to give yourself a refuge.
Praying that you find strength in the Lord Jesus Christ to face the storm and to overcome it with his love. Remember what he suffered and went through to give us strength in the Spirit. Lean into Him and he will carry you. Your Father in heaven always has everything you need and He will provide a new way for you.
Please always call or text 988 (the Crisis Lifeline) if you are considering taking your life. A long-term free way to connect with others who may be in a similar cycle of being gaslit is Co-Dependents Anonymous. They offer online and in-person meetings all across the US. Psychology Today also provides resources to find support near you.
You are loved and adored and have purpose in this world!