# How is your relationship with your adult kids? **URL:** \ **Category:** Parenting\ **Created:** [October 8, 2024, 10:13pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029 "2024-10-08T22:13:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![leah.arthur](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/l/71e660/32.png) [@leah.arthur](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/leah.arthur)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 10:13pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/1 "2024-10-08T22:13:17Z")
![image](https://forums.crosswalk.com/uploads/default/original/1X/30affe91df148703d6d55faafb8f247110afcab1.jpeg) Are you close with your adult children, or are you finding it hard to relate to them? Are you struggling to adjust to their new boundaries as they start their own family? Or maybe you have a broken relationship that has led to estrangement. These are [3 common reasons for tensions between adult children and parents](https://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/3-reasons-for-tensions-between-adult-children-and-parents.html) and [5 things they still need from you](https://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/5-things-your-young-adult-children-still-need-from-you.html) even as adults. Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Ivan Pantic ---
**Author:** ![Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/historyprof/32/285_2.png) [@Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Historyprof)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 10:25pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/2 "2024-10-08T22:25:00Z")
Good relationships. I raised them to be decent adults, not perpetual children, as seems to be today’s preferred method. When they are ready to go I bid them a good life I didn’t cry or beg them to live at home and such. They didn’t see me sad. My motto was, after high school I would never offer advise unless it was asked for. Hard to do but I did it. I have a great relationship although we live far apart. They are well adjusted and in good marriages. Their marriage is none of my business. Their relationship with God is none of my business. Their employment is none of my business. UNLESS they include me I those areas. I don’t scold them or treat them like children. Pretty proud of my pups and pups-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Rev12_11)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 10:41pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/3 "2024-10-08T22:41:10Z")
> [@Historyprof](#): > > Their marriage is none of my business. > Their relationship with God is none of my business. I’m not a parent, but I beg to differ. I would say that you shouldn’t give any advice unless they ask for it, but you most certainly should be asking them about the state of their marriage which just so happens to tie into their spiritual state: Are they staying grounded in the Word individually and together? Do they pray individually and together? Remember, these aren’t just your kids; when they became Christians, they became your brothers and/or sisters in Christ. It’s your job to look out for them not just because you’re their mom, but because you’re they’re sister in Christ; we as Christians are to look out for each other. Christians are one big family. So, if anyone asks you how many siblings you have, you can say, “I have no idea. Some of them died 2000 years ago.” 😆 Seriously now, when I leave my parents’ home, I want them to do everything I just said. If they don’t, I’ll ask them to. I want them to be actively involved in my life until either I die, they die, or if that thing I’m not allowed to talk about for 6months happens. Don’t ask me what it is; I’m not allowed to talk about if for 6months. ---
**Author:** ![WrenFaithBridger](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/wrenfaithbridger/32/254_2.png) [@WrenFaithBridger](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/WrenFaithBridger)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 11:00pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/4 "2024-10-08T23:00:31Z")
I can summarize by saying that my 21-year-old daughter made a lovely birthday post to me on Instagram calling me one of her “best friends”. We’ve always been close. However, when she was about 12-ish she said that to me and I told her no. I said, “I love you. I love doing things with you, laughing and joking and playing games with you. But if you do something wrong, I’ll turn on a dime. When you’re an adult, we’ll revisit this conversation.” After she turned 19, I said to her, “We can revisit the conversation,” and she knew exactly what I meant. We’ve been incredibly close ever since. I have a similar relationship with her 19-year-old sister, who copyedits my devotionals. ---
**Author:** ![Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/historyprof/32/285_2.png) [@Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Historyprof)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 11:09pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/5 "2024-10-08T23:09:06Z")
You are not a parent, married, or an adult. The things you suggest will destroy your relationship with an ADULT child. Experience is a great teacher. Never stick your nose into anyone’s marriage. The only exception would be if it is abusive. Rev, you are just plain wrong on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Rev12_11)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2024, 2:58pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/6 "2024-10-09T14:58:51Z")
I didn’t say to ‘stick your nose’ into their marrige; I said > [@Rev12\_11](#): > > that you s **houldn’t give any advice unless they ask** for it, but you most certainly **should be asking them about the state of their marriage** which just so happens to **tie into their spiritual state** For example: I could ask you about your emotional state, or I could try to play the Psychiatrist and give you advice that you didn’t want/ask for. Major diff. ---
**Author:** ![Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/historyprof/32/285_2.png) [@Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Historyprof)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2024, 5:07pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/7 "2024-10-09T17:07:49Z")
You are way out of your lane on this topic. Please back down. ---
**Author:** ![Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Rev12_11)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2024, 7:34pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/8 "2024-10-09T19:34:44Z")
How am I out of my lane? Please explain (rhyme unintentional). ---
**Author:** ![Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/historyprof/32/285_2.png) [@Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Historyprof)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2024, 9:36pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/9 "2024-10-09T21:36:02Z")
The reasons I stated in my first response to you. It’s like never playing a sport but telling the athletes how to do their job. ---
**Author:** ![Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Rev12_11)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2024, 8:15pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/10 "2024-10-10T20:15:59Z")
I can assure you: I am in _no way_ trying to tell you how to do your job. How you do your parenting is entirely none of my business and I have no personal advice to give you. I’m talking to you as a Christian. We as Christians are just one big family. I’m saying that this is what _all_ Christians are supposed to be doing. Do you want the list of bible verses I drew my conclusions from? ---
**Author:** ![Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@Rev12\_11](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Rev12_11)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2024, 9:03pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/12 "2024-10-10T21:03:39Z")
I’m just throwing this out there to whoever will read this; I’m not directing it to anybody: I saw that there were a number of new topics that I hadn’t checked out yet. I read all the comments in each one. I came to this one, and one particular comment jumped out at me. You probably know which one that is. Anyway, I knew that what was said wasn’t completely right. So, I responded. I try my best to _never_ take a verse out of context or to bend it to back up my theory. That’s why, before drawing conclusions about a biblical text I: 1. Read the verse in context 2. Look up the original Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic words in Strong’s Concordance 3. Rewrite the verse using those definitions 4. Draw a conclusion 5. Ask the Holy Spirit if my conclusion is correct (He often corrects it through the Family 😉) 6. If He says ‘yes,’ I accept it whether I like it or not 7. If He says ‘no,’ I dismiss my conclusion whether I like it or not 8. Then I declare the truth no matter what. If you want the list of verses I drew my conclusions from, just PM me and I’ll give 'em to you. ---
**Author:** ![Narissa](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/n/c0e974/32.png) [@Narissa](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Narissa)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2024, 5:55am UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/13 "2024-10-13T05:55:59Z")
My relationships with my 2 older boys are non-exsistant. ---
**Author:** ![Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/historyprof/32/285_2.png) [@Historyprof](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Historyprof)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2024, 5:18am UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/15 "2024-10-14T05:18:25Z")
Sorry to hear this. I can’t imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Fritzpw\_Admin](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/fritzpw_admin/32/250_2.png) [@Fritzpw\_Admin](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Fritzpw_Admin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2024, 2:05pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/16 "2024-10-14T14:05:38Z")
> [@Historyprof](#): > > The OP asked a question if parents, which you are not. > [@MrE](#): > > In other words, you are so far out of your lane, that you can’t even see the road from the ditch you’re in. Guys, remember this forum is open to all who agree to abide by our Terms of Service. This topic is open to everyone under those same terms, regardless of age. Please use the block feature if you no longer wish to see someone’s responses. ---
**Author:** ![MrE](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/mre/32/1386_2.png) [@MrE](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/MrE)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2024, 2:30pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/17 "2024-10-14T14:30:20Z")
So if there is a thread asking women how they deal with menopause or monthly cycles-- I should feel free to comment? Got it. @Fritzpw_Admin no one is attempting to restrict a young person from participating in the Forum. Please don’t accuse folks of something inappropriate, when their comments are entirely appropriate. What is not appropriate is for a young person to be posting in a thread that simply doesn’t apply to his situation. “How is your relationship with your adult kids?” – is clearly intended for members who are parents with adult kids. This doesn’t invite children who are not yet adults themselves, to chime in with advice. If you want to take shots at people—and flag inappropriate posts— have better aim. ---
**Author:** ![Fritzpw\_Admin](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/fritzpw_admin/32/250_2.png) [@Fritzpw\_Admin](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Fritzpw_Admin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2024, 2:37pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/18 "2024-10-14T14:37:28Z")
> [@MrE](#): > > So if there is a thread asking women how they deal with menopause or monthly cycles-- I should feel free to comment? Correct, until we have a category that is “women only”, should you feel so lead, while ill-advised, you may. Likewise, @Rev12_11 participation in this thread is also permitted, yet ill-advised. ---
**Author:** ![MrE](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/mre/32/1386_2.png) [@MrE](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/MrE)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2024, 3:23pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/19 "2024-10-14T15:23:37Z")
That’s quite ridiculous. You should re-examine your policy if there actually is one that states that. It sounds more like you are making it up as you go along. Let’s have men compete in women’s sports and let men into children’s change rooms. Have some boundaries. I’m embarrassed for you. ---
**Author:** ![Fritzpw\_Admin](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/fritzpw_admin/32/250_2.png) [@Fritzpw\_Admin](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Fritzpw_Admin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2024, 5:31pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/20 "2024-10-14T17:31:03Z")
Happy to discuss further in DM. Back to the topic… ---
**Author:** ![WrenFaithBridger](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/wrenfaithbridger/32/254_2.png) [@WrenFaithBridger](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/WrenFaithBridger)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2024, 6:28pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/21 "2024-10-14T18:28:17Z")
I want to add that, just because someone doesn’t have children, doesn’t mean that they can’t have insight. My older daughter’s Godmother is a friend of ours who is the type of person that can best be described as, “look up ‘Mother’ in the dictionary & her picture is there.” However, she is a single older woman who never had children. There isn’t a mom at our church would wouldn’t automatically defer to her suggestions and advice, and not a single child at our church who didn’t love her completely. ---
**Author:** ![Fritzpw\_Admin](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/fritzpw_admin/32/250_2.png) [@Fritzpw\_Admin](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Fritzpw_Admin)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2024, 9:49pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-adult-kids/3029/22 "2024-10-19T21:49:34Z")
A post was merged into an existing topic: [Does the Bible Talk about Disabilities?](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/does-the-bible-talk-about-disabilities/3184/2)