Yeah I really like Tim too.
Peter
Q: Okay, but who was the first person in the Bible to own a car?
A: Jehovah. Because the Bible says he drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
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@t.christine23 this is us friend.
@xbaddie dying this is us
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Two women died on the same day and met St. Peter at the pearly gates.
Peter greets them warmly but is called away by a tiny Cherub. The Lord needed him. Peter excuses himself, promising to return as quickly as possible.
After a while Peter returns. He apologized to the women for causing them to wait.
The first woman understood: “Oh, St. Peter, think nothing of it; you are a Saint. Besides, time means nothing in the eternity of Heaven.”
Peter thanked her and said: “There is one thing you must do before I let you into Heaven: Spell ‘God.’”
The woman answered “G-O-D.”
“Wonderful” said Peter. “You may now enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Just then, another Cherub flies up, and once again Peter excuses himself because the Lord was calling for him.
When he returns he again apologizes but this lady was not so understanding and she shouts at Peter: “I don’t care if you are a Saint! I’m sick of waiting on you. When I was on Earth, I had to wait on my Husband, wait on my kids, wait on my Doctor, I had to wait in grocery stores, I had to wait in banks, I had to wait on the freeway… I’m tired of being made to wait. When I got to Heaven, I didn’t think I’d have to wait on you too.”
St. Peter calmy said: 'I appreciate that you have been honest and you have told me exactly how you feel. Be assured, your wait is now over. There is just one thing you must do before I let you enter Heaven."
“And what is that?” she demanded impatiently.
St. Peter smiled and said: “Spell Czechoslovakia!”
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Revelation 8:1
1 And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour…./KJV
Proof that when we go to heaven, the men get there 30 minutes before the women do…
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re: “In 2011. On vacation. In Mississippi. I left historical store. In the parking lot i became confused. I accidentally sat in another car. After minute, I realized it wasn’t my rental car. I quickly got out, and got into my rental car. I was really embarrassed.”
I don’t get it, but then again I’m not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.
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