This question is in regards to your reactions and responses to situations before and after you truly coming to Christ.
here is an example from personal experiences.
Somebody says or does something to me, and I feel disrespected.
my old self would escalate, argue, fight.
the new me let’s it go, tries to discuss things calmly, or fix the situation.
your thoughts?
I have noticed that I react differently than I used to. This is transformation. WHen you walk with the Lord, you will be transformed. If you are not transformed, then you are not walking with the Lord.
exactly, it didn’t happen over night for me but, I find not just my heart, but the way I think and view things changing. I find my emotions coming out more, to the point of a book or movie making me cry. Lol, I can’t watch The Chosen without tears.
I never used to be this way, but I am enjoying the new me.
I was married for 26 years so I’ve watched a lot of chick flicks when it was her turn to pick the movie. She used to cry or tear up in a lot of movies, and there I was, making fun of the whole thing. Ao after the divorce and my accident where I got hurt (and the Lord saved me) and I knew it so pressed in and the Lord began teaching me about Love and Compassion, and I ate it up.
And I remember the very first time that I watched The Passion of the Christ and it hit me hard. I wept during that movie. I had never done that before, ever. I understood that the Lord was changing my heart and I myself was changing into the new creature…
last week, one night, I read a book called “Joey”, about a blind horse who helped a lot of people, at first I was like, okay a novel about a horse.. I cried so much lol.
and don’t let a movie have a puppy. I’m cooked XD
Yes, I’ve changed. There’s still a lot more that needs changing. I can see it in myself and there’s not a darn thing I can do about it, but at least I’m now able to see it. Before I always thought my reactions were justified. If I was angry, I had good reason to be angry. I saw only my point of view in situations and everyone else was wrong.
But now I see it differently. Maybe I can’t seem to change it, but I know the One who can and so I pray about it. Trying to change yourself is a hopeless task. Been there. Done that. I also know in a more clear way that I’m a sinner. The Bible agrees with me. (1 John 1:8) I never used to think of myself that way. I was great at justifying myself.
I know more clearly my great need of Jesus and that in Him I am a child of God. I love the Lord. I need the Lord. All these things; my perspective, my ego, and what Jesus has done for me, has changed.
“Reactions, do you find yourself changing how you respond to situations?”
I’m still working on it. Anger, along with a few other things, was a demon that was difficult for me to overcome. It took two very prominent situations in my life to show me the reality of the situation. Not the cause, but rather the effect.
Now I’m 310. I used to go to the gym. I worked out. I have an extremely high tolerance to pain. My wife tells me all the time that she doesn’t think I know my own strength. Now imagine, couple all that with a blind, unthinking RAGE, with one purpose. Destroy whatever is the target of that wrath. Oh, I’ve destroyed many inanimate objects. From household items to cell phones, to cookware, and even a car. Not joking. Over the past 10 years, yes, I have scared my Wife. I have scared other family members. My kids, if they were to be honest, will tell you, Daddy is scary when he gets angry.
As a side note, I want to share something that helps me keep my anger in check around my kids. I believe it truly came from God. It was my boy, Eli. He is a mini-me: a strong and fearless kid. At a birthday party, he fell into a coffee table and cut his face. He simply wiped the blood away and went back to playing. When the host asked him if she could clean up the cut and suggested that he might need to get it checked out, this little boy, just four years old at the time, looked her in the eye and said, “It’ll heal.” And off he went.
One day, I got angry with him. I sent him to his room and went in after. I raised my voice a bit, and I could feel the tension rising inside me. Then, I looked into his eyes and saw true, pure fear. In that moment, I felt a revelation in my spirit: “I am it.” Think about that. I am everything to him. I am his Alpha and Omega, his love, his provider, his protector, and his comforter. Yet, here I was, scaring him, knowing that he sees no hope. To him, there is nothing greater than Daddy coming in to save him. Are you following me?
Whenever there is a ghost in the room, a monster under the bed, or the bogeyman in the closet, and there’s a strange knock on the door or a stranger out somewhere, where do your kids turn? They turn to you. You are their haven. Just as we should see our Heavenly Father, they see us in that light. But what happens when it is you who is coming after them? Where is the hope?
So that has helped me. Being a Child of God is helping me. I read things like.
> “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:19
I have read and claimed the following truth: it does not matter what anyone does to you; nothing compares to what God will do to them. remember being used and mistreated in a previous job. I had the option to attack the person, to sue them, or to react in many other ways. However, I chose to embrace this perspective, forgave them, and within a year of leaving, the business was sold, and the person who had abused me was fired. God handled everything. I simply forgave and moved on.
This is why, when we become children of God, it’s essential to adopt the right mindset. Will we still experience anger? Yes. Will negative events still occur? Absolutely. However, we no longer need to worry. We now have a better way to navigate these challenges.
> “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26
I’m still working on this.
> “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20
Without God? I would probably be dead or in jail. This is why I no longer lean on my understanding but always look to God.
Peter
That’s right, whoa your post reminded me that, I can’t remember the last time I got mad at someone for cutting me off in traffic. I used to road rage quite a bit and throwing things back and forth between cars and stuff. Now when I drive around and someone cuts me off, I find myself making excuses for them. Whoa, that guy is probably trying to get home fast to a sick child or his wife is pregnant or something…I hadn’t yet really put that together but I guess I am transforming more than I realized I was.
Always, always respond, never react.
J.
I have had similar experiences regarding anger, it is a huge obstacle, I think I am close to conquering it, I still get angry, but I let it go and never carry it around anymore.
I had a similar situation to yours in that moment of clarity when you cause a loved one fear, unintentonaly, only not with a child, I have not been blessed with fatherhood yet, but with a parent, during a discussion, well more of a family intervention in regards to the woman I was dating, about her influence over me, her alcholism, abuse of me, etc which I didn’t see then.
They said I scared them because they saw for a moment that old look in my eye of cold rage, but were relieved and proud it was only a momentary flicker, yet it scared them enough they thought I would snap and told me later on when I used to get that look they feared for their life.
That hurt and made me see with full clarity, who I had been and was a strong reminder that Gods grace helps tremendously in how our hearts and selves continue to develop on this journey, there is always more to learn and grow from.
This, I was without God and experienced both.
It always amazes me when people use that expression, because incarceration and death brought me to God and led me away from darkness.
What’s the difference?
A reaction is immediate and largely unprocessed, it is driven by impulse, emotion, or instinct, often triggered by something said or done, and it tends to bypass careful evaluation, so the person is being carried along by what they feel in the moment rather than governing it.
A response, by contrast, involves deliberation and restraint, where there is a pause, even if brief, in which what has been heard is weighed, interpreted, and brought under some controlling principle, whether that be reason, conviction, or in a biblical framework, submission to truth.
In simple terms, a reaction says, “this is how I feel, so this is what I say or do,” whereas a response says, “this is what I feel, but this is what is right, so this is what I will say or do.”
Scripture aligns more with the concept of responding rather than reacting, because it consistently calls for measured speech and self-control, as seen in James 1:19[1] where the sequence itself implies restraint before expression.
J.
Good answer Brother, we’re on the same page then.
It occurs to me that the Lord was probably teaching me this very principle all those years that I was not walking with him but I did carry a pistol. Having that much responsibility on one’s hip demands closer attention and so it goes most of the time there is some warning that a bad situation is brewing and I seen it coming before it got there. Almost like the presence of the pistol gave me more time to think and encourage the situation towards a more peaceful outcome. I have had a lot of close calls and actually never did have to fire a round. Well, one time one shot, but that was a dog attack and a warning shot into the dirt in front of him made him want to go home.
A reaction would have shot the attacking dog. A mindful response spared his life, and the owner showed his appreciation for saving the dog by buying a sturdy tie out chain so he wouldn’t attack me walking by anymore!
And, we wrestle not against flesh and blood so I have to praise the Lord for never having to shoot anyone! It isnt them anyway but the demon behind them. And that’s exactly how the Lord is. He has helped me more than I realize and has shown me a pattern of, last minute never late. Yep, you said a mouthful Brother! Respond, don’t react. I like that.
I’ve only watched it once. I don’t think I could watch it again.
That is one of the hardest parts. We can SAY we forgive, or I’m not going to let this get me, but then you carry it around and play the event over and over in your mind. If we are truly going to give it to God, we have to actually open our hands and let it go. I’m glad to hear you are almost there.
Peter
Thank you, and yes letting it go is such an ease of burden, carrying around negative emotions to me is like being filled with poison, over time it eats away at you and consumes you.
healthier to just let it go, laugh it off, and smile in the place of anger. Atleast thats how I do it, I find humor to be the best replacement/band-aid for most negative emotion.
This shows discernment sister @Joanne.1966,
J.
Before @BetterDays Introduced me to christ I use to react more instead of responding. But, now I respond more instead of reacting GLORY BE TO GOD.
Glad your here brother 
, and trust me you have made so much improvement, I’m proud of you! be ready for bible study and working out tonight!