Sin or survival?

General Faith
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My friends, I am a sinner. I have sinned, I do sin, I can’t seem to stop. I know sin separates me from God, and His ultimate goal is that we become holy as His Son, but I think this is impossible, especially in jail. Let me explain.

The Bible says to respect those in charge; well, those in charge of me are completely and utterly evil. I break their laws non-stop just to live. Me being on this forum is illegal. I have to use broken old razors to cut my nails—illegal, but I have no other options. I clean my ears with an old pen cap, also contraband. Yesterday, I stole a blanket from the deputy’s desk because mine was stolen weeks ago, and I was freezing. I go through the trash sometimes to find food. I steal loose socks from the laundry cart. In fact, most of my clothing is bought or stolen because they refuse to provide replacements when mine wear out or are stolen. I haven’t had underwear in over a year. My captors want me to sit on concrete or a toilet 23 hours a day. Without fail, I snatch a chair from the day room all the time. I want to sit like a human, not a dog. Honestly, I have ZERO respect for law enforcement at this point, and I have told them time and again when they punish me, “I will respect your rules when you start obeying your rules.”

None of that makes me even feel remotely guilty, no more than a starving man stealing food. I do feel guilty when I get angry and curse, even though cursing is the official language in jail. I really feel guilty when I forget to give thanks for my food or look lustfully at one of our female guards. I feel guilty when someone asks me for food and I have none to spare.

I want to live as God desires, but is it even possible? I know I am under grace and mercy through the blood of Jesus, but how can I ever expect to serve my purpose in here loaded down like I am? “Jailhouse religion” is highly disrespected by cops and inmates alike. My argument is if you can’t seek God at the end of your rope, when should you seek Him?

I’m probably just venting. It is so frustrating to have this desire to serve the Lord and preach His word, but no one will listen to me because I can’t be perfect. Satan’s followers have slightly higher standards than the Vatican does for pope selection. When you sin around them, they make sure you know it!

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What is the listed/unlisted under your post?

J.

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an oopsy from wifi lag

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You should know that those of us who are not under such harsh conditions feel guilty at times too. We say or do things that make us feel shame, and we know better. You’re circumstances are unique, but how you feel about it is not.
Who of us can say how we would behave or be in your place. I have nothing to complain about and yet I constantly disappoint myself and have to ask His forgiveness. Venting is ok. More than ok. At times venting is all we have. David vented big time and God considered him a man after His own heart. Venting is just being honest about where you are and how you feel.
I respect you, and I admire your faith in that environment. Perfection is not possible this side of heaven. Two steps forward and one step back seems to be the norm for most people.
You love God and He loves you. You belong to Jesus and He has you tight. It will be ok one day. I’m so glad you’re here. Be strong in Him when you can and be weak in Him when you can’t.

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You are likely thinking of Romans 13:1,

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.”

Or perhaps 1 Peter 2:13,

“Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme,”

This is totally true and is totally Biblical. However, the blank-check obedience to rulers stops completely the moment an earthly leader demands that a believer violate God’s law. The definitive boundary line is drawn in the Book of Acts. When the ruling council (the Sanhedrin) legally ordered the Apostles to stop preaching about Jesus, Peter and the apostles flatly refused, stating: “We must obey God rather than human beings.” Acts 5:29

This establishes a clear hierarchy of authority. Absolute, universal, and unwavering delegated authority of Earthly rulers is conditional, or valid only until it contradicts the Supreme Authority.
If a leader commands you to do something God forbids, murder, lie, worship an idol, or forbids you from doing something God commands, justice, worship, truth, disobedience becomes a spiritual duty.

The scriptures are full of heroes celebrated precisely because they refused to follow evil leaders:
The Hebrew Midwives Exodus, when Pharaoh commanded them to kill all newborn Hebrew boys. They feared God, disobeyed the king’s direct order, and lied to protect the children. God blessed them for it.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused King Nebuchadnezzar’s decree to bow to his golden idol, willingly facing the fiery furnace instead.

Daniel in Daniel 6: When Darius signed a law banning prayer to anyone but himself for 30 days, Daniel immediately went to his open window and prayed to God as he always did, resulting in the lions’ den. The biblical model for dealing with corrupt or evil leaders isn’t violent anarchy, but principled, courageous resistance. The early Christians showed respect for the office of the ruler, but they chose prison, exile, and martyrdom before they would compromise their allegiance to God.
Peter

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THANK YOU @PeterC I had this very discussion with an elder is bible study group over a year ago. He staunchily believes that we HAVE to obey our government. I said no, we don’t, because they are evil. He said that God appointed them so we have to obey them. I said no, because they are evil. I will NEVER obey evil.

So, thank you for your reply. I needed to read that today to be reminded of who is actually in charge, and it isn’t our crazy prime minister, or Trump, or Davos, or any worldly power..is it :wink:

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