It’s hard to rest in the Lord and be still when the pain of losing my husband of 45 years is so crushing. It’s hard to get up in the morning and it’s hard to thank God and it’s hard to trust God and it’s hard to trust anybody. The last time I felt safe and the last time I trusted anyone was my husband before he died. I can’t see past or through the pain and I can’t feel anything but the pain. I don’t have the strength to believe with all my heart and soul like I used to. I get up in the morning and I read the scriptures and I start to feel calm, but then the rest of the day it just goes downhill and I go to bed crying again.