Majority of my life has been a mystery from the start. My mom, youngest of 10-12 children who met unfortunate deaths not told by her last 2 sister who were jealous of her marriage 2 a good man. Before their union her sisters would charge her to use a comb. His family didn’t think she was good enough for him. Afterwards she had what was back then a nervous breakdown. It was due to her unconventional giving birth to my then 11 year older brother was 1 story. The other is her sister’s torturing her mind with suspicion that her husband was cheating on her. The doctor who birthed my brother suggested not to have any more children or this would happen again. It did when she had me & had to spend more rehabilitation in & out of mental hospitals or on meds. Most of the times she was alright but never really had close bond with her relatives other than her one sister I’d spend summer visits. It was always a split relationship between who liked whom from my dad & brother didn’t care for the sister I got to love & enjoy or my 11 year older brother grew up loving the other sister who died before my time. Since my dad’s family didn’t care for my mom & his brothers took advantage of him while possibly jealous of how much he cared and did things for his mom, we lived on the opposite side of town. Both sides of family’s mom’s had 10-15 children, midwives but different life outcomes. My dad’s mom lived long time married with her children but mom didn’t even know her dad. Never heard about where the rest of her family ended up. Mysterious! I tried to make an effort at 1st to produce my own family twice with a child from each but seems like history repeats itself where one child & their family was close (even being divorced from their dads) while the other child & family treated me as though they rather had somebody else for their son. I do believe his mom turned my child against me that’s why over the years she or her children communicates with me. The only relative in my life is the other one but is more closely tied to his wife’s family who do not contact me. Today the 1 cousin who responds basically “hey cuz” after try reaching out by sending texts to people on call list. THAT’S IT! I was blessed with a few longtime friends to talk with but not come to visit me. I’ve made the efforts to send thoughtful gifts out to all and visit when I had a car. The only one who considers doing same for me is.my son like twice a month within an hour having to jet off to activities with his children, wife or job. It’s hard hearing 
other people togetherness celebrating life when my relatives mainly notify about someone passing & even seem to get insulted if I don’t show up! Losing hope if anybody’s heartfelt concerns or actions will change as I hear only God can do. Since 20 years have gone along with immediate family & close friends along the way, I’ve traveled the road of my mom giving into behavioral therapy but the counselors or less attainable & meds feel no longer needed to be on the psychologist recommend I gradual ween off of them. Even her time has been cut down to once a month who now does both talks & meds. I wonder if I made right choice going to them, suggested by few other friends who did at least have their family to lean on. Feel as if I’ve been a foster child most of my life. Going on 72 the future with family interaction has a dim outlook at this time.