# Walking Alongside a Loved One Who is Deconstructing Their Faith **URL:** \ **Category:** General Faith\ **Created:** [September 28, 2026, 2:15pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/walking-alongside-a-loved-one-who-is-deconstructing-their-faith/20650 "2026-09-28T14:15:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DaughterOfEve24](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@DaughterOfEve24](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/DaughterOfEve24)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2026, 2:15pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/walking-alongside-a-loved-one-who-is-deconstructing-their-faith/20650/1 "2026-09-28T14:15:57Z")
How do we balance providing support while being strong in our own beliefs? How do we allow space for doubt while having the wisdom to know what to say when? I think this can be especially difficult when it’s a spouse. You have to let that person change and grow and you have to let go of thinking you can or should control their beliefs. Yet, we are still called to speak the truth. How would this look on a practical level? Have you walked with a spouse or close friend who has a lot of doubts or who is deconstructing their faith, or maybe even left the faith? > **[Help! My Loved One Is Deconstructing Their Faith - Topical Studies](https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/help-my-loved-one-is-deconstructing-their-faith.html)** > > Deconstruction is extremely personal. Your loved one is reevaluating beliefs they’ve held at their core. God alone knows the depth of transformation taking place. He sees every hidden wound and hears each unspoken question. He longs to meet them with... ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Leiter](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/bruce_leiter/32/2575_2.png) [@Bruce\_Leiter](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Bruce_Leiter)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2026, 7:23pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/walking-alongside-a-loved-one-who-is-deconstructing-their-faith/20650/2 "2026-09-28T19:23:47Z")
@DaughterofEve24, I have a relative who has never felt a connection with God, though he grew up in a Christian environment. You are right to say that we must not try to control anyone else’s beliefs, because control is not love. On the other hand, God has called us to be witnesses of what we believe and have experienced about God and the Bible without trying to talk them into having faith. We need to serve and show love for them while witnessing as God gives us opportunities. Above all, we need to pray persistently for them, because only God can change them; we can’t. ---
**Author:** ![BobEstey](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/bobestey/32/1650_2.png) [@BobEstey](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/BobEstey)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2026, 9:53pm UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/walking-alongside-a-loved-one-who-is-deconstructing-their-faith/20650/3 "2026-09-28T21:53:03Z")
One thing you can do is set a good example. ---
**Author:** ![Who-me](https://forums.crosswalk.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/w/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Who-me](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Who-me)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2026, 6:38am UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/walking-alongside-a-loved-one-who-is-deconstructing-their-faith/20650/4 "2026-09-29T06:38:54Z")
I agree with the points raised in the article. People who walk away from faith often do so because they have been hurt . They need to be hrard, they need justice, understanding and time. justice could be costly for you, Think about it. Your child, friend etc has been hurt by a situation in your church. T many churches sham spiritual abuse not only exists but is brushed under yhe carpet. It is not dealt with. So it happens to your child/friend. The church does not deal with it and you see this person leave. How do you respond? Do you help them go to seek accountability from the church? Do you stand with them? When there is no accountability, when what happened is dismissed, what do you do? Leave that church? Leave what until then was a spiritual home" How do you help them search through what they believe? Being there steadfast for them. Being the sounding board if they need to vent frustrations, being ready and willing to go through explaining what you believe with them. Two questions I keep raising. What do you believe and what evidence do you have for that belief? ---
**Author:** ![Pater15](https://forums.crosswalk.com/user_avatar/forums.crosswalk.com/pater15/32/3230_2.png) [@Pater15](https://forums.crosswalk.com/u/Pater15)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2026, 2:29am UTC](https://forums.crosswalk.com/t/walking-alongside-a-loved-one-who-is-deconstructing-their-faith/20650/5 "2026-10-01T02:29:45Z")
> [@Who-me](#): > > What do you believe and what evidence do you have for that belief? **Right on!** In my opinion, apologetics can be quite powerful in salvaging someone’s faith. From my own experience, the reason I couldn’t ultimately deconstruct my faith is that I honestly and deeply believe that there is no rational explanation for our existence other than an all knowing all loving all powerful God. Praying for you and your family - strength and perseverance.