Lately ive been really struggling, especially with my impulses. i live at the bare minimum, and all humans are creatures of comfort. but since i don’t exactly have “comfort”, i have to find it in things like marijuana, vapes, frequent m4sterbation, self-harm, etc. but ive continued these cycles for the longest time, since i was 12. back when my mom taught me that all priests are rapists, and churches are just a KKK community. back when she made me snap a cross in half because she was ashamed that i “wanted to be one of them” and that “christians will never love their neighbor if their neighbor is a f4g""
so my question is: will god still love me even though it will takes years of recovering, healing, and therapy? will he still be there even if i relapse, or struggle, or derail from faith for a while? i believe in him. but manic episodes try to end that. like how kanye west went from being a musician to a neo-nazi due to his bipolar. and had to apologize for his mania.
“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Mathew18:21-22
If Jesus commands us to do this, even though we are evil, how much more do you think God, who is Holy, will forgive you?
He forgave Saul for murder. He forgave all of us by coming and dying for us. You do have to remember this. These things, and these temptations, will enter your mind. This is not a sin. Actions are when it becomes sin.
“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.” James 1:14-16
Some advice? Do not dwell on those thoughts.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8
It will not be easy. For the flesh still craves all these things. This is why you have to put them out of your mind. “Take every thought captive.” Another hard truth to think about is this. You may have to change you envirorment. Bad company can and will corrupt you.
God’s love for you is not in question here. He loves you Mr.max. What is affected by sin is our fellowship with God. It’s hard to have a true and intimate relationship with the Father who loves us when our sin comes between Him and us. That’s probably why you’re wondering if He still loves you.
The remedy for our sin is found in 1 John. We confess it and He not only forgives it, but cleanses us from it. To confess is more than just spouting the words. It’s a heart condition. We look at what God says about what we’ve done and we come into agreement with Him. At the heart of this agreement is a change of mind. We see our sin for what it is. Rebellion against God who loves us and wants what’s best for us.
Not having comfort in your life is not an excuse to sin. I understand how difficult that might seem and I’ve been guilty of seeking my own comfort in the past. I know what I’m talking about and you must feel some guilt or you wouldn’t even be writing. To say that recovery will take years is almost to give up before even trying. Maybe it will and maybe it won’t. Don’t say it will because that leaves your Lord out of the picture.
I think what’s best for you in this season is to grow your knowledge of God. Get yourself an easy to read translation of the Bible and spend some time in it. And of course, be in prayer. Talk to God the way you talk to us. Just speak to Him and from your heart. I will pray along with you.
the temptation to sin is always with us and we always have a choice of to give in or to resist as
1Cor 10:**13 **No temptation[c] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[d] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[e] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Says.
If you want to stop, you can, it won’t be easy, but it is possible.
Will God still love you?
What will convince you that he loves you?
Jesus died and rose again to save you from hell
What if you relapse. Then return to God and tell him what you feel about relapsing.
1John1:9 God is faithful and will forgive us our sins.
God knows what you are like, absolutely every thing and strangely he still loves you. Grasp that fact, that while you hated Jesus, he died for you, to bring you to God.
Do you really think Jesus is going to let you go?
You are alive and able to worship God, repent of sins etc unlike those who are dead.
You are concerned for your eternal future, merely being concerned is a sign God loves you, those who aren’t concerned are heading for hell.
i have the choice, but when im in a situation where i have nobody to speak to and im under constant fight-or-flight, its hard to break free from these sins. they’re my only sources of comfort.
i get told that a lot by people, so maybe.
ok, so when i tell you i get 4 hours of sleep, babysit for 6 - 12 hours depending on the day, get emotionally abused and physically threatened every day – dealing with PTSD from molestation, witnessing domestic abuse, ALMOST witnessing a murder, being a victim of child abuse, and every-day emotional abuse, living with physical illness (such as POTS, which is like an iron deficiency but it causes you to faint), living with psychotic illness, living in a house infested with ROACHES – which, knowing that some crawl into my mouth while i sleep is terrifying, and having to just… deal with it with the 5 hours of free time i get at the literal middle of the night??? sure, its not an excuse. but oh my god, its reasonable. its reasonable that i turn to s3x and cheap highs to keep myself out of the padded rooms. i just have to make it 3 more years and i’m OUT of this place.
i was taught that harming myself is a sin, and god doesn’t answer prayers if you’re committing sin.
I’m not making light of your situation. I can’t even imagine what you have to live with, but I know others have done it. Remained faithful to the Lord and loved Him through their trouble. Take Job for instance. He lost his possessions, lost all his children at once and then lost his health. He was in constant pain from the sores all over his body. He had no idea why this was happening and through it all, he never went looking for sinful things to comfort himself. Then there’s Corrie ten Boom. For hiding Jews during WW11, she was sent to a concentration camp. She writes about what she went through and the death of her sister in that camp. Her suffering was at the hands of other people. God got her through it.
So it is possible and its possible for you too. It’s possible by the hand of God. Work on your relationship with Him. I’m not making light of it. What you describe is horrible. I’m rooting for you. I’m praying for you as well.
Your answer YES, you are his child, he loves you. King James Bible Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.
Completely false. It seems like you keep dwelling on the past. I understand the present has its challenges; however, you also have Jesus. Sometimes, shutting the door on our past is one of the hardest things to do.
Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit are with you. If you have repented, yet keep falling, but are trying to overcome, that is not when God shuts you out; it is when He is the closest to you. Like Peter sinking in the stormy seas, Jesus is standing there with His hand out. Take it.
Yes. God still loves you…fully, patiently, and without conditions. Healing taking years, relapsing, or struggling does not make Him leave; He is steady even when you are not.
Your trauma and mental health struggles do not disqualify your faith.
God is not offended by your need for therapy or support. He often works through them.
If all you can do is keep turning back, even slowly, that is enough. God stays with wounded people.
@Mr.max1192025 If I may, I suggest you check Celebrate Recovery. There is a group based on it in my church and I have several friends who have found it very helpful. If there is not a chapter near you, they have Zoom meetings as well.
May our loving Lord help you find the healing you need and want.
We must figure out what we are not before we come to realize who we are.
The time spent going in circles again and again helps to purify us and prepare us to move forward into something new.
Revelation requires a dark night of the soul to be seen, a metaphor to be gleaned, a journey to be understood, and a return so others can learn.
***
LOVE is Eternal and exists beyond all space and time. It is not a mortal thing that begins and ends, lives and dies. But all things known as love by man pales in comparison to THAT. For we are KNOWN before we know it and KNOWN long after we have passed. And while all other things may forget us after we have left, LOVE recalls us and calls us back.