I remember at the age of seven, my mom had made me skip dinner for hitting her and swearing at her. i had undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder, and was running low on food and sleep. As i was laying down for bed, the lights were decently dimmed and i was close to sleeping. but suddenly i saw a tall, skinny shadow figure with orange dots for eyes walking towards me. i couldn’t move. i tried, but my body felt confined and heavy. and as its hand started to reach for me, i did all i could do at the time. scream for help. but as i did, it disappeared slowly, but fully vanished when my grandpa had entered the room. from that day forward, i was impulsive, greedy, unhealthy, unhygienic, and i felt changed. i felt no remorse. at only age 8 i said I’d drown my brother in a pool with me. for a double suicide.
months after that incident i was put back in a mental hospital, and i had a similar experience. except this time, it wasn’t a shadow figure. it was a blurry silhouette of a man. like drawing a person using the blur tool in a photo editor. it walked up to me, and i was in that same situation where i couldn’t move. but i didn’t wanna scream for help because they’d probably make me sleep in the padded room with my ankles confined if i did so. but instead of it reaching for me, it came close to me, disappeared, then i felt warm arms hugging me. i didn’t know what was happening, but i did know they gave me the wrong medication that day – used to treat seizures and brain activity rather than emotional outbursts. but since then, whenever i was sad, i’d feel the same sensation of arms that weren’t there, wrapping around my shoulders and arms.
Does anyone have similar experiences? Do you know if this is a normal mental illness trait, or a paranormal encounter? a satanic encounter? it’s just been bugging my mind lately.
Once Satan was banished from heaven, he did not go to hell, however. He, along with 1/3 of the angelic hosts that went along with his prideful attempt to usurp God’s throne, were given limited authority on the Earth. The apostle Paul refers to Satan as “the god of this world” who blinds the minds of those who do not believe (2 Corinthians 4:4), and the “commander” or “ruler” of the power of the air or unseen world at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God (Ephesians 2:2). Jesus, himself, refers to Satan as “the ruler of this world” (John 12:31).
Satan is alive and active in the Earth today. Christians must understand this because if we think Satan is bound in hell, we will surely fall victim to his vices. What does Satan do in his spare time? He prowls around, like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (I Peter 5:8). Over and over again, we are commanded to stay alert and be aware of his devices.
This brings us to question, “What is an enemy attack and what isn’t?” Before we unpack spiritual warfare, let us first think of natural warfare. In every battle, there are at least two opposing teams or sides. Each side has an allegiance to a way of life and a commander. Each side is fully aware that there is one mission: destroy the opponent. If we do not understand that the devil’s plan is to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10), we will live unwisely and will be quickly annihilated by our enemy.
Spiritual warfare can be defined as opposition from the kingdom of darkness to thwart the purposes of God. When Jesus foretold his disciples of his need to go to Jerusalem to be killed and resurrected, Peter, one of his closest disciples, objected, saying, “This will never happen to you” (Matthew 16:22)! Today, we might imagine Jesus lovingly comforting Peter and telling him God’s plans were best, but Jesus’s actual respone is shocking: “Get behind me Satan! You are a dangerous trap (obstacle, stumbling block) to me” (Matthew 16:23). Jesus recognized the kingdom of darkness working through Peter to attempt to thwart the purposes of God.
On a smaller scale, whenever the enemy plants a lie in your heart that causes you to disobey God, you, too, are experiencing spiritual warfare. One might say, “Well, isn’t that just your flesh at work?" The problem with believing disobedience is only caused by our fleshly desires is that we ultimately miss the origin of what contributed to the disobedient thought. As noted earlier in Ephesians 2:2, it is Satan who is at work in the hearts of the disobedient.
I can see why it would bug you. I’ve never had a similar experience, but I have had demonic encounters. Because of what you’ve shared with mental health issues it’s difficult to say what the cause was.
But since it bugs you and because it is a scary thing, I think you should pray about it. My understanding is that you’ve given your life to Jesus and if that’s true, then you are God’s child and a Christian. It that’s not true, what’s holding you back? Only God can answer what that was and how it might have affected you. He is your Shepherd and He is the truth.
To nullify Satan’s influence on our behavior and not see it as spiritual warfare is to lay a foundation for works righteousness. We cannot, in our own strength, live righteously. It is a work of the Spirit called sanctification (John 17:17, I Corinthians 6:11). This is not to say “the devil made me do it,” but is a clear understanding that the devil is indeed at work in people.
The apostle Paul drives the point home when he reminds the believers they “are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12).
Most of us have not come into direct physical contact with an evil ruler of the unseen world. But what about the unsaved boss at work who hurls curses your way when you don’t measure up to his standards? What about the suave, listening ear of the man in the next cubicle who understands your thoughts before a word is ever on your tongue? Your marriage “just happens” to be in trouble, and this man “just happens” to be in close proximity. Are the boss or the man agents of spiritual warfare? Yes, though likely unaware they are being used by Satan in this way. If we chalk these situations up to us needing to learn to be humble in the face of adversity or learning to manage our temptations, we will run like a hamster on a never-ending wheel of performance.
Do we need to learn to overcome temptation? Yes, but not by our own power. Jesus taught us to pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Matthew 6:13). One might wonder, But doesn’t temptation come from our own desires? According to James 1:14, temptation does come from our desires, which entice us to sin, but where did those evil desires originate? From the deceiver, the one who is at work in the hearts of those who disobey God (Ephesians 2:2).
A cute colloquism that’s been trending on social media is this thought that our greatest enemy is inside of us (The enemy is en-em-me). While this makes for a viral post, it isn’t biblical. Our greatest adversary is not ourselves, and it is the devil himself. Must we constantly submit to the lordship of Jesus, bringing every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)? Absolutely. We have a responsibility to live righteously as we are being sanctified by the Holy Spirit day by day.
However, to nullify our greatest enemy is unwise and will yield disastrous results. Every Christian has been commissioned into the army of the Lord. Our chief enemy is Satan himself.
Burning my hand on the oven might teach me to be patient and put on an oven mitt. Losing my keys and cell phone might teach me to be more attentive or focused. Pausing to give time to the “least of these” might teach me sacrifice. These, in themselves, like most of life’s inconveniences, are not spiritual warfare. But whenever you face opposition to the purposes of God in your life, that, indeed, is an enemy attack. Be aware, for you are in warfare.
I may be reading into this too much, and forgive me if that is so, but it sounds to me as if you are accusing Mr.max1192025 of insincerity. If you are, and I hope not, please realize that we are not here to judge or test, but to support and lift each other up in a spirit of brotherhood and sisterhood. Again, forgive me if I’ve read that wrong, as words as such can be easily seen that way. There are always better ways to say things if we give it a mulling-over pause.
@Mr.max1192025 , Satan and his legion have powers and delight in using them. Little tricks like this are within that power. Be it a manifestaion of an unkown entity (ie., Bigfoot, UFO/UAE, ghosts, etc.), to a sighting of a dead friend or family member, it’s within his realm.
If you don’t already know the story of The Witch of Endor, she was consulted by Saul to summon the spirit of the prophet Samuel for advice on defeating the Philistines in battle. What was summoned was likely a demon/spirit impersonating Samuel.
The devil likes to strike when we are at our weakest. That’s why we wear the armor of God. So as Jesus once rebuked the legion from a possessed man and cast them into swine, so must you rebuke such things, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
So Mr.max, look these two examples up on your own, then tell us your thoughts. I have faith you can find them with no help and come to a God inspired conclusion. Don’t forget to pray for his guidance before hand.
I may sound insincerity, but it’s only because this is my first time with religion. growing up, my mom taught me that pastors like to get little girls pregnant because thats what “god intended” and that if she EVER caught me talking about christianity in a positive way, she’d test me for STD’s and Pregnancy tests. she also made me snap a metal cross over my knee when i was 11 because she told me that i’d be hanged if a Christian found out i have both male and female reproductive organs.\
whats holding me back is my ideology of “we forgive, but we don’t forget.” so even if i do ever make it to heaven, i’ll never be a good person. which made it hard for me to read bibles and pray, because i was raised to believe that gods love has limits on minorities. that god only made white men, and made women to be their muses. it’s not that i don’t want to accept jesus christ, but its because i’ve been hospitalized, beaten, and fought so many times for religion that i turned to hiding and sheltering it. He saved me from death before my own mother did. that’s true respect – respect for all.
@Mr.max1192025 sorry joe was not accusing you of sounding insincerity, he was speaking to Bestill when he made that comment. And Mr.max please dont ever think you are not god enough. Because you are you are better than just good enough. You are Gods child no matter what you were born with, if you believe and have faith and accept Jesus christ in to your heart. Then you are no different than me or anyone else who makes it to heaven. You will be perfect in everyones eyes even Gods
There is a known condition that at times right before true deep sleep, a person can get frozen and thinks seeing things happening, like a super real dream
Mr.max, my comment about insincerity was not directed to you.
I’m sorry if you think it was.
I feel for you and the childhood that has been stolen from you by having an abusive parent. I can, and do, relate to you on this. My mother was a relic of the hippy era (and was a flower child in every sense) who fought cancer for three years before loosing to it when I was 9 years old. My biological father was a predominantly absent, mentally/phyically abusive drunk and womanizer. My step-father was a ordained reverend of the ‘hands on, screaming prayers, speak-in-tounges’ varriety, with a slew of mental disorders, who was always grabbing me by the face and screaming at the Devil to ‘come out’. He died from a drug overdose when I was 14.
After my mother died, my maternal Grandmother (who nothing was ever good enough for and had no problem letting you know it) took me and my three siblings in, short term. The two youngest, the only biolgical children of my step-father, were taken in by his sister. My Grandmother kept my oldest brother for the sole purpose to help with her ‘skit-zo-phrenic’ brother with Parkenson’s disease who claimed most of his life that the government was sending people to kill him. I was rejected, and was the only one sent into foster care.
I spent my 10th birthday in a children’s psychiatric hospital for trying to kill myself by suffocation when I climbed in a 50 gallon tote box, closed the air tight lid and went to sleep, hoping it was for good. When I was released from there, it was directly to what’s called a Level-3 Group Home (Quaintly and misleadingly called Jackson Academy). It was nothing more than a maximum security prison for children. I was kept there until I was twelve.
I was then subsequently shuffled from varrious group homes and foster homes. Over 57 different ones. Most forcing me to attend their individual churches, synagogues, temples, kingdom halls and covens. This went on until I graduated from Highschool at the age of 19 because I had to repeat 1st grade…
Anyways Mr.max, story short, you are not alone. And remmber, we are ALL wonderfully and frightfully made. We all have our own burdens we carry until we lay them down.
