So, the nature of this second testimony is also a thank you to this community and the support it has provided, with that said let’s begin.
From the time of my release (august 26th 2024)p until around October of 2025, I was adjusting to life on the outside, it had taken me 250+ job applications before I was hired in january of 25.
At first, I was very closed off, I prayed, worked, stayed home. I never socialized, I was to institutionalized to function around people.
I kept my faith and kept a very narrow path.
fast forward again to october. I turned 33 and was starting to get restless, I bought my first car, I started socializing with one or two people outside of work, I kept faith.
Then I started talking to my now ex. We started hanging out the week after halloween. She liked to drink (I didn’t know then but she was and is a severe alchoholic) so we would drink, even though I wasn’t supposed to. This became the daily routine from the time we woke up even at work.
Despite countless warnings from family, I didn’t leave her.
Then started the verbal and physical abuse, she was used to all of her past boyfriends hitting her I told her that wouldn’t be me, so she would push me verbally and hit me, I always refused to engage. She also had a strong hatred of religion, and I started to push God and my faith away to please her.
Everyone I meet asks why do you love her so much? there was good to her, we connected well, she was also my first girlfriend, first kiss, first intimate partner, so maybe that’s why.
I talked her out of suicide twice, we spent every possible moment together, and I developed a habit of drinking, at first due to pressure, afterwards just because.
New years eve came around and I was working a 12 hour shift with her, drinking. on the way home a 7 minute drive, I got pulled over. DUI, less safe, meaning I was under the limit but was still arrested for a misdemeanor, I bonded out and spent the next 5 days with her, we pretty much didn’t leave the bedroom, I went to see my parole officer January 6th, catching the misdemeanr violated my parole. I’ve been in jail since that day with no news, no updates.
I called her every day for 70 days, by day 14 she was cheating, day 20 telling me how worthless I was etc, I put up with it, hoping my situation wouldn’t take long.
I gave up on faith, mad at a God who would let me experience life and love and rip it away again.
I started reading here, and signed up, it wasn’t God who abandoned me. I had abandoned Him.
Now with support and renewed faith I am slowly healing and again growing in faith.
Am I still in pain? yes, but it is getting easier.
Thank all of you for the support and kindness.