Feelings:
“When we invest in active listening, the dividend is an expanded capacity for compassion.” Laura Buchanan
• Feelings are the internal reactions generated by our own interpretation of people, events, and life experiences. Feelings are not opinions, beliefs, an evaluation, or an instruction. No one can force us to feel a certain way. While other’s actions may affect us, how we interpret their actions determines our feelings.
• While people can’t choose what feelings will come to them, they can choose how they will respond to those feelings and to what extent they will continue to feel them.
• Strong emotions often don’t have words.
• Don’t expect everyone to be the same or to be like you.
• Anger is often the outward expression of either fear, hurt, frustration or a combination thereof.
• Feelings need to be expressed: Psalm 32: 3-5, Psalm 42:5
Taking it further:
• Invite deeper sharing with open-ended questions. (e.g., “What did you think…?” What can you tell me about…?” “How did that make you feel when…?”)
• Jesus often asked questions when He already knew the answer. His questions opened the dialogue for others to share their thoughts and feelings with Him. For example, “But what about you? Who do you say I am?” Matthew 16:15. “What do you want me to do for you?” Matthew 20:32, “What do you want?” John 1:38
• Be aware of spiritual attacks because our adversary often strikes at our weakest moments.
• End your time together by praying for them.
• If needed, make a note of all the important points of the conversation after you’ve left. This will refresh your memory for the next time you meet.
• Active listening is a skill to be learned. Practice active listening skills with a family member or friend. The goal is to get comfortable with the different ways to actively listen.
Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen and understand. Matthew 15:10