I’m a 19 year old Christian man. I love God and want to be Godly. However, I’ve found myself since as long as I can remember being attracted to boys and men, with feeling “excited” when I see a guy shirtless or fantasizing. I didn’t think twice about it till I realized it means I’m gay. I don’t want to be gay, as it is a sin. Any thoughts of what to do? I don’t want to tell anyone.
Well, first, I’m proud of you for acknowledging the Truth. Yes, homosexuality is a sin. As well as anything outside of traditional marriage. Homosexuality: Leviticus 18:1-5, 22-24, 29; Leviticus 20:13; Ezekiel 16:49-51; Romans 1:18-32, to name a few. Transgenderism- Deuteronomy 22:5, Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 11:14-15, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. Pedophilia - Mark 9:42, Luke 17:1-37, 2 Timothy 3:1-17, 1 Corinthians 5:1-6. Beastiality- Leviticus 18:19-30, Exodus 22:19
The Bible makes it extremely clear that marriage, between one man and one woman, needs to be honored.
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4
However, you are correct. It is the act of homosexuality that is sin. Not the thought or desire alone. The ACT of Homosexuality is a sin. Now you must be careful, though, the thoughts can be dangerous as Sin does begin in the mind,
“Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” James 1:13-15
There is no, regardless of what man may say, scientific, biological, or any other proof that people are “born this way.” God is not an author of confusion; He also does not make mistakes. If you are born a male. You are a male. Born a female, you are a female; anything else is confusion and mental illness.
As an alcoholic may have the desire to drink, or a person may have a desire to commit murder, or lust after someone, it can be dangerous in the sense that it can LEAD to sin, but the desire is not sin yet. If that makes any sense to you.
I suggest you keep reading the Word. Praying and spending time with God, and finding a local church that teaches the Truth according to God, and not just serving the flesh. Many will have Bible-based programs, and or counselors, perhapse that were Gay, to help you.
You are seeking the truth. You are seeking God. Remember jesus did tell us.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
Peter
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There are pathways for this to occur. One can be raised in a culture like the ancient Greeks where boys were introduced to it. One can experience the judicial judgment of God as a penalty for worshiping the creature more than the creator such as described in Romans chapter one. It is also possible to become entangled as a result of being abused.
Still another pathway is playing with ideation and coming to see it as a source of self-stimulation. This is dangerous as it can quickly become addictive. Christian maturity is supposed to be about abandoning the selfishness of the flesh and fleshly influences and the cultivation of the selfless love of Christ found in walking by the Spirit.
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I was not raised among it, I didn’t know what lgbtq was till I was like 12.
I think I just grew up among the girls, which affected things.
All about denying self, take up you cross, and keep on following our Master, and to crucify the ego and members of the somati.
J.
Jesus said “If you love me, keep my commandments.”
Keeping God’s commandments require a transformed life. That only comes through intensive bible study using evangelical scholars’ videos and commentary. Until you KEEP his commandment, you do not love him using his definition of love. You need to plant your back end on a seat and study several hours a day. Get multiple commentaries and videos. There are millions of resources on the next, but you may not be able to trust someone on the net. That is why I say get commentaries and videos from evangelical scholars. Stopping your disgraceful actions with men only takes a commitment to learn the Scriptures. Keep in your studies, and don’t go out to places where you will meet other men. You will live with God’s punishment if you don’t stop. Now, go get commentaries on books/epistles that contain a section on gay activity and make a commitment to study your butt of for the foreseeable future. If you are an alcoholic stay away from bars. If you are gay, go to work, then go straight home and lock yourself inside until you have matured considerably. Don’t ever stop studying many hours a day, that is how a believer is transformed into the image of Christ. You have a long way to go! If you are not serious and committed, then you are on your own.
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The problem is I’m living in a dorm with other boys my age. It’s awful temptation zone. What am I suppressed to do? Live is a solitary monk?
You are not well enough to be in a dorm. You need to explain to the student council that you can not be put in this situation. Find a solution, you give up too easy, and that is your problem.
This would embarrass the heck out of my mom. I don’t know where I could stay.
Jesus said.
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman (Or Man) with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her (him) in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” Matthew 5:28-30
If you have to, YES. Move. Until you are married, YES, no sex. Live as a monk. No sex means no change of prenacies, STDs, and all the drama. Just be content until the day comes to marry.
You can always say you have too much anxiety to be there with a group of people. It is affecting you mentally and emotionally, and you would be better off out of that situation. This is true. You do not need to elaborate on the cause of your anxiety, although being truthful with your Mom may be helpful for you to overcome it as well.
Peter
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It does not mean you are gay, you are only 19. Don’t define yourself as being gay. It may mean you do need to be aware like some of the posts say and of course don’t act on it. Most men appreciate a man’s man, like Clint Eastwood in his movies but not in a sexual way. Most men admire men who are Navy Seals but that does not make them gay. Good luck and pray.
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Hope he is going to take your scriptural advice brother.
J.
I am. I’m trying to pray and read the Bible
And that’s the problem @Josiah
Merely trying to pray and read the Bible outwardly is not, in itself, the same as true spiritual transformation. A person may engage in religious activity, know theological terminology, and yet remain inwardly unchanged. Scripture teaches that Christianity is not simply external conformity, but an inward rebirth brought about by the Holy Spirit.
Jesus told Nicodemus in John 3:3, “Unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” The Greek verb is γεννηθῇ (gennēthē), an aorist passive subjunctive from γεννάω (gennaō), meaning “to be begotten” or “born.” The passive voice is important because it indicates that this rebirth is ultimately an act of God upon the individual, not merely self-improvement or religious effort. Christ further says one must be “born of the Spirit” (ἐξ ὕδατος καὶ πνεύματος), showing that true conversion is supernatural and inward.
Likewise, Romans 12:2 commands believers, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” The verb μεταμορφοῦσθε (metamorphousthe) is a present passive imperative from μεταμορφόω (metamorphoō), meaning “to be transformed” or “transfigured.” This describes an ongoing inward change, not merely outward religious performance. Scripture does not call people merely to recite prayers or read words on a page, but to experience renewal in the inner man through the work of the Spirit.
The Pharisees in Jesus’ day are a sobering example. They studied the Scriptures diligently, yet Christ said, “This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me” (Matthew 15:8). The issue was not lack of religious activity, but lack of inward regeneration. The noun καρδία (kardia, “heart”) in biblical thought refers to the inner person, the seat of thought, will, and affection.
This is why Scripture speaks of the “new creation” (καινὴ κτίσις, kainē ktisis, 2 Corinthians 5:17). True Christianity is not merely external religion, but a changed nature. Prayer and Bible reading are essential, yet without repentance (μετάνοια, metanoia), regeneration, and the indwelling Holy Spirit, they can become outward exercises devoid of inward life. God desires truth “in the inward being” (Psalm 51:6), not merely religious routine.
J.
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Are you saying I’m not saved
No, I am not claiming to know the state of your salvation. Only God perfectly knows the heart. My point was that Scripture teaches that outward religious activity alone does not equal inward regeneration. That principle applies to every person equally - heterosexual, homosexual, religious, irreligious, moral, immoral, all of us.
The Bible repeatedly warns that a person can appear outwardly religious while remaining inwardly unchanged. Jesus said, “You must be born again” (John 3:7). The issue is not merely external behavior, but whether the heart has truly been transformed by the Holy Spirit.
At the same time, Scripture also teaches that genuine regeneration produces repentance and an ongoing struggle against sin in every area of life. None of us comes to Christ already perfected. Christians battle sin daily. The question is not whether a person has ever sinned, but whether they are being drawn toward Christ in repentance, faith, and submission to God’s truth.
So I was not singling you out personally or declaring you unsaved. I was speaking about the biblical doctrine that true Christianity is more than outward practice, it involves inward transformation through the Spirit of God.
What church are you affiliated with?
J.
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A very conservative Presbyterian Church. They say homosexuality is a sin, which I believe.
OK? So what are you having an issue with? A good go to, or measuring rod, is this (Holding up the Bible.) If it, whatever it is, is not in here, or is opposed to what is in here, then it is a lie. Any church or religion that does not have Jesus as the cornerstone and His Word as final is not a church of God, nor is the “pastor” of God. Them you should stay away from.
Peter
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That’s a good point. 19 is still quite young.
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Pray. Keep your eyes and thoughts away from temptation. Thoughts will come and go, dont blame yourself but cast down those thoughts like the apostle Paul teaches us.
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