A woman I went to high school with and I reconnected on social media. This woman has an adult daughter, younger than my own, who’s married with a small child. This woman suffered from major depression and eventually took her own life. Her daughter started asking for financial help from people online, and since I was able to do so, I gladly sent her money for assorted emergencies. Always she would promise she’d pay me back, but she never repaid a cent. Last time she asked me for money, I told her, “No.” and she un-friended me and blocked me.
Of course, I also directed her to seek help from local churches (she’s a few states away) and other possible resources of welfare, but I have no way of knowing if she ever took advantage of that advice or not.
I thought I was sowing seeds in her life, but it looks like I just threw pearls before swine. She knows I’m a Christian, and I thought it would be a poor witness to refuse to help when I was able to. It appears I was just being taken advantage of.
Things have changed, and I’m not in the same financial boat I was back then. I have often tossed around the idea of taking legal action against her to recoup my money (I have records of all the transactions and our conversations with her promises to pay me back), but is that really something a Christian should do? I know we’re not supposed to sue other Christians.
I’ve been praying and asking the LORD for guidance, but I haven’t gotten anything solid in terms of an answer. Any Godly advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance and GOD bless.
Does the bible give you personal jurisdiction over this gal? It sounds as if you forgave the loan when you had means, then after those means diminished, you changed your mind. Let’s suppose you are not time-barred, get personal jurisdiction in the proper forum & find an attorney to represent you. To prevail, you must speak through filngs and/or testimony, raise your right hand to the Court that you did not change your mind; perjury, to the Court is one thing, to God another. A Christian should not go down that path - is the answer to your question.
[That said, this should not be construed as legal advice]
In theory, you could prevail but if any of your text history to the gal or her Mom indicate your initial mindset, any resulting suit is actually estopped by lache/satisfaction doctrine, then you wasted money on pursuing litigation. A competent attorney would dissuade you or not take the case.
Send this gal a letter to inform her of your decline, share some bible passages, pray for her and maybe one day she will have a change of heart.
God Bless You
Hi, I know someone will give you scripture. But I will give my opinion.
If you give money dont expect it back.
Armitage112, you’re clearly carrying a heavy burden—and I respect that you’re seeking godly wisdom before acting. But let’s not confuse emotional injury with spiritual clarity. You’re not just asking, “Can I sue?”—you’re asking, “Can I be righteous and still seek repayment?” So let’s cut straight to it.
You said you “thought you were sowing seeds.” Maybe. Or maybe you were watering weeds. Just because help was given doesn’t mean it was harvest-worthy. Even Paul didn’t hesitate to call out those who mooched off the church: “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (2 Thess. 3:10). Your generosity became her gravy train—not her gateway to godliness.
Now here’s the sting: no, Scripture doesn’t explicitly forbid a Christian from suing a non-believer. Paul’s warning in 1 Corinthians 6 is about Christian-on-Christian lawsuits—dragging the name of Christ through pagan courts over petty disputes between brothers. That’s not your situation. But just because something is permissible doesn’t mean it’s profitable (1 Cor. 10:23).
Ask yourself this: Would legal action glorify God or just gratify your frustration?
If you’re after vengeance disguised as justice, let it go. Romans 12:19 says, “Do not avenge yourselves… for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” And He will. Trust me, no one escapes the Judge’s docket.
But if this is about stewardship—if your finances are now strained, if there’s clear fraud, if this is about setting a righteous boundary—then yes, pursue justice with a clean heart. The courts are a tool, not an idol. Just don’t expect the system to sanctify what the Spirit hasn’t already settled in you.
You were lied to, used, and discarded. That’s real. And yes, it hurts more when the leech knows you’re a Christian, because she wasn’t just exploiting your wallet—she was testing your witness. But don’t let her sin reshape your theology. Sometimes the “pearls before swine” lesson isn’t about the pigs—it’s about us learning when to stop tossing.
Pray again. Not for a lightning bolt, but for holy clarity. If peace doesn’t flood your spirit about suing, then God’s already answered.
—Sincere Seeker. Scripturally savage. Here for the Truth.
Does she have the means to pay you back?
Can you aford a legal battle? Is it worth it?