Blinded by love, why do we push away those who warn us and not see the truth?

Relationships
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Speaking from personal experience loved ones and friends constantly pointed out red flags, abuse, etc.
I couldn’t see it, I denied the truth, I pushed away everyone who said “you deserve better” or “she’s not good for you.”
hindsight is 20-20 and I see it now, why not before?
Does love really blind us? or is it something else?
can we apply any wisdom or teachings from the bible to avoid this, or is it something we learn only by experience?

what are your thoughts, opinions or experiences with this?

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This is an interesting question. Remember, love always rejoices in truth.

> “It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:6

This suggests that authentic love isn’t required to ignore reality or “blind” itself to facts. If love is separated from truth, it becomes a fantasy. Real love is seeing the flaws and choosing to stay, rather than pretending the flaws don’t exist.

> “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23

This calls for discernment. Experience is a powerful teacher, but the “wisdom” here is to be proactive. Vigilance doesn’t mean being closed off; it means being aware of what you are allowing to influence your core values and peace of mind.

There is a recurring theme of testing and discernment (1 Thessalonians 5:21). In a relational context, this means observing fruit—the long-term results of a person’s character—rather than just the immediate “spark.”

While the Bible provides the “map,” experience is often how we learn to read it.

Wisdom tells you that infatuation is a chemical high. Experience is the sting of realizing you ignored red flags because they “looked like roses” at the time.

> “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22

To avoid the pitfalls of “blind love,” we may find it helpful to involve a community. Often, the people around us can see clearly what we cannot see through the “fog” of a new romance. Ultimately, the goal isn’t to avoid the vulnerability of love, but to ground it in agape—a love that is conscious, intentional, and deeply rooted in the reality of the other person.

Peter

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Does love really blind us?

“Love” is a really misunderstood word. What people call “love” is often a complex aggregation of emotional sensations such as lust, desire, anticipation, expectation, and imagination. These sensations can be so powerful as to blind anyone to hearing or seeing anything else.

Biblical love is essentially selflessness.

1Co 13:4 Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
1Co 13:5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil;
1Co 13:6 rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth;
1Co 13:7 beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

The reason we are deaf to what those who love us would tell us is that our emotions can wrap us up in a cocoon of intense pleasurable sensation equal to the sensations of an alcoholic or drug addict.

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There’s the head and there’s the heart. Sometimes they don’t agree and one will rule over the other. So we may know or suspect that something is wrong or not good for us, but the heart wants it and justifies it. I think there’s a song by Selena Gomez called ‘The heart wants what it wants’. She lived through this experience, but never resolved the issue.

When I’ve been through this, the question I’ve come to ask is why. Why does my heart want this? Need this? What is missing in me or what need is in me that I would subject myself to this? Am I lonely? Am I feeling unloved and any sort of love is ok? That can be a tough question to answer.

Having a relationship with Jesus changes things and that’s probably why you see it now. When the heart rules, the mind is blinded. The heart clings and becomes needy even if some part of our thinking knows it’s wrong.

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See, I accepted the flaws but also the flags were definitely roses,
and I should definitely listen to a community, something I refused to do in the first experience, also, this real love, it has to be two sided right? If I am the only one giving their all it won’t work right?

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I believe you are right, we get so wrapped up and feel so happy it is exactly like drugs or alcholhol

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Correct, I felt like I had been missing what love and happiness was, it was a new and different kind of happy, I didn’t know feelings could run that deep and keep growing and spreading, I became consumed by it, and became lost.
why did this happen? was I lonely? etc are the questions sought, at least now that I am getting back on track with my faith, I know that I can always find love in Him, and family.
also I think He guided me to where I am at in life to wake me up and show me the truth of things and lift the fog.

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Try to shift the focus away from yourself and onto the testimony of Scripture, for the Word of God is the true and abiding witness ~John 5:39; 2 Timothy 3:16–17, and it is through that Word that faith comes, not through personal emphasis ~Romans 10:17.

J.

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I can only speak from personal experience, I am still learning scripture and studying the word, my grasp on such is not as astute as others, so while I may use personal testimony, I still am a man of faith and attempting my best to walk as a christian. I don’t have the ability or knowledge to quote 10 verses yet, maybe one day. :grin:

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John 15:26–27[1]
The structure is decisive, the Spirit bears witness about Christ, and the believer’s testimony is derivative and aligned with that same Christological center.

Acts 4:20[2]
Testimony is constrained speech, it flows from encounter with Christ and is not constructed for effect, but compelled by truth.

Act 4:20 For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.

1 Corinthians 2:1–2[3]
The content is explicitly delimited, authentic testimony excludes self-exaltation and is reduced to the cross as its interpretive center.

1Co 2:1 And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God.
1Co 2:2 For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.

1 Peter 3:15[4]
Testimony is responsive and reasoned, rooted in sanctifying Christ as Lord, and expressed with controlled demeanor.

1Pe 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
1Pe 3:16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.

Revelation 12:11[5]
The efficacy of testimony is not in the speaker, but in its grounding, the blood of the Lamb, with the spoken witness functioning as its verbal extension.

Rev 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

First, Scripture establishes that the primary testimony is God’s, not ours:

1 John 5:9–11[6]

So the controlling category is not “my story,” but God’s testimony concerning His Son.

Second, Scripture defines the content of testimony explicitly as the Gospel:

Revelation 12:17 ties “the testimony of Jesus” directly to the Gospel itself, not subjective experience, which aligns with GotQuestions’ own statement that the testimony of Jesus is the gospel message.

Third, personal testimony is permitted, but it is always subordinate and structured by the Gospel:

Luke 8:39[7]

Notice the grammar, the man does not proclaim himself, but what Christ has done, his experience is the vehicle, not the substance.

Fourth, the apostolic pattern guards against self-centered testimony:

1 Corinthians 2:1–2[8]

Paul deliberately reduces testimony to the cross, not to his personal narrative.

Taken together, testimony is Spirit-enabled, Christ-centered, Word-aligned, cross-defined, and humbly delivered.

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You agree @BetterDays?

Shalom.

J.

  1. But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with me from the beginning. - ESV ↩︎

  2. for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard. - ESV ↩︎

  3. And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. - ESV ↩︎

  4. but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you yet do it with gentleness and respect - ESV ↩︎

  5. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. - ESV ↩︎

  6. If we receive the testimony of men, the testimony of God is greater for this is the testimony of God that he has borne concerning his Son And this is the testimony that God gave us eternal life and this life is in his Son - ESV ↩︎

  7. Return to your home and declare how much God has done for you And he went away proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him - ESV ↩︎

  8. And I when I came to you brothers did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified - ESV ↩︎

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I do, and don’t :sweat_smile:, while I believe you are correct that scripture and His word are at the end of the day the truly important thing, I believe personal experience has it’s merits in testimony. Examples being, I had heard scripture, been exposed to it, and denied it for most of my life, only my personal experience brought me to God, through sharing my experience, I have brought others to God.
also the basis of a post like the OP, is to help gain clarity and insight not just for myself, but perhaps others struggling with the same, not everyone has the same experience or the ability to derive answers from scripture with as much knowledge as you or some others, sometimes knowing or seeing somebody else has gone through similar trials and overcome them, gives the next person the strength to make it through knowing they are not alone in their trials.
I do get the point though and I appreciate your insight.

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Alright, I’m going to step away from this thread and move on, so that I’m not perceived as being combative.

Immerse yourself into the Scriptures and “feed” on God’s word.

Shalom.

J.

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Don’t see you as combative, everyone is entitled to their point of view, and we can all learn from each other, I learned several new verses from your post.
and I do see where your coming from. end of the day it’s about Christ and doing our best to live in his example.

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Oh, and honestly, two songs come to mind, Justin Bieber “go love yourself” I think, because my mama definitly didn’t like her XD, and Selena Gomez, “Lose you,to Love me”.

I hate and love music, now that I’ve experienced a “broken heart” some songs have so much more meaning, from Juice Wrld’s Lucid dreams, to Apocalypta’s I Don’t Care. and MASN Hate me.
everything hits different.