Notice you can’t say Bubbles and be or remain mad? 
I joined here looking for not just community in Christ but also answers to something that has vexed me for years.
I was Baptized when I was a preteen. I reflect upon that now and think I did this more to be accepted by what was a clique among my peers in that church.
Didn’t work.
Over the years I became a lapsed (?) Christian. I explored other faith walks and even Agnosticism and atheism.
In my late 30’s I felt pulled back into the fold . And at that time Christ communities first came to my attention shortly after I bought my first computer.
I tend to have an analytical mind.Sometbong that has vexed,if that is the right word, me for some time is how this whole thing got underway.
I’m here asking for help,insight,clarity.
Because a few weeks ago when I walked into my house after running errands my mind went blank for a second,as I entered my kitchen.
A split second later I felt this overwhelming vision,sensation, to drop to my knees and repent and come home.
I walked right through it. I continued into the kitchen and unpacked the groceries.
Jesus said,no one comes to him unless the Father calls them.
Was that his call? Did I miss it and God then figuratively kicked the dust from his feet and moved on?
The last thing that has me conflicted is, Genesis.
In short: God said, in the Old Testament that everyone is responsible for their own sins. The sin of the father does not pass to the son.
Yet, all people are born sinners because of the sin of Adam through which sin entered the world.
In a nutshell, given we are separated from God by Sovereign God’s doing, aren’t we asking God to save us from himself after he made us to be condemned after birth when we are accountable for our sins?
Especially when God could have forgiven Eve for being deceived by a higher intelligence.
Yet,because the Lamb was slain before the foundation of the world,and the name of the redeemed were written in that Lamb’s Book of Life before the foundation,creation,of the world, wasn’t the Fall preordained by God?
If we weren’t to be like him ,knowing good from evil,right from wrong, as may be inferred by God’s command to not eat of that fruit that would imbue us with those qualities,why else would God have planted that particular tree in the center of the Garden of Eden?
But so to fulfill his plan that slayed the Lamb before God created this world.
The serpent knew what tree to slither into so to tempt Eve in the first place.
We know God still communicated with Lucifer after Lucifers banishment from Heaven. (See The Book of Job,wherein he tested Job with God’s permission)
Boy,do I know this a lonnnnng Intro.
Bless you for your patience if you have read this far.
This quandary has bothered me for years. And any time I enter a Christian community to discuss the Scriptures I love, it’s there.
I guess what my trying to rationalize the whole thing is about,and yes I know faith isn’t rational but is spiritual, is so that it all can make sense to me, Salvation doctrine in total, so that I can believe without question.
To be clear too,yes,I do believe in Emmanuel.
Please help me to understand. Sincerely.
Thank you for your patience and understanding in reading this.
God Bless you all.