I am reaching out to you at this critical point in my life, as I have struggled against suicidal thoughts for five years. At the age of five, I endured sexual abuse by a relative, and my parents never provided me with a sense of security. Consequently, I developed a constant state of fear throughout my childhood. My upbringing was dominated by fear, anxiety, and dread. Up until high school, I didn’t experience any serious repercussions, but afterward, my life took a turbulent turn. I was diagnosed with depression, OCD, and severe PTSD. I attended a boarding school where I encountered bullying from both teachers and fellow students. When I reported this mistreatment, I was met with the same terror at home from my parents, which forced me to endure the bullying and toxic atmosphere at school throughout the week and weekends, facing the fear and anxiety . Since then, I have felt completely lost, unable to find safety or stability, constantly feeling threatened either by the outside world or within my home. I started therapy, though it has been uncomfortable for me; this discomfort doesn’t stem from the therapist’s abilities but rather signifies that my situation is too complex to improve solely through therapy. While she seems competent, claiming she can help, I lack alternative support, and since beginning therapy , I have not experienced any significant healing. She never provided with any skills, but they do not seem to aid in achieving stability. I feel trapped, as I cannot seek another therapist due to the lack of qualified professionals in my area, and her approach can be demanding and unprofessional at times. I am at a loss regarding what to do; I don’t believe I can endure another year like this, and I urgently need to heal to escape away and lead my life. However, reaching that goal feels impossible due to my difficult circumstances and illnesses. The expectations of society weigh heavily on me, and I have no idea how to navigate this situation alone. I am asking for help.