I’ve wondered this for a few years. Did God curse me for a bad sin? Back in 2021 I was 14 and s*xually developing. The problem is as you may know because of issues caused possibly by experiences growing up, I found myself noticing other men. I’m not sure I was really a Christian then. Anyway, I had sinful thoughts multiple times at church. And since then, my life hasn’t been the same. I’ve constantly been feeling bad, with stomach issues and chest pain (which I went to the doctor several times and it is no real issue, nothing cardiac) and lack of energy. I never had those before what I did.
I do think God used the evil for good though, as it led me to the cross as I realized my sin and the thought of dying. However I still don’t feel like I used to. I’m 19 and I’m supposed to feel energetic and the world is my oyster, but I feel the exact opposite.
Do you think God judged me? If so why isn’t my judgment going away?
When you speak you give off elements of a carnal nature and sin, as well as elements of the Lord’s Holy Spirit which constantly keep you thinking and rethinking. When you lean towards the Lord and His will, you will become a target for the enemy. Draw even closer to the Lord and they attack you ever harder. So I don’t think the things which have beset you are judgments from God, but rather spiritual attacks from the enemy. And the Holy Spirit is right there to work through your conscience to lead you back onto the right path.
I recommend that you read two chapters in the Bible today. 1 Corinthians 3 and Romans 8
@Josiah
At 19, you still have much time to grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ (2 Peter 3:18). May I ask, are you actively involved in a local, biblical church? Scripture calls believers not to neglect meeting together, but to encourage one another as members of Christ’s body (Hebrews 10:24–25; Ephesians 4:11–16). Online forums can be useful for discussion and learning, but they are not a substitute for the fellowship, shepherding, accountability, and corporate worship that God has ordained through the local church (Acts 2:42–47; 1 Timothy 3:15; Titus 1:5–9).
@Josiah, God taught me a biblical pattern of prayer that isn’t in western cultures, which he used to heal me of seven years of major depression for 39 years now. Read Job 10; Psalms 6, 22, 39, 88, and other psalms; Lamentations 3.
That pattern of prayer is lamenting. At the depth of my depression, God enabled me to lament, that is, privately express my honest feelings of anger and anxiety openly to him. It took 8 1/2 months three or four times a week of laments along with prayers for God’s peace of Philippians 4:6-7 until God gave me that peace. My depression has not taken hold of me for 39 years now.
The same thing can happen with feelings of guilt.
Finally, I had a lot of difficulty with lust for women, and it could also relate to homosexual lust, that God convicted me of its sin and taught me to praise him with my mind for his creative power in providing such creations in his universe. When I feel that urge, I focus my mind on him as the great Creator instead of my selfish pleasure of lust, and he relieves me of that sinful temptation.
First, there are consequences to our actions, so if we do something bad, there is likely to be a bad outcome. For example, if I rob a bank, I go to prison. That’s one way to look at it.
The other way to look at it is: If we do something bad, God punishes us.