I’m having difficulty moving on from
someone I fell in love with in my old church. It was a year ago I last saw him and six months later I found out he is marrying another lady from the church. They’ve been friends a long time. Due to an accusation of immoral intentions by his mother, I was mistreated by him. He apologized once I told him about the misunderstanding, but I felt the trust had been violated. His mother had lied and done things in the past to keep us apart out of fear that I wouldn’t make a good stepmom to his daughters. Ultimately, I lied to him and told him I didn’t want to get married and left the church. I knew deep in my heart I wanted to grow more as a Christian. I now seem stuck in regrets and sometimes still feel angry and cheated by them. God has been amazing toward me by allowing me the gift of attending a Master’s program in biblical counseling. I get discouraged at times because I don’t see where will I use these talents, considering how much money and time I’m investing in school. I have grown so much as a Christ, but feel so confused at times because I wonder if I should be humble and send them a congratulatory letter or just move on let the Lird be my guide.
Hi,
First, let’s pray:
Father, we come before You today with thanksgiving and gladness in our hearts for Your continuing care for us.
gatia729 aka Rachel76 is having a hard time moving on from her previous relationship. She lied about her feelings and now regrets what she said. But it is too late to make amends as restoring the relationship is not possible. Please give her Your assurance that You are working all things for good. Set her heart at peace. Help her as she goes through the counseling classes. May she see all that You are teaching her. Deepen her understanding.
We thank You for everything and ask that Your will be done; in Jesus name, anen.
Now a personal note:
Wow, that’s a lot to take in and try to direct.
You say you are taking classes in counseling .
So read this post with your counselor’s eyes.
How would you advise a person who told you this?
Not to beat you up over it, but you did lie. And now you see the consequences of the lie. Sometimes we can not go back to that normal again.
Do you believe that subconsciously you really didn’t want to be married in that situation?
He moved on relatively quick.
The environment was toxic with the mother.
You felt the trust had been violated.
Are these the kind of issues with which you want to enter into marriage?
All these indicators leads me to believe, you believe that you are better off without him.
Your subconscious was protecting you.
And even though you said, as a lie, you didn’t want to get married, was it really a lie?
I think your subconscious broke through and said how you really felt.
So, was it really a lie?
Quit beating yourself up over this.
God has forgiven your lie.
Now forgive yourself.
Have you found a new church where you are being fed, and might be able to put your counseling skills to work?
Finish the course.
Then use it to help others.
Maybe start a ladies study group and develop more counselors. Just a thought.
I know I’ve rambled on. But your letter touched me.
Blessings