I am in desperate need of guidance. I’ve begun to see a man that had physically abused me in the past. We’ve spent about a yr and a half apart from one another and he came up to me at church and I was open to a conversation.
Since that conversation we have continued to talk and spend time together and all of the feelings came rushing right back like they never left. I have seen changes in him and have faith that he has changed his abusive ways.
That being said — I’ve been given an ultimatum — choose him or my supposed friends.
I just need guidance on where to go! Thank you for taking the time to read this and pray for me!
Kristine
If I may ask, you say this man physicall abused you. Was this abuse illegal?
Has he admitted the abuse to you and to authority figures like his pastor and to the police?
Regardless of what the answers ar, his deman that you chose between him or your friend is symtomatic of a n abusive controlling relationship.
Ask him what his pastor said about his confession, ditto the police.
I strongley suggest that you cut all ties with him.
That you tell God all about it and pray that God will deal with him and with your emotions about it.
Untill he repents, accepts responsibility for his acts you do not have to forgive him, just pray for him.
I had gone to the police and had a restraining order put against him.
He has repented and since has given his life to the Lord. He is attending men’s groups and putting his entire self into the Lord.
Again, I have seen changes in him - he’s reacting differently to things now.
My friends are asking me to choose — but I feel like I’m being pushed to see if a relationship will work with us…
It’s good that he has repented and is seeking to change.
Expecting you to chose him or your friends is controlling behaviour.
May I suggest that you tell him that if he is expecting to controll you that you will end the relationship.
It is never either or, he needs to talk with his therapist.