I’ve been talking with some friends lately who are considering leaving a church they have attended for many years. It’s not for the obvious reasons of the church being corrupt, departing from God’s Word, etc. The pull they feel to find somewhere new is more something that has slowly become clearer to them over time until they have taken the step to attend services somewhere else.
It made me think about how you know it’s time to find a new church community. I know we must listen to the Holy Spirit’s guidance and obviously we should leave a church if it’s not following Scripture, etc., but my recent conversations have made me ponder that there often is a lot more nuance with this decision.
What caused you to leave a church? What did you consider before making this weighty decision?
One might see church problems in three categories, doctrine, personalities, and structure.
Some delving deeper into the bible find themselves less comfortable with a superficial or even liberal approach to the bible. Others find a literal interpretation restrictive or inconsistent with modern views of diversity and social justice.
Personalities can make any situation uncomfortable. We are told to love each other so often perhaps because we are so unlovable.
Structure is an often underappreciated aspect. The bible does not describe the early church having three hymns and a sermon / lecture. Running a church as a system tends to diminish the relationships that should define Christianity (us with God and each others).
In teaching juveniles and asked what Church I would recommend, I answered that it didn’t really matter. Whatever church they went to would take one look at them and shuttle them off to youth group. It would be better to not rely on an organizational system to provide them with games and activities, but to seek out an older wiser Christian who clearly showed the light and love of Christ and ask them to teach them how to know Christ like they did.
Church is supposed to make us grow to be like Christ (Eph4) Most are failures. If we seek to do this on our own we need to find those individuals who can help us. If this is in another church, so be it. It may be that a smaller church that focuses on the bible and relationships might yield people more likely that could be learned from. However, a denomination or church move may not be as simple a solution as one would like.
I knew it was time to leave the church organization, but Father was one of its many ministers, and I knew it would hurt him, so I stayed for years more. It was Arminian, and I was starting to see the those teachings, along with many other.teachings were wrong, still, I stayed, putting my precious children in jeopardy (!!!) by my decision. The longer I stayed, the more spiritually, emotionally, and physically (!!):dangerous it became, but I thought I could fight these things for my children and stay. After all, I thought, I survived there from birth, so I could protect them. I was Wrong! I was not surviving; I was merely existing, endangering my whole family.
That realization came @ 40 years ago, and I finally left @ 35 years ago, by that time already remarried, but he came out with me. I, my two children, and my husband are deeply scarred because of my exceedingly slow response to ADONAI’s warning, my sweet daughter being the most scarred, my son (apparently least) scarred, my husband scarred but having a more decent attitude than I have, and me . . . well, very heavily scarred.
When ADONAI says move, get out, just do it! Save your family and yourself a heavy load of regret.
But don’t go unless you are Sure!!
I am Messianic. I was not a believer then, but when I was @ 14, I had a strong desire worship with others whose main worship was on Shabbat. Many years later, I “happened” into a print shop where the owner mentioned that his group met on Sabbath. I have been attending there since, @ 33 years, but still attending the church organization I was born into, in the beginning.
Love this site @Raina
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Here are 5 Biblical Reasons to leave a Church. These are the basics.
When the church forsakes sound doctrine.
If the church drifts from the Word, adds to it, twists it, or ignores it, you leave. Scripture is clear, “If anyone does not abide in the doctrine of Christ, he does not have God” ~2 John 9. Truth is not optional.
When sin is defended instead of confronted.
If leaders tolerate sin and refuse biblical correction, that church is no longer following Christ. “A little leaven leavens the whole lump” ~1 Corinthians 5:6.
When leaders refuse accountability and use authority wrongly.
Shepherds are called to feed the flock with the Word, not rule by ego or control. If they depart from Scripture, you do not follow them. “We ought to obey God rather than men” ~Acts 5:29.
When worship becomes man centered instead of God centered.
If a church replaces Scripture with entertainment, feelings, or tradition, the focus is no longer Christ. The Bible commands us to worship “in spirit and truth” ~John 4:24.
When the teaching leads you away from God’s Word instead of deeper into it.
A church that weakens Scripture weakens souls. God tells us to “desire the pure milk of the Word” ~1 Peter 2:2. If you cannot grow there, it is time to leave.
A church is only the people who attend it. Think about that. A Bible is a bible. The Bible study groups have different textbooks, but you can always just keep your textbook from a church you need to leave and if you meet a friendlier group, somewhere else, with other theological reference works you can also still bring up the last groups books socially and look at it as transferring credit from one sabbath school to another.
I was unemployed and the job I got was the other end of England.
Work, marriage, opportunities for service are all reasons for leaving a church with no questioning of ones existing churches teaching.
What one does have to do is use the knowledge of ones minister for advice about another church, opportunities for service etc.
Certainly if following work or moving because one has married, then one needs to research the churches in the area one is moving to and move to be near the most biblical church.
