How much privacy should children have?

How much privacy should a child be entrusted with?

Should you have access to their password-protected accounts?

I believe with respect for privacy with certain boundaries.

When our daughters got their computers and social media, their computers (laptops) had to be used on the kitchen table. We needed full access to the computers, and any suspicious behavior (like when our younger daughter slammed hers shut when we came near) was marked with being grounded from the computer for a week and that site banned.

However, we weren’t overbearing. One time my husband needed to access our older daughter’s computer (for maintenance) and he couldn’t get on using her password. As a result, he took the computer. When she got home, she noticed it gone and asked what happened. He told her that she broke the rule about “access” by changing her password. She swore that she didn’t. What ended up happening was that she “added a PIN”, but didn’t know that adding a PIN removed the password. She gave us her PIN & we immediately gave her the computer back.

We do have their passwords for certain sites: however, it’s strictly as “backup”. Once in a great while one of them will approach us with a request for a password reminder. :slightly_smiling_face: They also have access to ours, in case of emergency.

Since we live in a very small apartment, PERSONAL privacy is near impossible; we’ve adapted as well as we can. We use headphones as a signal that a “door was closed”.

Our older daughter started a journal/diary when she was about 10. We promised her that we would NEVER look in it, with a caveat: if we noticed her schoolwork slipping or her attitude drastically changing, we would. She’s 21 now and we’ve never had cause to “snoop”.

I guess the secret is open communication & consistency. Be totally upfront with the children & what is expected of them without being tyrannical, and they’ll rise to the occasion. Rule for one is rule for all, also.

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