Help with betrayal and forgiveness.
I am a single mom but raised my girl right. We had a good relationship. She did go through 2 lying spurts growing up but seemed over it for a long time. She’s now 21. Then she picked up an adoptive dad, from the USA, trump hating catholic from Reddit, she talked to him for a couple yrs and now has moved out and in with her boyfriend.this was last spring and I’m still in shock. I can’t believe what she’s done. She tells other ppl I’m the problem but “she defends me” but told me “she wanted to be more like her friends “ and no opportunity to speak of any problems just gone and I’m the prick. I don’t know anyone anymore. My best friend , Christian sister passed away in 2021 after 45 yrs. Being Freinds. I ordered Maid last spring, they never got back to me. I’m forced to start my own mobile business and I don’t hear from God. I’m old and 5” tall and fearful of going into ppls homes. How to hear and recognize Gods small voice? How to heal alone from betrayal and forgive? I’m so fearful and know I must forgive. That’s a lot, I’m sorry.
There’s a lot here and it sounds difficult, sad and maybe some anger. What I can talk about a bit is forgiveness which isn’t easy and many people have no idea on how to go about it.
I would first think about what exactly you need to forgive and along with that, what it made you feel. Get clarity on it, but don’t dwell on it. The point is to heal from it.
Forgiveness is between you and our Father. He’s the one who commands it. Whether the other person is sorry or not is not the important thing. We can forgive those who sin against us whether they’ve repented or not.
When it comes time to pray, tell God you choose to forgive so and so for 1. What they did. Spell it out. 2. because it made you feel… tell God all the pain and hurt and anger that you feel because of it.
Realize within yourself that forgiveness is not an option. You have to forgive. When you forgive it’s setting yourself free from all the hurt. It’s not for her sake. It’s for your sake and it is a command. Remember how much God forgave you. You have no right not to forgive.
Lastly keep with it and ask the Lord to help you. Don’t dwell on your feelings. Acknowledge them, but move on. We are to forgive from the heart and this what you ask the Lord Jesus to help you with.
That sounds really heavy, and I’m sorry you’re going through all of that at once.
When it comes to hearing God, I don’t think it always comes as a clear “voice.” Sometimes it’s quieter than that. It can be a sense of peace, a thought that keeps coming back, or something in Scripture that suddenly feels very personal.
In difficult seasons like this, it can also feel like silence, even when we’re trying to listen. I don’t think that means God isn’t there. Sometimes it just takes time to recognize how He’s present.
As for forgiveness, I think it’s a process more than a one-time decision. Wanting to forgive is already a step in that direction.
You’re dealing with a lot, and it’s okay to take it one piece at a time.
I will be praying for you, I know betrayal hurts and the feelings can lead to despair and wondering why and how and what could we have done, I don’t have the answers but I do know time and God heal, I do know you shouldn’t blame yourself, people make their own choices, and we can only try to guide them, but ultimately it is up to them.
I hope you feel better soon and I will be praying for your burdens to become lighter.
God bless you.