“Job’s wife said to him, “Are you still continuing to be faithful to the Lord? Speak evil things against him and die!” Job 2:9
Friends I am a prisoner in a horrible place. 23.1/2 hour a day I am locked in a 12sqft cell with 3 men. we are starved and mentally abused all day every day. The purpose is to make prison seem like heaven compared to jail. Plea guilty if you want food, medical treatment, books, therapy, etc Everything I ever owned or loved has been stolen from me and my parents died waiting for me. Needless to say my life is horrible.
even so during my 30 or so minutes of the day i try to spread the gospel. very few listen and those that know me tell me that God has obviously judged me guilty.
as my life gets worse and worse its hard to argue for salvation in here. in 2.5 years only 11 have come to salvation. i have finally quit trying as despair,lonlness, and hopelesness are all i have.
i will not curse God but without his strength or help i cannot serve him any more in my broken condition. i am so lonely the pain is unrealistic. my faith in God is absolute but to believe he loves me is getting more difficult. i grew up with a vengeful merciless God and my life has become a testament to that.
WWYD
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General Faith
inmate031523
1d
“Job’s wife said to him, “Are you still continuing to be faithful to the Lord? Speak evil things against him and die!” Job 2:9
Friends I am a prisoner in a horrible place. 23.1/2 hour a day I am locked in a 12sqft cell with 3 men. we are starved and mentally abused all day every day. The purpose is to make prison seem like heaven compared to jail. Plea guilty if you want food, medical treatment, books, therapy, etc Everything I ever owned or loved has been stolen from me and my parents died waiting for me. Needless to say my life is horrible.
even so during my 30 or so minutes of the day i try to spread the gospel. very few listen and those that know me tell me that God has obviously judged me guilty.
as my life gets worse and worse its hard to argue for salvation in here. in 2.5 years only 11 have come to salvation. i have finally quit trying as despair,lonlness, and hopelesness are all i have.
i will not curse God but without his strength or help i cannot serve him any more in my broken condition. i am so lonely the pain is unrealistic. my faith in God is absolute but to believe he loves me is getting more difficult. i grew up with a vengeful merciless God and my life has become a testament to that.
Friend, I’m so sorry. What you described is crushing. Thank you for telling the truth about it.
A few thoughts, humbly:
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In Job, there’s a lot of silence and lament before any answers. God doesn’t scold lament. Pray Psalm 13 or 88 straight to Him—He put those words there for days like yours.
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“11 have come to salvation” is not small. In heaven that’s eleven celebrations. Faithfulness isn’t measured by output—sometimes it’s simply still believing when everything hurts.
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When love feels impossible, hold to what’s unlosable: “Nothing… will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:38–39). When you can’t feel that, borrow it as a breath prayer: “Jesus, have mercy.” Repeat it with each breath.
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If there’s any access: ask the chaplain for prayer, Scripture portions, or a correspondence Bible course (Prison Fellowship/Emmaus have mail studies). If there’s a mental-health line, please request a check-in—despair needs care, not shame.
A short prayer for you:
“Lord, be near to Your son in this cell (Ps 34:18). Strengthen his body, guard his mind, and surround him with Your presence. Give him daily bread, protection, and one clear sign of Your kindness today. Remind him that You see, and You have not abandoned him. Amen.”
We’re with you in prayer. If you’re willing, tell us one verse you can cling to this week—let us carry it with you.
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Psalms 68:6 i hang onto. Our “chaplain” hates christians. despite the law we dont allow pastors in here, and mental health is being stripped naked, sedated, and locked in a tiny box with no shower, phone,or toothbrush. our mental health treatment is nothing short of torture and makes alligator alcatraz look awesome. honestly i have seen the treatment of the deportees on TV and find myself quite envious
You’re carrying an unimaginable load. Holding to Psalm 68:6 in that setting is a quiet kind of courage—“God sets the lonely in families” is a promise, not a slogan, and He hasn’t forgotten you.
I’m asking the Lord to ring-fence you today—protection, daily bread, and a tangible kindness. When words are few, I often lean on two short lines you might already know: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want” (Ps 23:1) and “Lord, have mercy.” If either helps, let it be a breath, not a burden.
Grace and peace to you tonight.