I just don’t. I’m in pieces. I’m a 19 year old male with adhd who struggles with same sex attraction. I don’t want to go to college, but I don’t like retail work either. I don’t know what I want to do.
I hate my town, I want to move out.
Any suggestions?
You have said this. Perhaps you complain because you are waiting for a miraculous rescue, or because you blame everyone else for your circumstances. The Bible teaches that while we cannot always control what happens to us, we are entirely responsible for our response.
“For each one should carry their own load.” Galatians 6:5
"Lazy hands make for poverty,
but diligent hands bring wealth." Proverbs 10:4
Try to identify one small thing you have control over. What is one step, even a tiny one, that you can legally and practically take today to change this? Complaining is usually just a loud, verbalized form of anxiety. Paul gives a magnificent alternative to grumbling that connects prayer directly to a change in mindset.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
Hold on a second, did you not say you were living in a dorm?
“The problem is I’m living in a dorm with other boys my age. It’s awful temptation zone. What am I suppressed to do? Live is a solitary monk?”
Now you say you do not want to go to college? What kind of dorm is this? At 19, you should be out on your own if you are not in college. You really need to start taking active steps.
Peter
If college is unattractive consider a trade school or the military.
A struggle with homosexuality can be like a struggle with pornography. It can be fixed ideation that one uses for self-stimulation. Deconstructing this ideation can be difficult especially if it has gown over time. It can be helpful to mentally associate the truth about the idea everything it arises such that seeing it as an invasive parasite can allow you to reduce th appeal and see the power it hold over you diminish.
This is also in the general category of not walking after the selfishness of the flesh. Since we are all born helpless, ignorant, and selfish, life consists of trying to improve on this initial state. Selfishness (the flesh) can be the most difficult. The bible tells us not to make any provision (death by starvation). However, this requires us to identify that within us that operates against us so that we can let it die our and thus not grieve or quech the work of the Holy Spirit to make us better people.
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
This is the path to Christian maturity and Christ-likeness.
I struggled with lust for many years. Keep you eyes and heart away from lust. Cast down such thoughts and take them captive. Pray. I know its easier said than done but you can overcome this. Never give up no matter the failure. I was afflicted with terrible mental illness that scared me. After that I was free from lust. Sure it tries to creep in sometimes but I pray and cast down such thoughts. I keep my eye away from all temptation which is everywhere. I’ll pray for you.
Today? Do one thing that helps or blesses another person. Make that a priority for each and every day. One thing. One unselfish thing for a stranger or someone you know. If it takes all day to find someone to bless, than make that your day’s objective, and see how it will change you.
Go get a job in the trades. You could probably get $20 an hour to start. Pick one and go do an apprenticeship. I started out myself with three roto-rooter machines for unclogging drains and then self-taught myself plumbing repair because disposers go bad and faucets aint hard and P-traps constantly fall apart and need replaced. At slow times I’d break down and work for a company for awhile and gather even more experience. Then one time I got the January layoff because that’s plumbing slow season. So I went to the heating & Air Conditioning shop because I thought the Heat & Air guys got more respect than plumbers. They put me on an installation crew and I learned how to install furnaces and A/C units. And run ductwork in new houses under construction.
It only took me 4 years of working in the trade before, at the january layoff I went down and took the Contractor test. I didn’t think I would pass it but I would have my score so I’d know how close I was.
My dad taught me so long ago that, even a bad business is better than a good job. So I planned to go in business for myself. Everyone laughed of course. They said, you need 50K in the bank to go in business! HA !! I did it on a shoestring. Suprisingly I smoked the test with a score of 94. So I went in Business. Drain cleaning, Plumbing repair and HVAC. I got a 1/4 page yellow pages ad and my phone started ringing before the books even came out. My first call was a leak on plastic piping she needed fixed. Yes Mamn we work on that. (I had done it but did not yet own the crimping tools!) I went to her house and looked at the leak and what size the pipe was, I told the customer I have to run and get the proper fittings I need and went and got them AND bought the tool for the pipe to crimp it! I fixed it and everyone was happy. My profit was that tool, now I had it…And it snowballs. My Dad said (and he was right) that if you do good work and stand behind it…the money takes care of itself. I didn’t need charge accounts at the supply houses, I paid cash for everything (except Equipment like Furnaces & A’C units.) wich was 1/2 down 1/2 on completion.
4 years Brother! 30 years later and I’m retired now. My phone still rings, hey Ed can you come fix this? When the economy is good, people buy new Furnaces and air conditioners. When the economy slumps, the people who can repair things will be the ones working and not laid off. You would do good by getting into a trade at your age.
I think you have been under spiritual attack by the enemy. You have given all the earmarks for it. I bet you find it very hard to read the Bible, Am I right?
That you are on this forum asking questions is the proof that the Holy Spirit is working within you. So God did hear your prayer.
The bible says that because you have let the Lord Jesus into your life, that you become a target for increased attacks from the enemy. They entice you to sin, and discourage you from read God’s word so that you will not grow in Christ. If you want help, God wants to help you. The first most important thing that you must do is to read God’s Word. And then ask for help. How will you ever learn more about the Lord without reading His Word? Your mind and heart is like a computer, if you don’t input the data, you learn nothing.
It was hard to start reading the Bible for me some. But I made up my mind that I wanted to know what God really said instead of any man. I wanted to see for myself. You know what? It got a lot easier as I went along, it grew on me and became very interesting to me.
It takes the human brain about 21 days to change their thinking. If you read every day for 21 days, you would have a good start!
One day Jesus will say to some people, I never knew you…and so we all will be before Him one day. I thought, what if He asks me, did I read His book that He wrote to ME? Suddenly, I wanted to read the bible from cover to cover, front to back, and I have 6 or 7 times now, 3 chapters a day, one year.
Read the Bible. Start with Leviticus 18:22:
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.
I know that. That’s the issue
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7 RSV
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 RSV