I’m trying to get closer to God. I’m reading the Bible and Christian books more, listening to Christian music, and going to Bible studies. I love God and his kingdom. However I keep falling into temptations. I still desire to be in the arms of another man. I feel it’s also the only way to finally feel like a man and not a boy. I know this is sinful but I feel so lonely here on earth. How am I supposed to deal with a lifetime of this?
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You are doing the right thing by being close to Christ. Just that He is there. You just need to lean on Him. For guidance and closeness. But He is there. Praying for you as being a believer will never be easy as it is never is. But Christ is the Great I Am!
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Buddhists recognize the trouble people have with desires. They try to suppress them. Christians actually have the advantage of being able to transcend them. This is done by letting go of the element of selfishness that drives the flesh.
Rom_8:13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
Rom_13:14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
Mortification (putting to death) the flesh seems achievable through a process of starvation (making no provision).
People can construct mental images that can be used to induce pleasurable sensations that can become addictive. It can be useful to deconstruct these so that they become less influential.
I believe you have said that you are 19? I think you should understand where you are at in human development. At 19, the frontal lobe of your brain is not developed yet.
Everybody knows that sex drive is strongest in youth, and wisdom comes with getting older. So you have many desires and questions, have high sex drive and your brain has bot finished fully developing yet! So that could be a recipe for disaster if handled wrong. Try not to make too many big life altering decisions yet, give yourself more time to finish developing.
The frontal lobe finishes developing around age 25, making it one of the last brain regions to fully mature. However, recent large-scale brain imaging research suggests that some aspects of brain organization continue shifting until around age 32, when the brain reaches what appears to be its most efficient and integrated state.
To better understand what I am talking about, understand what the frontal lobe of your brain does for you. The frontal lobe does many things. It sends signals to muscles and controls voluntary movements, It’s responsible for higher cognitive function like reasoning and problem solving, planning and organizing tasks and activities and regulates emotions and social behavior which does influence our personality. Frontal lobe plays a role in concentration and focus and attention, giving focus to what you’re doing. And I think it also contributes to speech production.
So as you can see, the frontal lobe of your brain is a huge part of you and your being as a human being with life and a free will. So loosely speaking, you wont begin making better decisions for at least 6 years and perhaps as long as 13 years. Don’t do anything you might regret!
I see that you say you have started reading the Lord’s Word more? That’s good. I have noticed that almost all of the questions that you ask here have answers in the Bible and do get answered there. So this is a great time of your life to begin considering the Bible as your textbook and spending not more time in it but rather much much more time in it! Your brain is developing, It’s like a sponge right now, taking in everything that it can. What a great time in your life to become a scholar of the Lord!
Read that Bible from cover to cover my friend. You wont understand it all, but read it anyway and put that instruction into your mind and being, and something magical happens at some point, it get’s interesting and easier to understand! And you sleep on it and ponder it and it gets into your and your heart and builds a strong foundation for your life and usefulness to your Lord.
Be patient and watch yourself grow properly and wisely.
First, I want you to hear this clearly: the fact that you love God, love His kingdom, and are actively surrounding yourself with Scripture, worship, and fellowship shows that the Holy Spirit is deeply at work in your heart. Struggling with temptation doesn’t mean you don’t love God. It means you’re human and in a real spiritual battle.
Remember, falling down is not the same as quitting. Sanctification isn’t a straight line to perfection; it’s a daily walk of repentance and grace. Proverbs 24:16 reminds us,
"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again,
** but the wicked stumble in times of calamity."**
What makes someone righteous isn’t that they never stumble, but that by God’s grace, they keep getting back up. Every time you fall, don’t run from God in shame. Run straight back to the cross. His mercy is renewed every single morning. Lamentations 3:22–23.
You mentioned feeling lonely and wanting to feel like a man rather than a boy. God created us for deep community and strong, healthy identity. Often, our strongest temptations are misguided attempts to satisfy real God-given desires for connection, affirmation, and brotherhood. Don’t fight this completely alone in isolation. Look for trustworthy, mature Christian men who can surround you with true godly brotherhood and accountability.
Temptation is not the same as sin. Experiencing a temptation or an emotional pull is not a sin in itself; giving in to it is. Hebrews 4:15 tells us
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”
Jesus knows the exact weight of what you are feeling, and He holds compassion for you, not condemnation, when you turn to Him for help.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
Take it one day at a time. Thinking about “a lifetime of this” will overwhelm anyone. Jesus told us not to worry about tomorrow, for today has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34. Don’t try to win a lifetime battle today. Just focus on remaining faithful today, trusting that God will give you the grace you need for tomorrow when tomorrow comes.
Keep getting back up, @Josiah. God isn’t surprised by your struggle, and He isn’t walking away from you. Keep reading, keep surrounding yourself with worship, and keep running back to His arms every single time.
May God be with you.
Peter
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Dear Josiah,
You are doing all the right things, so don’t give up. Remember John 3:16, Remember Romans 12:1-2,Remember Mark 11:22-26, Remember 1 John 1:9, Remember Hebrews 6:10-18, Remember Jeremiah 29:11. Remember to cleave unto to God for He is life: Deut.30:20, Psalm 63:8. Remember God loves you read the Book of John,so He can tell you that.
Cleaving unto God requires active, intentional effort. It is holding on to God with every breath you take.
Ask God to open your eyes to see where that temptation is coming from?
Ask God to give you godly friendships with other men in Jesus name who know HIM to be Father.
Give God ALL your past hurts from your childhood, teenhood, young adulthood,manhood to HIM,and trust HIM to do the supernatural work in your heart through His Holy Spirit and His Word.
Forgive in Jesus name those who mistreated you as you were growing up, this forgiveness will free your heart and soul by faith,and trust in God to do the supernatural work of true redemption that Jesus already paid for you to have when He died on the Cross.
Redemptive Benefits of the Blood of Jesus:
Read: Ephesians 1:7, 1 John 1:7
Romans 5:9
Hebrews 9:14
Revelation 12:11 (The Blood of Jesus is a spiritual shield for christians)
Read Genesis chapters 1:27, Gen. 2:18-22, Gen. 5:2
Leviticus 18:22, Deuteronomy 22:5
God wants you to understand some things about HIM.
Father God thank you for helping Josiah,and giving him revelation that You do love him and care about him. Thank you Father God for opening his eyes of understanding and revealing your lovingkindness to him in Jesus name,amen. Thank you Father God for sending godly men to him that will show him Your friendship,love,kindness,and goodness as men of God in Jesus name, amen.
God’s blessings of love,peace,goodness,favor be unto you in Jesus name
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1 Thessalonians 5:17: Pray constantly.
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How do you judge whether you are close to God oe not?
May I suggest just getting on with living as a Christian, in daily prayer and bible readings, regular attendance to the same church, involvement in that churches social life.
A large part of maturity is simple getting on with life, dealing with lifes problems etc.
Yes you have ‘same sex attraction’ which makes working, socialising with men particularly difficult.
All you can do is take each day as it comes, put your faith and trust in God and live for him.
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The fact that you’re constantly in here, engaging with other Christians and looking inward tells me that you may be falling every so often, but you’re not failing. You’re always working on yourself and your relationship with God and that means a lot. Keep the faith and you’ll be just fine.
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