Is Narcissism the Silent Killer of Christian Marriages?

Relationships
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Narcissist Invasion

Is Narcissism the Silent Killer of Christian Marriages
Is Narcissism the Silent Killer of Christian Marriages1200×630 121 KB

When love turns into manipulation, it may be more than just a rough season—it could be narcissism. Are these signs showing up in your marriage?
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A narcissist, especially in close relationships like marriage, often creates a world where everything revolves around them. Here’s what they typically do:
• They manipulate — twisting conversations to make themselves the victim or the hero, and making others feel guilty for having normal needs or emotions.
• They lack empathy — they may see your pain but won’t genuinely feel it or care about it unless it affects their image.
• They gaslight — making you doubt your memory, your feelings, or your sanity by denying things they said or did, or by accusing you of being “too sensitive” or “crazy.”
• They crave admiration — needing constant praise and validation, and becoming cold, dismissive, or angry when they don’t get it.
• They control through charm or intimidation — switching between being incredibly charming and being cold or critical, depending on what gets them what they want.
• They shift blame — nothing is ever their fault. If something goes wrong, they find a way to pin it on someone else—usually their closest loved one.
• They maintain a false image — putting on a perfect, polished persona in public while treating those closest to them very differently in private.

In short, a narcissist uses people rather than connects with them. Relationships become tools to support their ego rather than spaces for mutual love, respect, and growth. How many of you are dealing with Narcissists? A husband or wife who refuses to share affection, who diminishes or ignores your needs. I am studying the topic and the numbers are staggering. As many as 50 percent of married people say their spouse completely ignore either their sexual need or their emotional needs. The Bible prophecy without natural affection is coming to past. A narcissist, especially in close relationships like marriage, often creates a world where everything revolves around them. Here’s what they typically do:
• They manipulate — twisting conversations to make themselves the victim or the hero, and making others feel guilty for having normal needs or emotions.
• They lack empathy — they may see your pain but won’t genuinely feel it or care about it unless it affects their image.
• They gaslight — making you doubt your memory, your feelings, or your sanity by denying things they said or did, or by accusing you of being “too sensitive” or “crazy.”
• They crave admiration — needing constant praise and validation, and becoming cold, dismissive, or angry when they don’t get it.
• They control through charm or intimidation — switching between being incredibly charming and being cold or critical, depending on what gets them what they want.
• They shift blame — nothing is ever their fault. If something goes wrong, they find a way to pin it on someone else—usually their closest loved one.
• They maintain a false image — putting on a perfect, polished persona in public while treating those closest to them very differently in private.

In short, a narcissist uses people rather than connects with them. Relationships become tools to support their ego rather than spaces for mutual love, respect, and growth just like scripture talks about.

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Interesting. I’d never made that connection before.

Considering the secretive nature of narcissism and how it largely works it’s destruction out of sight of others behind the four walls of people’s homes, and the narcissist’s ability to make everyone else feel like they’re the problem, I thought that the vast sharing of knowledge and experience now possible with the internet these days was simply exposing the truth about narcissism in these last days. But, on the other hand, it seems to be clear that our affluent western society is creating more and more narcissists.

If there’s anybody that can make a person hate life more and look heavenward, it’s the narcissist. I have wondered if these are the vessels Paul talks about that God makes even though he knows what they’ll turn out to be, knowing they are useful to making the riches of his glory known to the vessels destined for his glory:

22What if God, intending to show His wrath and make His power known, bore with great patience the vessels of His wrath, prepared for destruction? 23What if He did this to make the riches of His glory known to the vessels of His mercy, whom He prepared in advance for glory Romans 9:22-23

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Here’s a thoughtful, discussion-oriented response you can post in that thread:

This is such a relevant topic—narcissistic behavior can be incredibly damaging, especially when it shows up in families, churches, or relationships where trust should be sacred.

This article breaks down some of the key tactics narcissistic abusers use—things like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and spiritual manipulation—and how we can recognize and guard against them as believers:

Have you seen some of these tactics at work in your own experience? And how do we balance healthy boundaries with the call to forgive?

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One of the reasons for divorce is the influence of ’ feminism ’ and the rejection of service and the moral authority of the husband.
This article:-An Epidemic of Christian Wives Divorcing – The Transformed Wife

Interestingly it starts with a check list for the husband to ensure he is not the problem, before moving on to the wife.

Yes men have emotional, communication problems, yes they are not perfect, but what does the wife want out of marriage?
Someone who makes her happy and fulfilled!
That is not a marriage.

Christian leaders need to know what their daughters are learning and to teach them about Christian femininity/ Christian Masculinity.