Sensitivity does not make you correct. It makes you twitchy. And I should know as I am a sensitive person too. So I understand the importance to acknowledge that only God is God, and no human is unerring. Anything that man touches is suspect, rife with corruption and political agenda. And all religions have been touched by man.
You should definitely attend a University where you can study more thoroughly those doctrines. And church history. As I have written, faith only becomes real when you can wrestle with it.
My faith does not require any of this to be true or correct or literal. Christianity, Judaism, all the religions of the world- it could all be wrong and my faith would still hold regardless. Because my faith is not based on a doctrine of man. It is based on my relationship with God. Which is lived in. I see God, I walk with God, I listen and learn and grow.
I accredit Christianity for giving me a sure foundation, for sure. But it also showed me what happens when you trust a human with your relationship with God.
God is my Guide, not a human who tells me we shouldn’t drink alcohol because Christ said he wouldn’t touch it again until he returned.
God is my Shepherd, not a church who cares more about proper pronoun usage, and Christmas Greetings, than about the homeless and the starving children.
I don’t need to have all the information perfectly right in order to be right with God. That is a manipulative, controlling, demonic cult mentality buried in the heart of religious behavior. Only God Knows All Things. You just read a book and came to a conclusion. That does not make you “right.” or more “right” than me. Or less, if I am being honest.
Love is the Law. That is the whole Law. Love is unification. Love preserves life. There is no law written against it, but all things of God point toward it. The Gospel was a simple matter, spread by the Apostles. That the poor, everyday person could know God without all the convoluted malarky of the priests. A light burden. A joy. So how could something so simple, and light, become so wound tight? Because man thought it should be fleshed out with rules upon rules, ideas and more rules. Assumptions, proclamations, and guess work.
Sure, its fun, but the fact is anyone can proclaim anything and call it a doctrine. But that does not make it Gospel Truth. Just something another man said.