I’ve lived with depression my whole life as a pair to my low thyroid. Tried big pharma over twenty years ago but it never helped in the least. But I’ve ruined my life and have nothing left but the fear of God. No hope. But the lack of forgiveness I can’t seem to muster for my daughter, the last straw, God says that will prevent my entry to heaven. Every day and night I pray he takes me home yet I’m still here failing. I’m trying to forgive from the bottom of the barrel but it’s not sticking in my heart every day.
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Death isn’t the answer, it may seem dark now but there is always light, I will be praying for you and here for you as a brother, stay strong. This will pass.
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Thank you kindly brother.
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Sometimes a person can withdraw into themselves which can increase a personal darkness. It might be useful to consider how you could break out of this a little bit by investing yourself in helping others. For example volunteer work like reading to the elderly might be a way to relieve some of the darkness and perhaps build some momentum for additional experiemnts.
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Very true and what I've done for many years. Issolating
Thank you kindly, that is very true and accurate and exactly what I’ve done for years. I’ve been thinking of offering to read at old folks homes. Could be very rewarding. ty
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Your generosity of kindness, caring, and sharing has been a balm for me today. Thank you so much! Thank you
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anytime, I have to go soon , I will be here tomorrow, God bless you, will be praying for you tonight after I workout and do bible study. stay strong.
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Very true and what I've done for many years. Issolating
Thank you so much! Your strength is inspiring me more. Thank you, thank you BetterDays. Ill be here on and off tomorrow as well as I continue to look for work. 10 fold blessings to you for your generous kindness to me and so many. This is exactly the family we all need to have and be for each other. Blessings brother, you are a beacon of faith! Thank you as well for your prayers as I desperately need them and Ill be praying for you as well. The kindness I’ve received here is beyond my expectations and I am so thankful.
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i dont think that will prevent anyone from going to heaven. heres what WILL, according to Jesus:
Mark 3:28–30: "‘Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the children of man, and whatever blasphemies they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin’
which means, to my understanding, denying that Jesus is the son of God.
it sounds like that is not an issue in your case.
however, of course, suicide isnt an answer, and i really think such an action will result in some spiritual consequences after death, despite heaven calling.
i had an uncle who killed himself. my dreams could be personal to me, but in them, i felt i was given messages about how he was doing. the first dream, i saw him sitting down, chin in hand, looking very stark, like he was very deeply thinking, and disturbed. a later dream, i saw him standing in a circle with family, laughing and smiling; id missed that laugh. it felt like i was being told that he has had some healing now and is doing better. just my thoughts. i could be wrong. but either way, no, suicide doesnt result in hell necessarily; its all about the unpardonable sin only. youll be fine. i hope you wont kill yourself. why cant you forgive your daughter, though, if you dont mind sharing? maybe someone here can help!
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I know dreams have to be examined against what’s biblical. Jesus only once allowed someone else to bridge the casem between life and death. Careful interpreting.
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I replied to this did u get it?
Thank you for your insight and understanding. Brother in Jesus! We will all meet in heaven you know. Blessings
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indeed; which is why i left room for doubt. i still find it worth sharing in case others want to consider as well.
is that the reply youre talking about, asking if i got it? i didnt get a PM or anything.
yes looking forward to meeting in heaven!!
p.s. i am a woman. people keep calling me “brother” im not sure why lol.
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Fallen,
I did not grow up believing suicide was an unforgivable sin. “Thou shalt not murder” was on my conscience. I too have been suicidal since age 15. Major depressive order with anxiety and panic disorder. I was not treated with therapy until age 23. Then meds finally came in my 40’s.
Meds make it manageable for me. Until March 2019 when I attempted to die. Anxiety and depression overtook me and panic slammed me with no way out so I OD’d. I spent 3 days in a coma. But here I am leaning in the HOPE that Jesus Christ gives.
I do better now a days. It’s easier to cope knowing Jesus didn’t take me and wants me here for a purpose. Each new day is reason to praise God and have gratitude.
He has given me a friend who also talks about how she “should’ve died 34 yrs ago.” I’ve tried to help her see the grace and mercy of God for a year now. She has extremely low days and I prayer harder for her, let her know she has purpose and she hangs on.
I’ve been where you are. Stepping into that dark hole of nothingness seems a better choice but it’s not. God gave you purpose.
I grew up in the eldest daughter syndrome, so doing for others and not myself was the way I coped until March 2019. I began taking care of me and my relationship to God first, others came second. I am not a victim of my depression and self choices but a survivor by the grace of God.
I believe it was Paul who wrote we are given the comfort with which to help others. And I do that when able. Reading in an old folks home sounds amazing. They’d love that and would probably look forward to that. If you live in a city that allows you to hold leftover babies in the newborn nursery, that might be fulfilling. Or any babies for that matter. Also an amazing gesture.
Just know as a child of God greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.
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Thank you for the clarification sister. I am glad I wasn’t the only one mistaken. ty
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confused as to why my name is attached to a quote there that isnt from me…? lol.
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Because Alison, you wrote this?? Remember now? 
wantthetruth
4d
i dont think that will prevent anyone from going to heaven. heres what WILL, according to Jesus:
Mark 3:28-30: ""Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the children of man, and whatever blasphemies they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin’
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I empathize with you, @Fallen, because I suffered from major depression for 7 years; it was like descending into a deep, dark hole.
However, God healed me from my depression for 39 years now. How? Well, I had buried my anger and anxiety about crises in my life deep in my unconscious mind. God used psychological means to get me in touch with those emotions.
Then, he taught through his Word about a biblical pattern that is not in western cultures, lamenting like Job (chapter 10), David in 73 of the 150 psalms, and Jeremiah (Lamentations, especially chapter 3). Therefore, I lamented by expressing my anger and anxiety to God about all the loses that he had allowed in my life, including the death of our second boy.
Jesus taught about the need for persistent prayer, and he motivated me to pray laments for 8 1/2 months three of four times a week by pouring out my tears before God, who then gave me his peace about the first 43 years of my life that has lasted all of these 39 years, as Paul says in Philippians 4: "Php 4:6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Php 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
My major depression disappeared. It has tried to assert itself because of other issues, but God has used my persistent lamenting to take it away each time. You are now on my daily prayer list.
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Thank you @Dogmum for sharing and caring. It really helps to hear of others challenges, feelings, coping, walks, thoughts, and clarity. If not for my cat at this point but I am running out of money too so… Your sharing was very meaningful and I shed some tears. Thereaputic doses of vitamin D3 could help your friend. Check out Dr. Eric Berg on line. He’s the best, breaks it all down w/ a white board and recommends treating it with vitamins which is real medicine eh. Thank you for sharing, I am so touched by people sharing as I am alone. Thank you for your biblical points as that’s most useful and healing balm. I am a long time sick of it all, sick of the garbage people, lies, deceit, all of it. There’s just too much and the choice comforts me. I can’t believe you lived and are here to share your deeply moving story. I can imagine the emptiness. Blessings my sister for sharing your story as I needed it. Thank you
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Oh my goodness thank you for your meaningful understanding. What a soothing balm to my heart. Thank you for sharing and caring and putting me on your list. I’m honoured sir. You sound biblically wise and mature. Wow! Thank you I hope to read more of your wisdom here
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss as well. What profound pain you endured. That hurts my heart and inspires me to talk to Jesus about it all as well. Thank you for sharing
Blessings 10 fold brother.
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You’re very welcome, @Fallen! I know that God led me to your post, and all that he has done in my life is to his credit, not my own. He has also motivated me to witness to his greatness. You might be interested in my books that he has led me to write. You can find them by putting my name, Bruce Leiter, into the search box at amazon.com. Many of my book titles will show up. May God bless you with his peace and abundant blessings in your life.
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