jesus basically said that, save for sexual immorality, there is no justification for divorce.
what about when a man hits his wife regularly etc, but doesnt cheat? does God really expect her to stay?
what about a guy who lies constantly or otherwise emotionally manipulates his wife and wont stop. does God expect her to stay in that abusive situation?
assume wife has prayed for change, works on her own self, and still sees no change on husband’s end on these very serious issues.
See, since I’m an orthodox Christian, I’ll talk about what Orthodox/Catholic church teaches, I don’t know about other groups, but lets see what the apostolic church tell us..
Marriage is meant to be a union of love, mutual respect and sanctification, not a trap for suffering.
If someone is being physically absed, manipulated or emotionally destroyed, then the abuser has already broken the COVENANT OF MARRIAGE, just as seriously as if they had commited adultery. Abuse isnt a bad behaviour, it is a profound violation of the sacrament of marriage.
God never expects someone to remain in such a situation. The Church gives guidance, and if no improvement, then divorce is given in the case of abuse, violence or abandonment..
The Church Fathers and modern Orthodox bishops have repeatedly affirmed that ongoing abuse is incompatible with Christian marriage.
Always read the verses in context..
When Christ said “except for sexual immorality..”, He was correcting the Pharisees who allowed divorce for trivial reasons. He was emphasising the sacredness and indissolubility of marriage, not creating a legal loophole that traps people in abuse.
Bible says..
Ephesians 5:25 : “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
Christ’s love is self-sacrificing and protective…complete opposite of abuse..
Colossians 3:19 : “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Psalm 11:5
“The Lord tests the righteous, but the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates.”
God never approves of violence..
The Orthodox Church recognizes that if one spouse is abusing the other and refuses to repent, they have already broken the marriage vows.
I really appreciate how you framed that…especially that abuse itself is a violation of the marriage covenant, not something the victim must silently endure. God’s design for marriage was always safety, love, and mutual care, never fear.
Even when Jesus spoke about divorce, He was protecting women from being cast aside for trivial reasons, not binding them to suffering. Scripture is clear that God hates violence (Psalm 11:5) and calls His people to peace and holiness, not harm.
Maybe the harder question is this: how can churches today do a better job of supporting and protecting abused spouses instead of pressuring them to “just pray and stay”?
Survival may mean separation, but there is always the possibility of reconciliation.
1Co 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
1Co 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
i really love the multitude of perspectives. things i hadnt considered. seeing balance, too, by the end of reading replies. options instead of just black and white. thank you all, God bless, ive got praying and applying to do, now!!
if anyone else wants to chime in, please feel free still, i very much appreciate the conversation here.