There are days when the the pain ache right to the bone there are days our throat are too dry to form a single word. In those quiet, desperate moments, when there is no food on the table and no water to quench the burning thirst, only our tears can pray for us.
It feels like the very ground is being pulled from under our feets. Life has become a heavy, broken place, completely unfamiliar and terrifyingly dark.
Every breath feels like a battle, and every shadow feels like an ending. I do not understand why this cup is so bitter. I do not understand this empty ache, but even in the dark, even while starving and parched, I am not letting him go.
Praying for you. As I read your post, it reminded me of so many psalms—you are in good company. Like the psalmist, I pray through these dark, heavy days that you see God’s goodness and that he brings you out into the light.
Kien, your words are heartbreaking, and I can feel how deeply this season is weighing on you. When pain becomes so heavy that words disappear, God still hears what the heart cannot express. Your tears are not invisible to Him, and neither is your suffering.
The fact that you can still say, even in this darkness, “I am not letting Him go,” is a powerful expression of faith. Sometimes faith is not feeling strong or having all the answers. Sometimes faith is simply holding on to God when everything around us feels as though it is falling apart.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18.
I will remember you in my prayers, Kien. I am praying that God will provide food and water, bring relief to your suffering, strengthen your body, and make a way through this desperate situation. May He send help through the right people and open doors that you cannot yet see.
“The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.” — Isaiah 58:11.
Please keep holding on. Even when you cannot understand the road you are walking, you are not walking it alone. May God meet you in this dark place and remind you that this painful chapter is not the end of your story.
