My husband and I have always had a lot of issues, but there have never been big issues like infidelity or lack of trust. We have four adult children and are empty nesters. My husband quit going to church over a year ago and has become more and more withdrawn and angry, especially with me. He says I don’t show him respect and therefore he doesn’t show me love. This cycle has been ongoing our entire marriage. He never touches me or even notices me unless I have done or said something to set him off. (Such as saying something that he says is disrespectful.) Anymore, I just am walking on eggshells afraid to say anything. We go weeks without talking. He has shared things are better when I am silent. I am so lonely and unhappy. He refuses any kind of counseling. I decided I would work on changing myself and started seeing a faith-based counselor six months ago. I thought I was improving, and things were a little better. Then, he blew up last week at something I said and let me know therapy was not working. I feel so hopeless and am trying to hang on and wait on the Lord. I am trying to be a better wife. I just feel like a failure. Without God’s love, I don’t know where I would be.
Living with a potential narcissist is difficult. There are many support groups out there to help care for YOU. You can’t change him but you can change how you react and handle situations. You are in my prayers for self-care, marital understanding and Gods continued peace in your heart.
If your husband does not show you the love and care that the bible says is our duty as husbands, and if he is not acting as the spiritual leader of your family, you should consider ending the marriage.
That does not have to be divorce.
Could your home be split into two apartments so you can live separate lives in the same house.
Failing that, talk to your children, get there support/views and devorce him.
Thank you so much for your advice and prayers. So much appreciated!
Thank you. Yes, I have thought of the living situation. We pretty much are almost living apart now under the same roof; except for meals. I still cook and act like all is ok. Just numb most of the time. Separate bedrooms, etc. I appreciate your advice.
It sounds incredibly challenging, but you’re showing great strength and faith by seeking counseling and trying to make positive changes. Remember, Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This reminds us that even in our toughest moments, we are not alone—God is with us, giving us strength.
It’s important to recognize that while we can work on ourselves, we cannot change others; only they can make that decision.
Thank you for your encouragement. You are so right. Just continuing to seek God’s direction. Bless you.
May I suggest going another step towards separation and stop cooking, washi g for him and set up a cleaning rota to maintain the house.
Us husbands have to love our wives as Jesus loved the church, giving up everything for the church.
Thank you. Yes, I have thought of that. It’s going to take some effort on my part. I’m just so used to doing it all.