Well? @jos From a strictly scriptural standpoint, marrying a second cousin is not forbidden.
The Levitical Laws (Leviticus 18 & 20): God laid out explicit prohibitions regarding incestuous relationships to protect sexual purity and family order. The forbidden relationships include parents, step-parents, siblings, half-siblings, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, and in-laws. Cousins are not listed in these prohibitions.
Throughout the Old Testament, marriage within the extended family (endogamy) was common and often encouraged to keep covenant inheritance within tribes: Isaac & Rebekah (Genesis 24): Rebekah was Isaac’s first cousin once removed. Jacob, Rachel, & Leah (Genesis 29): Rachel and Leah were Jacob’s first cousins (their father Laban was Jacob’s uncle).
God commanded that these daughters marry within their father’s tribal clan to protect their land inheritance, and they married their father’s brothers’ sons (first cousins). While cultural norms changed over millennia, Scripture does not classify second-cousin marriage as a sin or incest.
Now, the legal perspective: Legal considerations vary depending on jurisdiction, but second cousins face very few legal hurdles compared to first cousins.
Here in the United States, second cousins are legally permitted to marry in almost every state. Only two states, Kentucky and Nevada, have specific statutes barring marriage between second cousins. In the remaining 48 states, it is entirely legal without restrictions.
From what I understand, in most of the Western world (including Canada, the UK, and Europe), second-cousin marriage is fully legal. Genetically, second cousins share only about 3.125% of their DNA. Medical geneticists consider the risk of birth defects for children of second cousins to be virtually identical to that of non-related couples.
Now you must also consider the family dynamic. While something may be biblically permissible and legally valid, the Bible also teaches believers to weigh the broader social and familial impact of their decisions.
A. Honor and Family Harmony (Romans 12:18 & Exodus 20:12): The main challenge you face isn’t theological guilt; it’s relational friction. If the families grew up unusually close, the family views the relationship through a psychological taboo rather than a genetic or theological one.1 Corinthians 10:23: Paul reminds believers: “‘I have the right to do anything,’ you say—but not everything is beneficial.” Just because a marriage is biblically allowed does not automatically mean it is expedient if it causes deep, lasting division or pain within a close-knit Christian family.
B. Practical Steps for you. Engage a neutral third party. You and your partner should seek pastoral counseling together with a trusted minister who can help assess the relationship objectively and mediate with the families.
Give the families time to process. Shock often drives initial resistance. Listening to their core fears (Is it fear of social stigma? Genetic misunderstandings? Ruining holiday traditions?) allows you to address those concerns calmly.
C. As with nearly everything, count the cost. You must honestly consider whether your bond is strong enough to withstand potential long-term friction or distance with parents and relatives if the family remains opposed.
Be blessed, be a blessing,
Peter