Three weeks ago, my life changed dramatically. Please pray for me

Three weeks ago today, I was involved in a traumatic, life-or-death car crash on the freeway. I was lost in thought, on my way to a doctor’s appointment for an eating disorder that had, up until the crash, consumed my life. While I was ruminating in my mind, I didn’t notice that I was too close to the car ahead of me. I was not speeding or anything. I breaked fast, and when I did, I lost control of the car. The car started to spin out of control. I panicked and started to cry out, then I lost consciousness. I fainted. And when I fainted, my car spun and spun and spun out of control, on the busy interstate highway at 3ish pm. As I was spinning, I was T-boned by a truck, and then hit the side rail of the freeway. I broke my hip, my sacrum, and a small bone in my pelvis. I have no recollection of the crash itself. When the EMTs and firefighters came to get me, I had no idea why I was in the road. I didn’t remember anything. I looked at myself in the mirror and had blood on my face, a chipped tooth, and a headache from the whiplash. My leg hurt as if I had sat on it for hours.

EMS picked me up and took me to the hospital, where I had surgery. I was discharged a few days later, and then a deep darkness hurt me. All the mental health struggles I had struggled with before came alive to hurt me. The OCD, guilt and shame, grief, depression, and everything else. I cried day in and day out. I never got to somatically process the trauma I had faced while I was in the hospital, but when I was at home and felt safe, I could release it. I had nightmares and panic. But I’ve been leaning on God each day, and I know He’s my only lifeline. God has worked miracles in my life, both in my body but also in my heart and soul. Each day I get better. efore the accident, I hated my body, ate a very little amount of calories, and wanted to die a lot. Now, I treat my body with kindness, respect, and honor. I’ve been through so much, both through this accident but all the trauma from abuse and violence. I’m a survivor. God has forgiven me, and is restoring me day by day. For the first time in so many years, I eat an appropriate amount of food. I eat a healthy diet that will strengthen my bones and my soul. I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. I eat what I want, when I want and need to. I’m committed to practicing love for my body. When I have anxious or distressing thoughts, I give them to God.

In about eight weeks, I’ll be able to put weight down on my leg, but for now I use a walker/wheelchair to help me get around.

I still exercise (for health) on my chair as best as I can, and I’m so grateful because I found a fun and engaging YouTube channel that helps me with chair exercises. He’s even a fellow Christian, too! I found a good therapist online, and I started an online eating disorder treatment program, called Equip.

I feel like my bone will heal in no time, and my soul is healing day by day. I’ll come out of this with a whole new love and appreciation for myself, plus a total healing of the mental illnesses that I’ve struggled with for most of my life. It’s not always easy: I still get crying spells and anxiety, and nightmares, and I sometimes fight my body and feel deeply insecure. But each day I’m trying my best. That’s all we can do, right?

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@GentleSequoia hi there–

Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
→ The Hebrew verb here for “brokenhearted” (נִשְׁבְּרֵי־לֵב, nishberei-lev) comes from שָׁבַר (shabar)—“to be shattered, broken in pieces.” But God’s nearness isn’t a polite nod; it’s covenantal presence in your pain.

Isaiah 61:3
“To grant to those who mourn in Zion… a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”
→ That’s not poetic fluff—it’s divine exchange. The verb נָתַן (natan)—“to grant, to give”—shows God initiates healing by placing joy into your empty hands.

2 Corinthians 4:16–18
“Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”
→ Paul uses the Greek participle* ἀνακαινοῦται (anakainoutai)**—“is being made new again.” It’s passive. God is doing the renewing, not you. Even on the days you’re too tired to try.*

Romans 8:26
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness… the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
→ The verb συναντιλαμβάνεται (sunantilambanetai) means “to take hold together with against”—He doesn’t just “assist,” He shoulders the burden with you. He groans with you.

Lamentations 3:22–23
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning.”
→ The Hebrew verb for “new” is חָדַשׁ (chadash)—not recycled mercies, but fresh, tailor-made grace for every new anxiety or setback.

Psalm 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
→ The verb רָפָא (rapha)—to heal—is used here in the imperfect tense, showing an ongoing action. He’s not done yet. Your soul is still under the Great Physician’s hand.

Philippians 1:6
“He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
→ The verb ἐπιτελέσει (epitelesei)—“will complete” is future active indicative—this is not a maybe. God finishes what He starts. Even when your healing feels slow, it’s still in motion.

You’re not a lost cause in recovery—you’re a holy construction zone. Crying spells don’t disqualify you, and insecurities don’t cancel out the Imago Dei. Jesus doesn’t wait at the finish line with a clipboard—He walks in the dust with you, bottle in hand, collecting your tears (Psa_56:8). Healing is happening even on the days it feels like nothing’s changing. Keep showing up. Grace didn’t save you to abandon you.

Let the Word speak louder than your wounds. And yes–trying your best counts.

Stay strong in Messiah Gentle.

Yours in Christ.

Johann.

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